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KittehStar
DeaconPhenix
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Alone With the Revenant

Alone With the Revenant

 

 

Prologue: Mass Requiem

 

"This – is – going to be – the end of the world!" Adelaide screamed.

 

"Don't you think you are being a little over-dramatic, Addy?" Katherine questioned from the other end of the line.

 

"No, I don't! If I can't go to this dance tonight, life as we know it will come to an end!" Adelaide wailed into the phone, lying on her bed as her tantrum coursed into full steam now. "I can't believe my parents are doing this to me!"

 

Any other day of the year, she wouldn't mind babysitting her little brother and she even got along with the little brat, but her parents had to pick this night, the night of the Autumn Bonanza, to visit their friends from college. Missing the Bonanza would undo all the hard work she had spent in high school climbing the social ladder.

 

"There will be other dances, dear. It's not like you're missing the prom." her friend declared, trying to convince her that it was, indeed, not the end of the world.

 

"There won't be many, Kat. We're in our senior year! Plus, this is the first big dance after Homecoming. I will lose any chance of getting with Sherrod if I miss this." Adelaide explained, the burden of the world upon the seventeen-year-old's shoulders.

 

"You mean to tell me that he won't wait for you until the Winter Festival?" Katherine questioned.

 

"But what if he doesn't? I'd be the laughing stock of the whole school! I'd have to drop out and end up like that Kadee Swan girl." Addy shuddered, afraid to even think of that outcome.

 

"Girl, you are blowing this entirely out of proportion!" Kat stated, becoming frustrated with the melodramatic girl.

 

"We'll see about that when I'm living on a park bench somewhere and Sherrod hates me." Adelaide groaned miserably. There was a knock at her door and she screamed out, "leave me alone, Tommy! Can't I have ten minutes to myself?!"

 

The door opened to reveal not her little brother, Tommy, but her father instead. Tom Rainey was normally a laid-back man, taking the worries of his wife and children in stride without the exasperated nature that many assumed in everyday trials and tribulations, but even he wasn't himself after a bad day that was one for the ages. "With a tone like that, maybe you don't want to hear what I'm up going to say, Adelaide. Maybe you can just stay up here all night." he declared, a rare gruffness in his tone.

 

"Give me a minute, Kat. It's my dad." she stated, setting the phone down on the bed. Turning to her father with a subdued frustration, Addy asked, "what is it, dad?"

 

He stared at his daughter with tired eyes for a moment until any last bit of her anger at being interrupted had evaporated before he said, "it turns out that the Worthington's won't be able to have any company tonight. Some idiot jumped out in front of Joe on his ride home and he accidentally hit them. So, your mother and I won't be going out tonight."

 

Tom didn't want to hear her exuberance and gratitude as if he was the one that pushed the person in front of Joe's car just so she could go to her dance, so he turned away and shut the door. Addy yelped in excitement and jumped back to the phone, exclaiming, "change of plans, Kat! The Bonanza is still on!"

 

Knowing that the Bonanza would have been on whether Adelaide had attended or not, Kat giggled but knowing better than to set the girl off on another tirade, she stated, "great! I'll get ahold of Tyler so he can bring the Blue."

 

"This will be a night to remember." Addy declared.

 

 

 

Day of wrath! O day of mourning!
See fulfilled the prophets' warning,
Heaven and earth in ashes burning!

 

 

 

Billy Tullahenny smoked a cigarette and brooded as he looked over his fields, wondering how in the hell he could recover from this. He made the call to the Rainey Facility earlier in the day, letting them know that the shipments would have to go on hold until the situation cleared itself. Old Tom wasn't happy, but there was nothing Billy could do about that; he couldn't sell his partner bad product. It had started with the cattle, but then the pigs had caught the virus and even the chickens were acting sick now. He sure hoped it wasn't another case of Johne's or a different strain of blackleg. He had heard stories of farms in the south going belly up over an unstoppable spread of Johne's disease and blackleg was nothing to turn a blind eye to either. For all he knew, it could be anthrax or coccidiosis. Those damned parasites spread like wildfire.

 

Whatever the cause of the sickness running rampant on Tullahenny Farm, Billy knew that his bad news phone calls weren't going to stop anytime soon. He would have to give a ring to Public Health and then DHA and let them know to keep an eye on the other farms in the area. He'd have to run down to McGill's and Ted Frey's and see how their livestock were faring as well. This was going to be a long evening.

