Childrens Hospital

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Welcome to the Childrens Hospital Episode Guide/Summary thread

A few things to note while you are here.

The Episodes are in order, each episode has a brief summary that will just give you an idea of What each episode is about.

Then if you don't mind having parts of the Episode Spoiled just click the Spoiler Button for a more detailed description of the episode.

If you'd like to add to a description, add an episode, would like to discuss something concerning the guides

or just have any complaints or concerns go to This thread.

         Episode list

Season 1

1.  A Hospital isn't a Place.

2.   Monkeys that's what We are.

3.   A Very Special Episode

4.   This Kid's getting a Vasectomy

5.   Nut-Cutters?

Season 2

1.   I See Her face Everywhere.

2.   No One can Replace Her

3.   I Am not Afraid of Any Ghost

4.   Frankfurters, Allman Brothers, Death, Frankfurters

5.   Give a Painted Brother a Break.

6.   The End of the Middle

7.   Joke Overload

8.   Hot Enough for You?

9.   The Coffee Machine Paid for Itself

10.   Show Me on Montana

11.   You Know No One can Hear You, Right?

12.   The Sultans Finger

All photos are from 55

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Season 1

S1E1 A Hospital isn't a Place:

S1E1Starts off with some steamy sex, behind the busy couple, a boy has to get his junk removed.
Soon after, a report comes in about a a school bus crash, some being retarded and all 50 coming there.

Spoiler

Dr. Lola Spratt broke up with Dr. Glenn Richie for him being a jew. She just couldn't handle the christmas time hastle. Her roommate Dr. Cat Black then decides to break up with Dr. Owen Maestro, to prevent any at home confusion between who was dating him. Brick is called in for a surgurey recomnedation as the attending physician. Dr. Maestro needs permission to open a little girl up and the x-ray shows a broken arm. Bricks at first is skeptical, but Dr. Maestro doesn't doesn't trust some black and white space photo, just his gut. Luckily, Dr, Blake Downs gives him the okay to prep the OR, warning him this time he must be right about this hunch. On the way to prep the OR Dr. Maestro gets dumped and Dr. Black's excuse is she has a brain tumor. She get's caught in the lie, and tells him she is lying, but Dr Maestro is too "worried" to accept it. Disappointed over her fail break up attempt she dances it off with her roomie, which leads to the couch. One atop another, in a heat filled lesbian swirl.

Summary by BeastOfSex

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S1E2: Monkeys, That's What We Are.

Dr. Spratt tells Dr. Maestro the truth about her brain tumor, but he is in denial. Chief calls a staff meeting about Lola's brain tumor, and Briggs tries to get Glenn with malpractice.

Spoiler

Dr, Spratt, and Dr. Black are having a roommate sexual crisis.  Dr. Downs is struggling with a severe aging case and asks the Chief for some help.  Chief ends up dumping the case on Dr. Black and Dr. Downs.  When Cat meets her patient she falls in love with the six year old boy.

Summary by BeastOfSex

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S1E3: A Very Special Episode.

Dr. Nate Schacter arrives at Children's Hospital. A Doctor from Puerto Rico gets the spotlight.

Spoiler

Dr. Downs begins to loose his cool after loosing another patient. The new Puero Rican doctor goes around and learns about the hospital and it's doctors.  The twist end, the whole story takes place in the new doctors fart

Summary by BeastOfSex

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S1E4: This Kid's Getting A Vasectomy

Cat breaks up with her boyfriends for Nicky, and a Nobel-prize winning doctor claims he can cure The Chief's medical conditions. Dr. Downs challenges Dr. Schacter to a healing power of laughter competition.

