Reply
KittehHipster
remale
Posts: 1,373
Registered: ‎12-10-2004
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Van Damme you all to Hell!

[ Edited ]
Van Damme and Van Damme in Van Damme you all to Hell!

This is a pretty simple idea.  The fighter ever, Jean-Claude Van Damme, fights the second greatest fighter ever, Jean-Claude Van Damme.*
100 episodes of them sparing in exotic settings such as: The Alley, An Alley, That Alley, and everyone's favorite A Dark Alley.
No dialog other then the music of the human form in battle.

No animation, Mr. Van Damme is so amazing he can fight himself and make it seem there are two people in the battle...because he is so good there is!
 
*Jean-Claude Van Damme is such a good fighter he took the position of "greatest fighter ever" and had such a huge lead over #2 his lead alone was more then the entire rating of #2, so he clinched that slot as well...by having just his left index finger kill the #2.

Message Edited by remale on 12-31-2005 01:14 AM

What?
"People are talking. They want my poop." - SwimOdin
Remale Goes West
*sells tickets*



尊皇攘夷
KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
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Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to remale - Message ID#: 22343487

This suggestion (inevitably) makes me wonder if **bleep** is still filtered.  
I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
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Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to gheelnory - Message ID#: 22343553

Yep.

 

 

 

But Remale, hasn't this been done?  Didn't he fight himself in at least one immortal exemplar of the cinema art?

I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehHipster
remale
Posts: 1,373
Registered: ‎12-10-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to gheelnory - Message ID#: 22343587

100 epic battles!  The passion to be seen here would be more intense then all of mankind's wars, since before history was recorded to now, combined.

Besides, look at all the exotic locals!
What?
"People are talking. They want my poop." - SwimOdin
Remale Goes West
*sells tickets*



尊皇攘夷
KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
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Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to remale - Message ID#: 22343736

Yeah.  I'm beginning to see it....

You could do "Van Damme v. Van Damme v. Alley MacBeal"!

 

That could be really good.

I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehHipster
remale
Posts: 1,373
Registered: ‎12-10-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to gheelnory - Message ID#: 22343917

Only if her head explodes.
What?
"People are talking. They want my poop." - SwimOdin
Remale Goes West
*sells tickets*



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KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
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Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to remale - Message ID#: 22343943

I don't know about that....I think Van Damme has too much sense of chivalry to explode a woman's head.
 
But, Van Damme is another kettle of fish altogether!
I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehStar
Sanitysrequiem
Posts: 6,900
Registered: ‎02-13-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to remale - Message ID#: 22343487

Billy Graham WAS right, we are all sinners.
F*$k it, let's go bowling.
KittehHipster
Posts: 1,419
Registered: ‎08-10-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to remale - Message ID#: 22343487

Can Chuck Norris join?
KittehNerd
Bobokittyf--k
Posts: 120
Registered: ‎01-26-2005
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to remale - Message ID#: 22343487

You do kno that van damme was not really a fighter? :smileyindifferent:

He was a ballet dancer! :smileyvery-happy:

Well...He's hot though! :smileytongue:

kin'ai
KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
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Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to Sanitysrequiem - Message ID#: 22348554

Van Damme, Van Damme, and Billy Graham in an alley.....

.....hmn, has possibilities....

I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehHipster
remale
Posts: 1,373
Registered: ‎12-10-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to Glicholas - Message ID#: 22350172

No, he should go back to selling the Total Gym.
What?
"People are talking. They want my poop." - SwimOdin
Remale Goes West
*sells tickets*



尊皇攘夷
KittehStar
Sanitysrequiem
Posts: 6,900
Registered: ‎02-13-2004
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Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to remale - Message ID#: 22363607

You put another 100 pound barbell on that puppy and you can actually get a pretty good workout.
F*$k it, let's go bowling.
KittehStar
Sanitysrequiem
Posts: 6,900
Registered: ‎02-13-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

[ Edited ]

Reply to gheelnory - Message ID#: 22359683

He's, like, 90, but I think he's a level 19 priest, which means he can summon forth the dead to do his bidding, and can cast a mean level 17 Bolt of Judgement.

Jean-Claude Van Damm

Age: 45
Height: 5' 10"
Weight: 189 Waffles
Class: Fighter
Level: 92
Class Level: 1
HP: 3203
MP: 199

Special Abilities: None, since he's not a real fighter, he just lifts weights and yells a lot at cameras, he's like Steven Segal only not giggle enducing, like whenever I see Under Siege 2, but more just sad. I mean, at least Jackie Chan can do real Kung-Fu, and he's gotten fat to, like Stephen Segal fat. But I digress, those Oyama Trilogy movies were pretty cool...that was him, right? Level 18 Call Agent. Weapon Specialty: Abs of Steel, "Hai-Ya!"-ing.