 

He turned back to his house to start making those calls when he saw his wife running towards him, a frantic expression on her face. “Mag, what is it?” he called, dropping his tools to the ground and quickening his pace.

 

“Bill, I just had Ted Frey on the phone. You better get over there right away!” Maggie Tullahenny cried out at him. “All his livestock dropped over all at once. They're all dead!”

 

 

 

dona eis requiem

Bleach FF: Arc 1: The Battle of Four Dragons Arc 2: Eternal Tomorrow Arc 3: Destiny Exiled




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KittehStar
DeaconPhenix
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63219463

These first ten chapters or so are going to introduce a multitude of different possibilities for this zombie apocalypse, so it can never be certain what's happened and what's going to happen. Chapter One will introduce all of the main characters, who all happen to be a lot closer to each other than they think. I hope this short prologue is entertaining and stay tuned for much more.

Bleach FF: Arc 1: The Battle of Four Dragons Arc 2: Eternal Tomorrow Arc 3: Destiny Exiled




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MasterKitteh
DangerHikky
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63219665

:smileyvery-happy: I like the bait and switch with the first couple lines of dialogue, here i am thinking it's already the zombacolypse and it's just this girl being overdramatic about a dance, hahaha.
Uh oh... I wonder if the idiot who jumped out in front of her dad's friend's car was well... ok hikki let's not get ahead of yourself here no one's even mentioned zombies yet.
Ahhh but this does seem to have some connotations of zombie time.
Oh jeez, that sucks for the farmer... and the livestock. I don't like the looks of this...

Awesome prologue. :smileysurprised: I'm super interested in where it's gonna go from here really good stuff.

I got no idea. But what I got is a G.E.D. and a "give 'em hell" attitude and I'll figure it out.


Critcker | Last.fm |


Grumpy Cat
JQuest15
Posts: 28,671
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63219463

Well done D, nice set up to get things going. This is just in time seeing as Walking Dead wont be on for another month D=

 

Gotta gets ma fix of zombies.

KittehStar
DeaconPhenix
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

[ Edited ]

Reply to DangerHikky - Message ID#: 63220837

Glad you guys enjoyed the prologue.

 

@Hikki: I'm going to purposely set up a bunch of scenarios where ppl are like "ahh, now the zombie situations been explained" before I pull the rug out from under ya just for **noel**s and giggles. I thought it would be funny to have a teenage girl freaking out over nothing to start this thing off. I'm still planning on tying the Raineys and possibly the Tullahennys into other situations as well so keep an eye out for that.

 

@JQuest: I haven't gotten into Walking Dead yet and I'm wondering whether I should or not. On one hand, it would be perfect inspiration for my current piece, but on the other hand, I'm afraid of gleaning stuff from WD subconsciously and putting it into AWR. So, p'raps we'll see how this goes for a "season" or two and then maybe I'll check out WD.

 

Also, in a perfect world, I want to try to have AWR releases on Sunday nights, but we all know how tough it is sticking to deadlines like that. That's still what I'm going to shoot for, so pop in on Sundays. even if I don't have one, I'll give you a heads-up as to an ETA.

Bleach FF: Arc 1: The Battle of Four Dragons Arc 2: Eternal Tomorrow Arc 3: Destiny Exiled




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Grumpy Cat
JQuest15
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63227933

No worries man, whether you watch it or not you'll be able to make this work. And don't worry too much on the Sunday releases. I know how it is when RL comes knocking. Do what you can, when you can.
KittehStar
DeaconPhenix
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to JQuest15 - Message ID#: 63268767

So the motherboard in my computer took a swan dive and died a horrible tragic death (I'm logged on to a friend's comp for now). I don't think I can get it  fixed so it appears as if I'm up the creek here for a little while. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience.

Bleach FF: Arc 1: The Battle of Four Dragons Arc 2: Eternal Tomorrow Arc 3: Destiny Exiled




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Grumpy Cat
JQuest15
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63286297

That is a bit of an inconvenience, but i understand. PC's can sometimes be real @$$holes...... do whatever it is you need to do to get yourself past your PC troubles. If you can't do it then you cant do it. No rush in getting the story posted. This should give you some extra time to add to your story and also see if anyone else would like to submit anymore characters should this story still be continued.