Spoiler

To open the episode, we see Cat break up with quite a few members of the hospital staff for Nicky. Glenn and Lola begin to disapprovingly observe Cat flirting with Nicky. A visiting doctor, Max von Sydow, tells The Chief that he can cure her conditions (Multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's, and cerebral palsy were named specifically). At this point, the show cuts to the commercial for the fake 12-hour finale of NTSFDUV. After this, Chief and Owen are discussing the potential to cure her conditions in bed after sex. He expresses disapproval, because he wants her to keep her "sexy strut". Cat has sex with Nicky, while Blake challenges clown doctor Nate Schacter to a  "healing-power-of-laughter-off". The loser has to quit their job. Meanwhile, when Glenn sees Cat leaving Nicky's room, he decides to give Nicky a vasectomy. Before the credits, Cutter Spindell thanks the audience and reads an excerpt from the fake book the show was supposedly based on, "Hospital of Children" (a particularly verbose book).

Summary by Aresem

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S1E5: Nut Cutters?

In the season one finale, Blake tries to cure Lola's fake tumor to win his healing-power-of-laughter-off against Dr. Schacter, and The Chief decides to let Dr. Max von Sydow attempt to cure her crippling ailments.

Spoiler

As the episode begins, we see Dr. Richie tearing some organ from a patient with his hands in the operating room. He asks for the "nut cutters" (hence the title of the episode) and the nurse realizes that he's giving Nicky a vasectomy. The nurse refuses to take part in the operation, and Glenn says he'll do it himself. Blake reveals to Lola that he realizes she faked her tumor to break up with Owen, and that he wants to operate on it in his upcoming healing-power-of-laughter-off against Dr. Schacter. She refuses, but the Ambien she took kicks in and she passes out. Blake puts her in a wheelchair and proceeds to wheel her off to the operation. Cat finds Nicky's mother crying by his bed, and she blames Cat for Nicky's vasectomy. Cat throws up, and says she's been sick in the morning and craving strange foods since she had sex with Nicky. Nicky's mother becomes furious, but Dr. Black doesn't understand the problem with the situation. The Chief tells some of the staff that she's decided to let Dr. Max von Sydow cure her, when Officer Briggs runs into the room and announces that Blake is operating on Lola. Everyone runs to the operating room (aside from The Chief, who falls down trying). After a faux commercial for the finale of NTSFDUV, an unconscious Lola and The Chief are being wheeled to surgery. We see Blake performing an increasingly creepy comedic operation, and Max performing surgery on The Chief. The patients are wheeled out simultaneously. The Chief is now portrayed by Eva Longoria, as her surgery was a success. Blake reveals that he successfully extracted Lola's (fake) tumor with the healing power of laughter, but she died in the process. He then alludes that he's headed for a "nervous Blake Down...s, M.D" and a pop-under ad for his upcoming fake spinoff appears briefly. The scene cuts to the cast mourning Lola at her funeral, as Cat gives her last monologue of the season. In the after-show portion, Rob Corddry shows us a collection of his favorite moments from the season (all focused on Blake Downs).

Summary by Aresem

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Season 2

S2E1: I See Her Face Everywhere

In the season 2 premier, Dr. Cat Black looks back on her time with the late Lola Spratt. We're introducted to Sy Mittleman (Henry Winkler), Children's Hospital's administrator, and Glenn believes the cure to cancer may be in the butterflies of his collection. Meanwhile, Dr. Downs is shown starring in his ill-fated spinoff, Blake Downs, M.D.

Spoiler

In the season 2 premier, Dr. Cat Black looks back on her time with the late Lola Spratt. We're introducted to Sy Mittleman (Henry Winkler), Children Hospital's administrator and love interest of The Chief. Glenn crushes a butterfly belonging to Sy while treating a girl with cancer. When the patient consumes some of the butterfly's remains and shows signs of health, Glenn comes to believe the cure to cancer may be in the butterflies of Sy's collection. Sy suggests running tests on the insects to determine what cured the girl. Lola considers aborting her pregnancy. Meanwhile, Dr. Downs stars in his ill-fated spinoff, Blake Downs, M.D.

