02-28-2009 06:01 PM - edited 02-28-2009 06:03 PM
02-28-2009 08:34 PM - edited 02-28-2009 08:46 PM
Okay.. this should answer almost every "How do I get past [insert] stage?" question you've got. I'm going to repost this with more details once I figure out how to make a thread for this.
Hungry: Feed it bones by buying them from the store, picking them up, and dropping them in its mouth. You have to hold the mouse button down while you're holding something.
Dirty: Clean it up whenever it poos on the floor by "dropping" the TP on it.. then pick up the leftovers and throw it in the trash. Buy more TP from the store as neccesary. Don't forget to feed it. Instead of using bones, you can use pellets from the store. They cost 2 more gold, but they fill it up by 50% of its bar. You can also leave pellets in its bowl, and it will (should)go get some when its hungry.
Hyper: Play frisbee with it by holding onto the frisbee, moving your mouse to the side, and letting go while the mouse is still moving. The bastard should move to the frisbee, and throw it away. Repeat until the stage is over. Don't forget to feed and clean it.
Toilet Training Stage: See below. In addition to this, I reccomend trashing your frisbee unless you're attatched to it, because the bastard is probably going to break it at some point out of anger. The leash is more efficient, guarantees happiness gain, and sometimes you can get money when you walk him. This stage ends whenever it uses the toilet. Also, from now on you should walk it when it gets sad and give it pellets when its hungry. It's the cheapest ways to fill up the meters.
Toilet Training: This applies to the (3?) times that you have to train it to use the toilet. Once this stage, and 2 other times I believe, depending on whether you actually train it by the time the stage ends. You have to hold onto the spray bottle whenever you're not cleaning it with TP, feeding it, throwing poo in the trash, or walking it. Otherwise, the bastard is going to break the bottle every time you buy one. The key to training it is to wait until it crouches down, and then see what comes out. If it's a coin or trophy, grab it and pick your bottle back up. If it poos, IMMEDIATELY spray it, throw the bottle away from it, clean it with TP, and throw the poo away. Then grab your bottle and begin watching again. DO NOT spray it whenever he crouches, because it won't work. Eventually, it'll begin using the toilet. Whenever it has a relapse in training, train it again. Walk the bastard if it gets sad.
Geek: Drop the computer ontop of the bastard, and you'll open up a chat window with it. You can say whatever you like, but you get three awards from the computer. The two that I usually get off of this stage are saying "I love you.", and repeating "Call me daddy." until it says "Fine, you're my daddy. Happy now, freak?" You can also get one for chatting for 10 minutes with it, but I've only been able to get two on this stage, with the third just getting ignored. However, all you have to do is chat with it for a little bit and the stage will end once you click off the chat window.
Smoker: All you have to do is spray him every time the bastard starts smoking. However, the other trick to this phase is that it will get PO'd and start breaking all of its stuff again, and that it has forgotten to use the toilet, so you have to train it AGAIN.
Pyro: If you didn't toilet train it last stage, you still need to do it. There is a way to play this without the bastard annihilating all of its furnature, contrary to popular opinion. Throw away everything but your toilet, computer, and leash. Put any existing food pellets in the bowl. Now, put your leash(es), toilet, computer, and bowl/trashcan in the four separate corners. Whenever it throws a cocktail, watch what direction its heading towards and pick up whatever is in the corner its heading towards. If you have anything in your hand, its safe, if you remember from Toilet Training. Now, walk the bastard as often as you can in-between feeding him, and after a while the stage should end. I'm not sure if this is because you've made it happy enough by walking it a lot, or because it runs out of cocktails. I do know that once it picks one up from outside, it will only throw one, so it may have its own personal inventory.
Pervert Stage: WARNING! DO NOT throw away the dolls/teddy bears immediately upon use. Make sure that there is atleast ONE doll left in the box at all times, and they will keep dropping. You can throw them away for 10 gold each, and you can rake in a fortune this way. It will automatically break every doll that drops, and then you trash it AFTER it begins working on the next one. You can work this all the way to the 2,000 gold award, if you're careful. I accidentally clipped myself off at 1,300, but it's possible. If the dolls ever stop dropping, then buy a doll from the store and give it to the bastard. After it finishes with the doll, they will begin dropping again. This DOES take a while to work up to 2,000 gold, when you have to trash 200 dolls to get there, minus food and replacement dolls along the way. Keep in mind that you have it has to continually have dolls within range, or its happiness will bottom out. The dolls are basically an infinite source of happiness raining from the sky (ceiling?). However, if you don't want to make use of this trick, then just trash all of the dolls that drop to move onto the next stage.
Drunk: This stage is way easier than it looks. All you have to do is buy as much food as booze in the box. Now, alternate between giving him 1 booze and 1 food. Don't stop, just shove it down its throat. After it gets wasted, give it the remaining food/booze in the same cycle, and it should be looking at you like its .. wasted. The stage will end about a minute after you finish force feeding him booze and food. Note that the bastard has forgotten how to use the toilet, so its going to be using the floor the whole time like a drunken monkey. You can't toilet train him this stage, you just have to end it as quickly as possible.