Take care Deac. hope to hear from you soon.

KittehStar
DeaconPhenix
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to JQuest15 - Message ID#: 63308521

Quick update. Still no fix on the computer. I found out that it isn't the motherboard, just some corrupted file but even when i wipe windows, i can't get it to work. Chapter One is finished and I'm going to see about maybe running over to a library and typing it out, but other than that, I'll prolly not be on here regularly til I get a new comp.

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KittehStar
DeaconPhenix
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63219463

Chapter 1: The End of the World Will Begin in New Jersey



        It was a quiet evening at Charlie's Diner, there being little noise other than the pitter-patter of rain on the windows and the Duke playing on the nickelodeon. Two broads sat over a shared piece of cherry pie, discussing the new looks of Lillian Gish and Clara Bow. They dreamed their dreams of stardom just like all the other hopeful foxes that came to this city, but this was the City of Lost and Forgotten Dreams, where optimism died and the dark side of society reigned. Perhaps no one knew that better than the old fellow that sat at the other side of the diner. He appeared to be thinking of old memories as he sat smoking his cigar, his eyes closed off from the rest of the world. He must have realized the folly of dredging up dead thoughts, so he opened his eyes and returned to reading his paper, rifling through the pages as if it was the same old song, day after day.

 

          It was neither the old broads nor the old pop that caught Vincent's eye, but the suit in the back corner of the diner. He was a young buck that sat with his back turned to everyone else. He had his trilby pulled down low on his head and there was a cigarette in his hand, although he tapped ash far more than he smoked. He was a man that made other men nervous and Vincent Spade didn't like being nervous. He kept a keen eye on the buck as he sipped at his joe, leaning back in his chair with one hand resting by his waistcoat pocket. Spade noticed that the suit had ordered nothing but a glass of water, as if he was only in the diner to kill time. Or maybe he is waiting for something....or someone, Vincent thought.

 

          The suit kept to his business and Vincent Spade kept to his own, although his green eyes were trained to the young man in the corner. The old fellow picked up and made his way to the john and still the suit remained motionless, his shoulders hunched up like he had a chill. Duke Ellington was replaced by Bessie Smith and when she was finished bluesing about the Gulf, George Gershwin came on and still Vincent and the young man waited.

 

          When the broads got up to leave, the suit jumped up and that's when Spade made his move. Charlie's had been quiet all night, but all that was over. Now there was going to be a clamor...and a dead man that had picked up the wrong diner to rob. As both men pulled their guns, the owner of the diner leaned over the counter and yelled, “Buchwald, get your head out of your ass! I need a rack of baby backs and a smokehouse on the double!”

 

          Ralph snapped back into reality, his daydream as the 1920's vigilante Vincent Spade disappearing as he looked over to his very angry manager. “Yes, M...Mr. Potter. Right away!” he called, jumping into action with reddening cheeks. Potter shook his head in a frustrated manner, walking away to attend to other idiotic matters that might need his attention. Ralph sighed as he began mixing a barbecue sauce. The quiet little diner known as Charlie's was gone; in its place was a chain restaurant that had no love lost for Ralph Buchwald. The classic songs by Duke Ellington and the other great 20's musicians were replaced by upbeat pop songs that held no more substance than the sauce he was making. The two broads and the old man were just figments of his imagination, although the young mobster had been fashioned after a kid that regularly ate at the restaurant when Ralph was working. Like the suit, the kid always asked for a corner booth where he ate, quiet and alone, as if he had something to hide. He was sure that the kid was just shy, but thinking that he was some gangster that Vincent Spade was hunting made it easier for Ralph to get through his day.

 

          Ralph laid ribs on the grill and went to the sink to wash his hands before starting the burger. He leaned out far over the pick-up counter, taking in a view of the restaurant patrons. As usual, his silent guest sat in a corner, dabbling with a plate of French fries. “Ah, so you managed to get away from me at Charlie’s, but don’t get too comfortable, my friend. Vincent Spade knows the game and has played it for years. I’ll catch you sooner or later.” He whispered to himself, concealing a smile as he went back to cooking.