Summary by Aresem

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S2E2: No One Can Replace Her

Cat Black is shown going into labor, and we're given a look back at the days leading up to this event. Nicky's advanced aging disease has brought him to resemble old age, as senility and deafness set in and death approaches. Lola returns, seemingly from the dead, which Owen finds arousing. Cat gives birth, with an unusual twist.

Spoiler

Cat Black is shown going into labor, and we're given a look back at the days leading up to this event. The Chief informs Cat that Nicky's advanced aging disease is reaching it's final stages, and he will die soon. Lola returns and is first believed by Owen to be a ghost. She reveals that she faked her own death to avoid checking her e-mail, which nobody seems to believe. Cat and Nicky have intercourse one last time when Nicky accidentally takes his erectile dysfunction medication, which causes him to have a heart attack. Cat goes into labor, and Lola delivers the kiss of life to Lola before she dies from the complications of birthing a full sized human being. Cat's replacement, Dr. Valerie Flame (Malin Åkerman) is introduced to end the episode.

Summary by Aresem

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S2E3: I Am Not Afraid Of Any Ghost

It's Halloween at Children's Hospital, and the sexy-costumed patients are pouring in. Lola continues to haunt the locker room, and Owen has the new doctor, Valerie Flame, flat-line him temporarily in an attempt to sleep with Lola's ghost. Meanwhile, The Chief is stalked through the hospital by a mysterious man in a less-than-sexy costume.

Spoiler

In this Halloween-themed episode, Owen speaks with Lola again in the "haunted" locker room, and vows to find a way to have sex with her ghost. To do this, he has Dr. Flame temporarily stop his heart with a defibrilator so he can enter the spirit world. However, he is instead sent back in time to a black-and-white version of the hospital in the 1930's or 1940's, as indicated by references to WWII. (Owen remarks that he's been sent to 1987). There he begins having sex with a nurse before being brought back to life by Dr. Flame. He realizes that, somehow, he left his phone in the past, when an elderly nurse resembling the nurse from the past arrives with his phone. She and Owen make out for the remainder of the episode. In the side story, an EMT wants to show chief his "sexy costume". Somebody in a Jason-Esque costume stalks chief through the hospital, and it's revealed that this was the EMT. He then changes into his sexy snake charmer costume. During the credits, he's shown showing off his room to The Chief.

Sumary by Aresem

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S2E4: Frankfurters, Allman Brothers, Death, Frankfurters.

A kid from a knife factory has been injured and it seems it's up to Dr. Maestro to handle it. Sy decides to bring in a new intern, Dr Blake Downs.

Spoiler

Dr. Flame has a telepathic patient and wants to have a little fun. Big pharmacy has found out about Dr. Richie's cure for cancer and they have threatened him to keep it secret. Sy had a brilliant idea to use Dr. Flames gifted patient to talk to their patients in comas for medical information. The entire team is out looking for the cause of the boy with a knife in his chests ailment, but they seem to keep turning up dry.  After a miscalculation, Dr. Meastro's patient goes into a coma, and Dr. Owen begins to understand the thread of National Division of Health.

Summary by BeastOfSex

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S2E5: Give a Painted Brother a Break

Dr. Downs' brother, Sir Tinklebutton (Paul Scheer), comes to Children's Hospital in search of money for a comedic operation, and Blake is confronted by guilt over diverting from his clown heritage. Sy and Valerie turn part of the hospital into a youth hostel, and Owen has suspicions about the seemingly harmless mascot of nearby Rideworld, Daffy Giraffey, frequently dropping off injured children.

