04-03-2012 05:42 AM
So - are Venezuelans trying to kill you???<! By slowly pulling your earlobes every year until they touch your feet and then - do you just die from that? Venezuela sounds like just a - brutal country to have to live in. I'm glad I don't have to live there.
Venezuelans, if there are any of you reading this, flee. There is a better life out there.
04-03-2012 08:36 PM
Over the hill.
what is the hill anyway? I never was told exactly where the hill is.
If you can't see the hill, then it's behind you.
Welcome to my world.
04-04-2012 12:12 PM
04-05-2012 02:45 AM
Hey, Happy Birthday man. I totally meant to say it earlier, but then I forgot and then I thought I already had and then I was embarrassed and then I thought you hated me and then I couldn't think of anything to say. So, in honor of your birthiversary please enjoy this wall of text. (to enjoy wall of text please first agree to terms of service)
TERMS OF SERVICE
By accepting these terms, you are agreeing to be bound by these terms, as well as by ropes; chains; handcuffs; duct tape; silky scarves; and any ancient traditions we choose to invoke.
2. Use License
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(ii) copy it;
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(iv) talk about it in any way, especially at brunch when we’re not around to defend ourselves or have had a few too many mimosas;
(v) attempt to reverse engineer it.
(b) This license shall automatically terminate if you violate any of these restrictions or don’t buy us a present we’ve registered for, no matter how good a gift-giver you think you are, Bruce.
The materials on this website (including dates, times, and participants), as well as visitors to the website, are subject to change, cancellation, ransom, crash dieting, radical facial alteration, experimental treatments of any kind, daylight saving, leap years, and the dark arts. Little to no effort will be made to notify participants about any heretofore mentioned, or otherwise possible occurrences, events, or relevant circumstances, though an updated mailing address for gifts will be communicated here, as well as by text message, Batman-style spotlight, and local NBCaffiliates.
In no event shall this website, its authors, or the wedding itself be responsible.
5. Revisions and Errata
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We have not reviewed all of the sites linked to on this website, nor have we redirected all of them to Frederick’s Of Hollywood’s Gift Thong Registry portal, though we have done that for Bed, Bath, and Beyond, which, come on, Bruce; that’s weak sauce.
We hope to make money for our honeymoon by stealing your information and selling it to:
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Thanks for visiting!
04-05-2012 01:53 PM
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