 

 

 

          “So, how do you like New Jersey, Kyser? I remember you said you transferred credits from North Carolina.” Annabelle Hammersmith mentioned, sipping at her Cherry Coke as the two students waited for their food.

 

          Kyser Koslov took a swig from his beer before grimacing. “Steeple Hill is tiny, New Jersey is dirty, this American beer is terrible, but I’m having the time of my life!” he stated with a grin. “Carolina was boring and everyone looked at me funny back home, but I really think I fit in here. I’m how you say, just another “kook”?

 

          She giggled and said, “Well, if you’re a kook, then so am I. People can say we’re kooky, but I say we are just trendy.” Majoring in fashion, Annabelle sure hoped she was trendy or else she’d be in a rude awakening. Sure, some of the clothing projects she had designed in her classes had been ordained as “off-beat” and perhaps even “kooky” by some of her teachers, but she knew that her ideas weren’t so far-fetched that they would suit the Björks and Gagas of the world. She had aced every fashion course she had taken as well, so she felt just in claiming her trendiness.

 

          “I agree. Cheers to trendiness!” he declared as they clinked glasses. Kyser knew quite a bit about being labeled off-beat; he had been looked at as such for the nineteen years he had lived in his home country of Russia. At a young age, he had been fascinated by the dark stories that his culture told of vampires in the medieval ages. He had read all of the stories, watched all of the movies, and absorbed any bit of information he could of vampirism to a point of near obsession. This odd behavior resulted in odd treatment from his friends and family. Feeling like an outsider, the young Koslov jumped at the first opportunity to become an exchange student in the States and it was there that he found another dark enthusiasm that made vampires look like child’s play: zombies. With the same zeal that he had observed vampires for nineteen years, he spent the next five years participating in zombie walks, undead bar-hopping and writing fan fiction of the un-deceased online. He knew it was kooky, but he was quickly warming up to the idea of it being trendy.

 

          Their food arrived, a smokehouse burger for Anna and a rack of ribs for Kyser and as she deluged her French fries with ketchup, Anna asked, “so what do you think of this big exam coming up?”

 

          “I think that by the end of it, we will all die and become zombies, hungry for nothing but brains!” he responded enthusiastically, his mouth covered in barbecue sauce as he mimicked the movements of his favorite monster.

 

 

 

          The kid in the corner of the restaurant, known as “The Suit” by the fantastical Vincent Spade, was no mobster, but sometimes he wondered if his own dealings were that much different from the mafia. He had never worn a suit before in his life, but he was used to wearing a uniform and was highly uncomfortable in these street clothes. He didn’t tout a Tommy gun like the goons that Spade fought either, but he was armed so heavily that it would make a Don blush. Lastly, he was not part of any crime syndicate, but the organization that Marcus Benitez belonged sometimes had to delve into the dark crevices of life.

 

          He was only months released from Anvil Barricade Academy, although his sister and late father would have called it “graduated”. This graduation of his was a momentous occasion for the two remaining members of the Benitez family. For his sister, Lucy, who had taken over as Dean of the Academy when their father died, this was a chance to put her little brother to the test to bring glory to the Benitez name. For Marcus, being allowed on the streets for the first time in six years was his release from his always judging sister and the strict rules and regulations of Anvil. Sure, he still had a job to do, but now he had room to breathe, to experience things for himself instead of hearing about them from Lucy and his father. It was his chance to live.

 

          How ironic a statement that is, he thought, I get to live so others can die.

 

          There was a buzz in his pocket and he inconspicuously pulled out his phone, finding a new text message, coded so only he could understand it. “MD on the move. Final Approach: One Hour. No eyes surprise. For ABA.” So it was set then; he was to kill Madison Darby in an hour with a quiet strike and no witnesses, retrieving the disk of harmful information that she carried. He didn’t know who this woman was, but her file collected by Anvil reported that she was an underground revolutionary that sought to assassinate some of the higher district council members of Steeple Hill, New Jersey. Marcus had spent the last month in this god-awful town investigating Darby and had found nothing to support the claim of her anarchistic ways, but the orders had come down to be rid of her. He didn’t care whether she lived or died, but he was happy for the chance to end this charade and finish the job so he didn’t have to see this stupid restaurant and this stupid town ever again.