Spoiler

The episode starts with Dr. Downs mentioning that his brother will never come looking to make money off his guilt for leaving home in the previous episode recap. Valerie is shown observing the hospital's cliques, and mistakes Blake's brother, Sir Tinklebutton, for Blake. Sy informs the staff that part of the hospital has been turned into a youth hostel, to the disapproval of the staff. Valerie steps in and tells them it was her idea, and they cheer instead. The patrons of the hostel can be seen throughout the episode. A man in a giraffe suit (identified by Valerie as Daffy Giraffey, mascot of Rideworld) brings in a boy with a broken arm. Owen questions him, and he quickly runs off. The boy lies and says he fell in the parking lot. Glenn is the only one who suspects Daffy Giraffey may be involved in the injuries. Blake finds his brother behind the curtain of a hospital bed, and they go on a spree of clown antics throughout the hospital. Later, he accuses Blake of betraying his clown heritage, and tells him that he's dying. Daffy Giraffey brings more children with broken arms into the hospital, and Owen begins to suspect that a new ride at Rideworld, "The Wacky Yacky Arm Buster", may be unsafe. Sir Tinklebutton asks Blake for money to pay for his operation, an operation that can only be performed by a pure clown doctor. Blake obliges reluctantly. Daffy Giraffey is seen mugging a boy outside the hospital, and breaks his arm. He brings the boy in and the police are waiting to arrest him. He explains this was because he could barely pay for his children's food, and a mother drops all charges against Daffy Giraffey on behalf of all the parents. Sir Tinklebutton gives his money to Daffy Giraffey out of charity, and Blake gives him another $15k for his operation. It's revealed once Sir Tinklebutton leaves that the money was actually to pay off a gambling debt, and he very quickly adds $30k to said debt. He returns to the hospital to mine Blake for more money.

Summary by Aresem

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S2E6: End of the Middle

In a very special Children's Hospital TV documentary episode, we take a look back at the world's most popular medical drama throughout the years, and hear exclusive interviews from the show's cast and crew, as well as one generous woman who organized a petition to keep the dream alive.

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S2E7: Joke Overload

   Chief arranges the team for the injured from a building that has collapsed.  She resorts to putting her best doctors forward: Dr. Maestro, Dr. Richie, Dr. Flame, Dr. Fantastic, and Dr. Downs.  After the assigned rolls the chief goes down the line with a congratulatory frenching. 

Spoiler

Meanwhile, two star trek nerds are waiting to meet Dr. Spratt. Lieutenant Degor Koru, (Nerd 1) and informs her of where they have just come from.  With her current irritation at not being picked for the team she declines to treat them.  Jeffery Ross runs into the waiting room with his still son needing help immediately. The team begins to work on the two patients sent from the collapsed building conjoined by a flag pole form their stomach. Dr. Downs, wants the chance to not treat Jeffery Ross' son so they can have his particular ballbusting comedy around.  Every doctor refuses to work on the nerds so Dr. Spratt had to go back to them.  The entire team if forced to regroup, including the chief, to decide what to do about the two patents, they can only save one of the two attached to the pole. Nerd 2's ailment was fixed by the help of seemingly incompetent Nerd 1.  Dr. Spratt becomes enthralled with Nerd 1 and dock with him.  Soon after she needs to see the two nearly dead patients and they end up trusting their lives to Nerd 1.  Both of the two died on that pole.

Summary by BeastOfSex

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S2E8: Hot enough for you?

It's the hottest day of the year and the power goes out, as sexual tension begins to boil we learn of something tragic that has happened to Blake.  He has been date raped!

Spoiler

Dr. Owen curing cancer has gotten him a lot of attention from big pharmaceuticals. Meanwhile the chief tries to spark an affair with Sy, but he holds strong to his wife and leaves.  In the heat Dr. Spratt tries to seduce Dr. Owen, but he isn't interested. Dr. Flame has an intense passion for Dr. Downs and tries to get some closet action, but he passes out from the heat and Dr. Flame takes advantage of the situation. Big pharmacy has told Dr. Owen that they control everything and if he doesn't cave he will get bullet cancer. The heat gets worse and over Blake's date rape he panic and all hell breaks loose.  Luckily the janitor notices the power plug was just unplugged put it back and life went back to normal. Still in the moment Chief and Sy have a passionate kiss.