Bastard Stage: This is basically endgame. I haven't heard anyone getting past it, and I certainly haven't. You just have to retrain it, and then go about getting all of the awards you didn't get yet. Awards list (that I know of) follows:
1) Took a picture of your pet - Click the button in the lower right that looks like a camera
2) Rewarded pet - Give the bastard a treat from the store
3) Punished pet - Spray the bastard with the spray bottle
4) Walked pet - Drop the leash on the bastard and pick out a present
5) Collected 200$ - Collect 200$ somehow.
6) Walked pet 5 times - Duh?
7) Cleaned up 25 turds - Duh?
8) Played fetch 20 times - Duh?
9) Chatted for 10 minutes - You don't have to talk for 10 mins, just have the window open atleast 10 mins.
10) Filled the pet up Completely - Fill up Food bar.
11) Got your pet wasted - Give it booze until this comes up.
12) Got the pet to call you "daddy" - Type in "Call me daddy" into the chat box until it does.
13) Told the pet you love it - Type in "I love you" into the chat box.
14) Collected 2,000$ - Either sit on bastard stage for a long, long time or use the trick on the Pervert Stage.
Explaination of store items:
Spray Bottle - Use it to punish the bastard.
Leash - Use it to walk the bastard. The presents caugh up either a coin, pile of poo, or a molotov. Long lasting way to raise happiness besides the frisbee.
Computer - Use it to chat with the bastard.
Bone - Use it to feed the bastard in the beginning. Use pellets later.
Pet Pellets - More efficient way of feeding the bastard than the bone. Fills up 50% of Feed meter.
Treat - Use it to reward the bastard.
Sex Doll - Fast way to raise happiness. 33% of happiness bar raised.
Booze - Use it to get the bastard drunk. Duh?
Frisbee - Pick it up and toss it to play frisbee with the bastard. Long lasting way to raise happiness besides the leash.
Molotov - If you buy these, the bastard will throw them around its box. If it hits anything other than the trashcan or bowl, it will set it on fire (essentially break it.)
Tissue - Use it to clean up the bastard if it isn't toilet trained.
Toilet - If you train the bastard with the spray bottle to use this, then it will create coins or trophies whenever it sits on it. Also nullifies need to throw away poo or use TP.
Poison - Tired of your Lil' Bastard? Buy this and feed it to it if you're feeling murderous.
02-28-2009 08:53 PM
Also, note that the bastard may come under certain effects throughout the course of the game.
Drunk - When you give it booze, the bastard loses bodily function control and gets hungry rapidly.
Tired - No real effect. Go to another screen for an extended amount of time (award, store, walk it, chat with it), and when you come back it will be asleep.
Asleep - BENEFICIAL! When the bastard is asleep, it gains back hapiness to 100%. Clicking or picking up anything on the game interface will wake it up. This includes going to another screen (Award screen, store) while its asleep. Don't wake it up until AFTER its happiness is filled up.
Okay, I think I just invalidated the reason to ask almost ANY other question short of a technical one. -_- But, then again, somebody's going to find "that" question for the sole reason of proving me wrong.
02-28-2009 11:44 PM
03-01-2009 01:36 AM
03-01-2009 01:31 PM
03-01-2009 02:52 PM
this **lololololololol** BASTARD of mine is stuck in the **lololololololol** stage... and he started **lololololololol**ting again after i potty train him.. i have half of my awards missing some though.. any good suggestions???
03-01-2009 04:10 PM
03-01-2009 11:06 PM
The last bonus is this:
On chat with it, say "Call me daddy" do it multiple times in a row around 5-7 and thats it. It's the last bonus.
03-01-2009 11:11 PM
i CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO FEED THE **lololololololol** THING. I TRY TO DRAG THE FOOD AND HER BUT i STILL CAN NOT FEED HER> hELP
Drag the food to it and let go with the food right on top of it, it won't eat the food if you put it near it, you have to force-feed it.
03-02-2009 01:16 AM
I basically DIED.
and whats with the conversations with the blob?
03-02-2009 07:56 AM - edited 03-02-2009 08:00 AM
03-02-2009 07:57 PM
well i got up to the bastard stage before i got sick of him and killed him-you pretty much gotta keep at it.they should have a gun in the game so i can just shoot that little sh*t
I absolutly agree.. gun = good Idea... stupid little f*cker wouldn't use the toilet for the longest
03-02-2009 09:30 PM
03-02-2009 09:51 PM
I need help, My little basterd will not stay happy, its impossible. im on the **lololololololol** stage, but hes so unhappy hes not **lololololololol**. i gave him 5 treats to make him happy but it went down before i could throw the frisbee. the computer doesnt work either. any help?
You have to keep it's behind clean with toilet paper and not have any of his droppings on the floor for it to retain it's happiness.
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