 

 

 

 

          What will you do when the world as you know it comes to an end, when the bloodthirsty hordes of undead rise from their graves and start devouring the human race? Will you have what it takes to survive? This is Zombocalypse, where your worst nightmares become reality. Now available in Four Player Co-Op!, she read with a disgusted face, flipping the cover of the video game over to reveal a picture of a zombie treating a human skull cavity like it was Fancy Feast cat food. “How repulsive,” Madeline Davis stated, looking squeamish and she looked over the game, “Bryce will love it.”

 

          Madeline took the video game to the front counter, thinking not of flesh-eating zombies and the end of the world, but of what she wanted to cook her boyfriend for his birthday dinner. He was turning the Big Two-Five and since he loved Italian, she was thinking of whipping up a chicken carbonara for dinner and lemon fillo Napoleons for dessert. She knew she would have to go to the market for pancetta for the carbonara and if she wanted good fillo, she would have to go down to the bakery on the other side of town. If she was making that trip, Madeline hoped Bryce was working a little later than usual or else she might not have everything finished in time for him when he got home.

 

          As these thoughts preoccupied her mind, Madeline walked out of the store, not noticing the hooded teenager step out of the restaurant she worked at across the street, nor the fact that he fell in line several yards behind her when she crossed the street.

 

          That’s the target. That’s Madison Darby. Maybe I’ll get lucky and she will need to take a shortcut down one of the alleys, Marcus thought, glancing momentarily at Madeline.

 

          Madeline Davis, who had no idea who Madison Darby was, was in a rush and she checked her watch, she realized that she wasn’t going to get to the good bakery in time if she didn’t hurry. She dipped down the first alley she saw and the hooded teen behind her pulled something out of his pocket, quickening his pace. It was showtime.

 

 

 

          Kadee looked up from the canvas and put a finger to her bottom lip, wondering how some of her works went from blank pieces of paper to finished products. Her current piece portrayed a chapel filled with glowing candles atop every surface; the altar, the pews, the rectory table, even the organ in the corner of the room was adorned with blotches of orange and yellow. Despite this overpowering display of light, the chapel room still appeared darkened, as if shadows were crawling forth from every crevice of the room. A priest stood at the altar, giving his sermon heedlessly, even though his congregation was absent from the picture. A closer look at the pews revealed that they were not actually devoid of all churchgoers however; a figure in a bright red hooded robe sat in the middle of the line of pews, although at first, its appearance was overlooked because of all the candles. Once the eye locked on to the solitary figure in the congregation, it became impossible to look away and it even became the centerpiece of the entire painting.

 

          What did it all mean though? She found that she had been asking herself this question a lot lately in concerns to her cryptic paintings. When everything went to hell last year, her paintings were dark and brooding, but she was unleashing all of her bottled up emotions onto the canvas. She understood the meaning behind those paintings, the need to vent though her work, but these last few projects had befuddled her. The first came a month ago when she painted a teenage girl on a chaotic background of every shade of blue she could mix. The girl’s eyes were dull and lifeless and a thin strand of blue liquid mixed with blood trickled down her chin. Kadee had titled the piece “L.B.” and still to this day couldn’t figure out why or what it meant. Who was the girl? Where had Kadee seen her and why did she paint her in this catatonic manner? What did L.B. stand for?

 

          The next Kadee painted a week ago and was equally as confusing as the last. The piece was centered on an intricate and beautiful butterfly that was bathed in a green light that could have been nothing other than a science fiction tractor beam. This beam of light emanated from an overly cartoonish flying saucer, which was in utter contrast to the stark realness of the butterfly. In an even odder twist, she had named the painting “Naïveté” which seemingly had nothing to do with its context.

 

          Now there was this gothic sermon delivered to the figure in the red robe. Kadee gazed down at it, finding that while she was lost in her wonderings, she had scrawled out “IT’S CLOSER THAN YOU THINK” and signed it with her usual KS. So that was what the chapel scene was called.

 

          Kadee took the canvas off the easel and set it aside on the bench, frustrated with herself for not understanding her own works. She looked at her surroundings, having been so absorbed in her work that she had not noticed that the sun had set over an hour ago. The park had taken on an unusually eerie appearance. Contrary to popular high school urban legend, she did not actually live in the park, but came here often to paint, staying as late as midnight and using the streetlights to do her work sometimes. Never once had she felt the hairs on her neck stand on edge as they did now and couldn’t imagine why she felt this way.