Summary by BeastOfSex

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S2E9: The Coffee Machine Paid for Itself.

Dr. Owen tries out a new hair style trying to attrack Dr. Flame. A Rabbi and seduces Dr. Flame, Sy faces a  dilemma involving a coffee machine and Lola is confused by a mysterious organ in a cooler.

Spoiler

Dr. Owen's new hairstyle seem to be working on Dr. Flame.  Chief and Sy debate on the budget cuts, Chief refuses to loose the coffee machine and offers to fire a doctor.  Just as Glenn is about to get a date with Valerie, Rabbi Jewy McJewjew shows up and sweeps here off her feet. Briggs stops by and trys to recruit Dr. Maestro while looking for some good coffee. Sy goes to the Rabbi for moral help on the coffee Vs. Spratt problem. Dr. Flame tries to get into the McJewjews pants but can't until sundown. Dr. Owen uncovers the organ was really pork and foiled the rabbi. He still doesn't Dr. Flame, she decides it would be better to not date.

Summary by BeastOfSex

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S2E10: Show me Montana.

It's "Take Your Daughter to Work day" at the hospital starting a conflict involving a child molester, Chief's sexy daughter , and an 12 year-old who no one can decide the gender of.

Spoiler

The parents of the child are finally deciding a gender for their child. Chief sees here daughter with a lollipop and is on the prowl for a child molester. Herm decides it doesn't matter what gender you are, just what is in your heart. Chief finally accepts her daughter is to old for the way she treats her. Dr. Spratt shows her right to breastfeed her child, and Dr. Owen and Dr. Flame makeup during Herm's surgery and they remove all genitalia, making him..her... an it.

Summary by BeastOfSex

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S2E11: You Know No One Can Hear You, Right?

Dr. Maestro faces his inner demon when having to perform an operation on his attacker. There's a brewing debate on an abortion that may be carried out.

Spoiler

Dr. Maestro shows up to work with a black eye, and hides the reason why.  Dr. Spratt has an important abortion case for a senator, but their child doesn't meet the typical age allowed for the operation.  Owen attacker's hands are in critical condition and Dr. Downs needs Owens help or they could loose the child's fists.  Dr. Maestro is unable to break free of his fear and has a brutal flashback of his brutal beating. Daniel comes up with a clever plan to avoid the abortion and with help from the Chief he gets to live.  Meanwhile Dr. Maestro is treating his attacked and they bond, resolving the conflict, sort of.

Summary by BeastOfSex

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S2E12: The Royal Finger: (Drama unfold special) 

The hospital staff must reattach a Sultan's finger after an unfortunate deli slicer incident. Meanwhile, Dr. Richie is still taking it hard over the recent breakup between him and Dr. Spratt.  With Dr. Black dead from childbirth there is no hand surgeons on staff to help the Sultan.

Spoiler

Luckily Dr. Downs had learned everything about had surgery from Dr. Black before her death.  Dr. Downs refuses to remove his makeup to perform the surgery, but Dr. Maestro trys to convince him otherwise.  During the banter, the camera comes to close and falls over, breaking, they must now shoot with a single camera. Dr. Downs has a panic attack stating he can't do theater and runs out of the hospital. Dr. Meastro then performs both their dialogues. Dr. Spratt and Maestro head to deal with the Sultan's finger themselves. Chief's new Sultan adviser love requires here to have royal blood for them to marry. Dr. Downs finally takes off his makeup to do the surgery. In an effort to impress Dr. Flame, Dr. Richie gives her the finger. Dr. Blake, under the pressure of doing the operation correcting has shaky hands and nearly ruins the operation. Fortunately Dr. Black makes a return to do the surgery. In the moment, Dr. Flame confesses to her try identity, the son of the founder of the hospital.

Summary by BeastOfSex