Billy Graham

Age: 87
Height: .67 Bibles (Billy Graham edited Bible, XLVII Version)
Weight: 21 Grams
Class: Evangelist
Level: 99
Class Level: 20
HP: 0 (actually died in 1994, is kept alive by sheer prayer power alone...that and a complex system of potted plant stilts and tubes)
MP: 0 (Zombie wizards don't get MP, not while I'm GM anyway!)

Special Abilities: Selling out arenas, make people wave their hands in the air and waving them, contrary to popular belief, in a manner that suggests that they do, indeed, care. Making you feel bad about yourself. Making you feel worse about yourself for feeling bad about yourself. Telling you what to do after making you feel bad, then worse, about yourself. Downloading the bible and using "Ctrl-F" a lot. Level 17 Bolt of Judgement (Priest Skill). Level 6 Stealth Movement (Ninja Skill). Level 12 Throw (Ninja Skill). Weapon Specialty: Shuriken, Switchblade, Chainsaw.

Message Edited by Sanitysrequiem on 01-01-2006 07:59 AM

F*$k it, let's go bowling.
KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
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Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to Sanitysrequiem - Message ID#: 22376866

Surely Remale will hire you onto his crack writing staff.  

(That was NOT a reference to an illegal substance.)  Also:  wow!  Your really know your Bible editions!

I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehStar
Sanitysrequiem
Posts: 6,900
Registered: ‎02-13-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

[ Edited ]

Reply to gheelnory - Message ID#: 22392263

I work for cheese...50 pound wheels of cheese.

Message Edited by Sanitysrequiem on 01-03-2006 08:44 PM

F*$k it, let's go bowling.
KittehHipster
remale
Posts: 1,373
Registered: ‎12-10-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to gheelnory - Message ID#: 22392263



gheelnory wrote:

Surely Remale will hire you onto his crack writing staff.  

(That was NOT a reference to an illegal substance.) 



Maybe not, but it should have been.
What?
"People are talking. They want my poop." - SwimOdin
Remale Goes West
*sells tickets*



尊皇攘夷
KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
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Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to remale - Message ID#: 22438466

Van Damme you, Remale.     :smileymad:
I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to Sanitysrequiem - Message ID#: 22436235

Direct deposit must be a bi#ch.
I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehStar
Sanitysrequiem
Posts: 6,900
Registered: ‎02-13-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to gheelnory - Message ID#: 22439810

Not at the Bank of Mastication!
F*$k it, let's go bowling.
KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to Sanitysrequiem - Message ID#: 22459833

I never thought that cheese required all that much mastication.  You can sort of gum it.

.....wait....brainstorm.....Van Damme v. the Wheel of Cheese!

 

my money's on the Gouda

I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehFan
Vashs-amor
Posts: 633
Registered: ‎11-12-2005
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to remale - Message ID#: 22343487

As long as he's shirtless and in the tightest pair of shorts he can get on, and still move, that's fine by me!:smileyvery-happy::smileywink:
President of the Vash The Stampede Fan Club!
Proud Member of the Kagome, Kouga, Jin, and Sango Fan Clubs!!! I'm an alt one of two!!
KittehStar
Sanitysrequiem
Posts: 6,900
Registered: ‎02-13-2004
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to gheelnory - Message ID#: 22479124

Wheel of cheese, 8 days a week. Havn't you played Shadow of the Collosus?
F*$k it, let's go bowling.
KittehLegend
gheelnory
Posts: 20,928
Registered: ‎08-30-2004
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Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to Sanitysrequiem - Message ID#: 22486304

Nah, no PS2.  Or any gaming, sadly. No time.  But someday...when I find the time to really devote myself to Van Damme worship, I'll also manage to do a bit of the toggling.
I don't know how he does it but he lives like a king and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines,
And when the man dances certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir,
When the man dances, certainly, boys, what else? The piper pays him! Yessssir, Yessssir…
KittehPunk
Your_Motherrrr
Posts: 32
Registered: ‎04-01-2005
0

Re: Van Damme you all to Hell!

Reply to Vashs-amor - Message ID#: 22480055



Vashs-amor wrote:
As long as he's shirtless and in the tightest pair of shorts he can get on, and still move, that's fine by me!:smileyvery-happy::smileywink:



Wash that mind out with soap, young lady.
Have you put away your toys, yet??