 

          “It’s closer than you think.” she murmured. Kadee said it again and then said it a third time. The girl could not make any sense of it, but the statement stuck with her for a long time.

 

 

 

          Four hundred and fifty miles southwest from Steeple Hill, New Jersey was an unmarked building in an undisclosed location in Virginia. The acres of land isolating this building from the rest of society was about the size of Steeple Hill, but was in an opposite spectrum as to activity. The small town in New Jersey was hosting a high school dance, a daydreaming chef caught up in the Roaring Twenties, an armed robbery in an alleyway, and a cult assembly in a cemetery, but the only business this Virginian building had was an old man sitting in front of a row of cameras. He had been in front of the cameras for twenty hours a day for the past three weeks, watching the digital screens with the same stoic face. Below the cameras were three lights, arranged in a green-red-green pattern, but the lights had not blinked since the very beginning of the assignment, when they were testing communications. A black telephone sat next to these lights, although it also had not rung since he had taken his seat almost a month ago. Set on the far side of the table was a white mug stained brown around the edges with the six cups of coffee a day he consumed at exact three hour intervals. Accompanied with every other cup, the man ate a tasteless pre-packaged meal, normally constructed of a spongy meat and stiff, bland vegetables. He had lost his taste for food after the first week and could no longer tell the difference between meatloaf and cherry pie.

 

          The cameras were arranged in three rows of four and each row was marked with a location. The top row was the four cameras monitoring a building called “F-Dare 1” and these were focused on what appeared to be a laboratory. There was very little to see from the lab as technicians milled around telescopes and centrifuges for twelve to sixteen hours a day. The second row was labeled “F-Dare 2” and seemed to be in an entirely different building. F-Dare 2 showed a training ground in the first two cameras and a gym in the last two and ran for twenty hours a day. This row was moderately interesting to watch as they showcased people intensely training their bodies until they were able to pull off stunning feats. The old man watched a gymnast climb a fifteen foot wall with no use of a rope, a bodybuilder bench press well over a thousand pounds, and several other displays of remarkable physique.

 

          The cameras in the row titled “F-Dare 3” were all blacked out for the time being. The purposes for any of these cameras and their locations were Top Secret well above his level and he didn’t mind in the least bit. He was told to watch the cameras and so he did. If something happened that required his attention, one of the three lights would turn on and he was to expect a phone call. It had been three weeks and nothing had happened so far. He didn’t mind the inactivity; he was taught as a child that good things came to those that waited. So he would wait just as he waited patiently for each of his promotions through the ranks, doing his due diligence to earn his keep in the organization. Little did he know, his waiting had come to an end…and there was no going back.

 

          He jolted upright as the far right green light began blinking and almost immediately, the black phone rang. He gazed at the phone as if he didn’t even know it had been there the whole time, the noise of its ring being the only noise he had heard in three weeks. He quickly recovered from his shock and picked up the phone, saying, “Manheim here.”

 

          “NRG Synchronization a success. MET a success. Physical Training complete. When the professor calls you, give her this information and we will begin Phase Three.” a voice spoke mechanically over the line. Manheim did not know what any of that meant, but he responded with, “I understand” and the line clicked dead and he hung up the phone. Before the alertness of the phone call could even wear off, the far left green light blinked and the phone rang again. He picked up the phone to the sound of a familiar voice.

 

          “The neutralizers are complete, Sam. I assume F-Dare 2 is finished with their tests?” a female questioned him. This was the voice of the “professor”, Geneva Carson by name. Samuel Manheim had worked with Genny several times before as their separate branches of the organization had coordinated functions on the same projects. The two had become more than just acquaintances and Genny was the closest thing that Manheim could get to calling a friend in the organization.

 

          He repeated what he heard from F-Dare 2 to her and Genny sighed. “I’m sorry that you have had to go through all of this, Sam. It must have been difficult being locked away in that room for so long.” she stated.

 

          “All part of the job, Genny. I’ll be glad to get out of here but I’m assuming that this “Phase Three” will be postponing that for some time?” he asked her.

 

          “It shouldn’t be more than another three days. Like I said before, you are the only person I could trust to do this, but I am sorry. This is a big step for us though, Sam. This could be the next piece of human adaptation.” Professor Carson explained.

