As for the question of two subs/two doms being together, I'd say the chances of the relationship working would depend on how strongly sub/dom each person is and how important it is for each of them to have that role. If you're only vaguely sub/dom, then it's probably no big deal. I also feel like the dom/dom relationship might be more volatile - each person trying to take control - but I also see it having a better fighting chance.
Personally, in the bedroom, I'm an...aggressive sub. I'm very fight-y and very demanding (greedy, if you will), but in the end, I'm happiest when my partner has taken control. Outside of the bedroom, I like things being on an even keel. I don't need to be in full control, but as Sly said, I need to control myself. That's all I ask.
The first time any guy ever tells me to make him a sandwich (without a hit of irony) I'm dumping his beer in his lap. 
Thankfully I'm not attracted to, nor do I attract, that type of person.
SuchABadPenny wrote:As for the question of two subs/two doms being together, I'd say the chances of the relationship working would depend on how strongly sub/dom each person is and how important it is for each of them to have that role. If you're only vaguely sub/dom, then it's probably no big deal. I also feel like the dom/dom relationship might be more volatile - each person trying to take control - but I also see it having a better fighting chance.
Personally, in the bedroom, I'm an...aggressive sub. I'm very fight-y and very demanding (greedy, if you will), but in the end, I'm happiest when my partner has taken control. Outside of the bedroom, I like things being on an even keel. I don't need to be in full control, but as Sly said, I need to control myself. That's all I ask.
The first time any guy ever tells me to make him a sandwich (without a hit of irony) I'm dumping his beer in his lap.
!
i'd make it then eat it in his face.
sly and you have a good perspective on things.
Tempty_McHotstuff wrote:
-Ninja_Jesus- wrote:
I think all of us have the capacity to be both dominant AND submissive.i agree with this, but i am born from the wombs of submissive. i'm not afraid to admit this.
i would choose a collar and leash over a belt.
arf. arf.
That doesn't mean that your dominant side simply goes away, necessarily. 
I believe that you've only embraced that part of yourself that finds sexual pleasure in being submissive to your lover(s).
scoobdog wrote:
I was really enjoying this thread until the middle.
It seems to me that the whole dominant / submissive thing in a relationship is something of misnomer. Any relationship where one or either partner seeks to enforce his or her will on the other would be unhealthy. Even a relationship where both are submissive would be unhealthy, since true submission means to defer all responsibility as well as authority.
I'd like to say that I take responsibility for every action I do or do not take in a relationship, even in situations where I'm in a passive role, but I don't. I try to be the person who can be relied on to make things work.
Well, it's obvious that an actual dominant/submissive relationship would be unhealthy, but I didn't think we were talking about anything other than sexual exploits.
-Ninja_Jesus- wrote:
scoobdog wrote:
I was really enjoying this thread until the middle.
It seems to me that the whole dominant / submissive thing in a relationship is something of misnomer. Any relationship where one or either partner seeks to enforce his or her will on the other would be unhealthy. Even a relationship where both are submissive would be unhealthy, since true submission means to defer all responsibility as well as authority.
I'd like to say that I take responsibility for every action I do or do not take in a relationship, even in situations where I'm in a passive role, but I don't. I try to be the person who can be relied on to make things work.Well, it's obvious that an actual dominant/submissive relationship would be unhealthy, but I didn't think we were talking about anything other than sexual exploits.
sex isn't the main course, but of course it'll be thrown in there.
when i first meet someone i can tell if they are dominant or submissive by the way they portray themselves. when people think about doms and subs they think of bdsm and things like that, but there's much more than that.
Tempty_McHotstuff wrote:well, my ex was very dominant in everyday life. he handle one thing and i didn't mostly everything else because he told me to do it. i had no complaints because that's how i prefer it to be and my happiness came from pleasing him. he wasn't doing anything i didn't want. i may be submissive, but i can stick up for myself if i feel that is necessary and warranted. my one significant other that i don't have now because of his fidelity issues, but yes i found myself with him. if that's what you're saying.
did you ever see the secretary? please, tell me you did. there was a dominant/submissive relationship before sex.
edit: i don't think most people understand that with these types pleasure can be reached without sex. it's what truly makes them happy.
Yeah, it's obvious I know jack #### about actual dom/sub culture/lifestyle.
And no, I haven't seen The Secretary, lol. >_>
-Ninja_Jesus- wrote:
Tempty_McHotstuff wrote:well, my ex was very dominant in everyday life. he handle one thing and i didn't mostly everything else because he told me to do it. i had no complaints because that's how i prefer it to be and my happiness came from pleasing him. he wasn't doing anything i didn't want. i may be submissive, but i can stick up for myself if i feel that is necessary and warranted. my one significant other that i don't have now because of his fidelity issues, but yes i found myself with him. if that's what you're saying.
did you ever see the secretary? please, tell me you did. there was a dominant/submissive relationship before sex.
edit: i don't think most people understand that with these types pleasure can be reached without sex. it's what truly makes them happy.
Yeah, it's obvious I know jack #### about actual dom/sub culture/lifestyle.
And no, I haven't seen The Secretary, lol. >_>
you should watch it. it's the basics of sub/dom relationships. james spader is in it and for some reason he makes me laugh...
Tempty_McHotstuff wrote:when i first meet someone i can tell if they are dominant or submissive by the way they portray themselves. when people think about doms and subs they think of bdsm and things like that, but there's much more than that.
Oh really? I wonder what I would be evaluated as. >_> I guess I would say that I'm very much a dom but I'm sub when it comes to certain things. I'll be sub for my girlfriend because I know she likes being in control sometimes, even when she won't admit it.
I guess the main problem with grasping the whole dominant/submissive concept is in how "dominant" and "submissive" are essentially absolutes in terms of how they're defined, and how humans, on either an individual, communal, or societal basis, really can't (or shouldn't) be categorized under definitive terms when it comes to something as complicated as human reasoning and logic because there will always be times when either said person/group/society will defy those standards, or there will be someone/something which defies it. Using a word so absolute to describe someone, like "dominant" or "submissive" or "good" or "bad" doesn't sit right with me; I always feel that there must be something more to it than just that, which usually there is.
In that light, no one can be "born" dominant or submissive; we choose to be based on the multitude experiences from our past and present, from when you're born until the day you die. Having said that, of course, there may be a chance that it's genetically encoded into us to be dominant or submissive, but it may only operate within the epigenome where it could actually change as we grow and experience life.
-Ninja_Jesus- wrote:
scoobdog wrote:
I was really enjoying this thread until the middle.
It seems to me that the whole dominant / submissive thing in a relationship is something of misnomer. Any relationship where one or either partner seeks to enforce his or her will on the other would be unhealthy. Even a relationship where both are submissive would be unhealthy, since true submission means to defer all responsibility as well as authority.
I'd like to say that I take responsibility for every action I do or do not take in a relationship, even in situations where I'm in a passive role, but I don't. I try to be the person who can be relied on to make things work.Well, it's obvious that an actual dominant/submissive relationship would be unhealthy, but I didn't think we were talking about anything other than sexual exploits.
Well, sex is more or less reflection of the relationship as a whole. Unless you're into BDSM, you're not likely to get any satisfaction of being pinned down and having your partner have her way with you. And, if you are into BDSM, you're likely expeierince external issues that mandate a more extreme search for pleasure.
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