Babbling

[valiente16]

That needs to be discussed beforehand to be clear. How pl do it don't know though..when I lived in FL I was cool with this married couple in their 20's and they had an open marriage. He had a gf and she had a bf. They knew about each others lover and the lovers knew they were married with a child. They only had one major rule for the lovers ..no catching feelings and no trying to break up our marriage or you are outta here asap..works for them..*shrugs*

[lunarnoodle]

If it works for the ppl involved then I wouldn't presume to critique it.

But if you fool around knowing it would hurt your partner, that's not really good. 

[Saddy]

then i guess that's nobody. cause i haven't ever seen one work for very long.

[SuchABadPenny]

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crapshot2 wrote:

from what I know of ( a few friends who have done this) they never end well, or go long.

there are probably exceptions but they probably are horrible people

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I've read articles that made a good point: most of us only know about failed open relationships because they, well, failed. There's a huge stigma associated with being open, swingers, polyamorous, or whichever term is best. Forget it if you have kids or live in a socially conservative area - you have to keep that sh*t secret. So those couples will keep it under the radar. The happiest couple you know could bring in a third every other weekend, but they're not about to tell you or anyone else about it.

I would argue the opposite. A couple that stay open successfully do it through extensive communication. I say kudos to a couple that can not only tell each other what they want/need but can accept that from each other and attempt to give it. An open relationship is not for everyone, but a certain type of person can make it work.

[DeathysaurusRex]

I dont like to share or be shared.

[Diabolical_Jazz]

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SuchABadPenny wrote:

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crapshot2 wrote:

from what I know of ( a few friends who have done this) they never end well, or go long.

there are probably exceptions but they probably are horrible people

---

I've read articles that made a good point: most of us only know about failed open relationships because they, well, failed. There's a huge stigma associated with being open, swingers, polyamorous, or whichever term is best. Forget it if you have kids or live in a socially conservative area - you have to keep that sh*t secret. So those couples will keep it under the radar. The happiest couple you know could bring in a third every other weekend, but they're not about to tell you or anyone else about it.

I would argue the opposite. A couple that stay open successfully do it through extensive communication. I say kudos to a couple that can not only tell each other what they want/need but can accept that from each other and attempt to give it. An open relationship is not for everyone, but a certain type of person can make it work.

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Cannot kudo hard enough.

I mean, I've seen an awful lot of monogamous relationships fail, but I don't declare THOSE to be impossible. Relationships fail all the time. If you haven't seen a successful polyamorous relationship, then it's worth considering that you maybe just haven't seen that many polyamorous relationships. They aren't all that common in our society yet.

And yes, communication is absolutely vital. Honestly, an open relationship isn't any easier than a monogamous relationship. Any relationship is difficult.

Furthermore, for those of you in this thread who have declared wholesale that open relationships are illegitimate; well, that is very judgemental of you. Perhaps some of us do not place the entire value of a relationship on what happens in the bedroom.

[scrapyard]

aids & stuff