 

          “Is there anything else you need from me?” he asked her, sipping his coffee.

 

          “F-Dare 3 will be turning on for you in a couple of minutes. Keep a good watch on it and make sure nothing goes wrong. If you see anything that looks even slightly out of order, punch the code into the phone and we’ll shut it down.” Geneva declared. “We will now begin Integration. I’m going to expect a drink with you once all of this is over.”

 

          Sam hung up the phone and five minutes later, the row of cameras titled “F-Dare 3” came on, showing a massive room filled with people. None of the occupants seemed to be much interested in anyone else, standing with their arms at their sides and their heads tilted down. He began what he thought would be another long observation, but less than a minute later, blips came across all four cameras. Although there was nothing he could see that would be causing this, it appeared as if the cameras were being violently shaken and moments later all four went dead, idling to black screens. As soon as this happened, the red light in the center began blinking rapidly.

 

          Manheim picked up the phone frantically, punching in the digits for the shutdown code. What the hell happened?, he wondered, waiting for a response on the other line. He received nothing. “What does that mean?” he asked aloud, sweat breaking out on his brow. He waited a few moments longer but the line remained dead and he hung up, picking it up and dialing the number again. Nothing.

 

          “What is going on in F-Dare 3?!” he screamed.

 

 

 

 

 

dona eis requiem

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DeaconPhenix
Posts: 4,612
Registered: ‎04-04-2008
0

Re: Alone With the Revenant

[ Edited ]

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63496917

So, a quick couple of questions for everyone. How does the font and color look? For some reason, when I copied/pasted it wouldn't let me use my original scheme like I did in the prologue so I had to adjust it a little bit. Is it readable in Courier and in orange? If not, any suggestions to what would look aesthetically pleasing would be greatly appreciated.

 

@Hikky: how's my lingo/colloquial for the 20's stuff? I'm not used to the noir-style but I've been interested in trying it out.

 

@Cid: I hope it was cool that I changed the "fashion college" that Anna was attending into a regular community college that offered fashion courses. I needed a way to tie Anna and Kyser together since they were both students and I didn't see him as much of a fashion outre.

 

@McDavey: I put a slight adjustment to the enthusiast history. I felt that him being from Russia, especially if it was Western Russia, that he would have been into vampires and that America would have given Kyser the liking for zombies.

 

@JQ: I didn't kow entirely what you meant by "Retrieval Agent", but did I come close to what you imagined for Marcus?

 

@tx: I altered her drawing skills into painting skills. It lent more to the scene, but if you were deadset on her drawing, I could limit her painting in the future and just focus on sketches.

 

@Angel: Does the carbonara and fillo meal kinda fit in with the fact that Madeline is more than just a Chili's cook? Also, I probably won't mention outright anywhere that Madeline and Ralph work at a Chili's. It'll just get the "chain restaurant" tag although I did hint at it with the baby rack ribs.

 

 

Also, if I was to give this story an opening theme like it was a show, I would definitely go with this sans lyrics.

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GothicLolitaKitty
cidthekittyisfun
Posts: 56,491
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63497185

oh yeah thats cool. did i ever reply to ur PM u sent awhile ago and told u its okeh? anywhoo yeah i dun care wut u do with my char.

anywhoo i jus saw this bit about u askn ima go and start reading ur story and come back to comment <3

btw font looks fine.


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MasterKitteh
DangerHikky
Posts: 13,315
Registered: ‎01-06-2007
0

Re: Alone With the Revenant

[ Edited ]

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63496917

Hehehehe oh my god. I really love the way you wrote this. Real sort of pulp detective novel feel to it.

Really good. gosh. The slang's really good too!!!

jhdfashghdfbnsadfg I'm sorry I can't be eloquent at all right now I just really love this gosh wow whoa.

 

Hehehe, I love the Russian guy. :smileyvery-happy: Wow they're adorable.

I love them geez. Everyone is adorable and I love them.

I'm not sure I totally understand what exactly Marcus's academy was but it sounds pretty cool.

 

Oh no, is he gonna kill Madeline? Did he mix up his targets or...??

I wonder if Kadee is one of those people who paints visions. :0 Either that or she just likes brooding stuff and isn't sure why.

 

I really love how you describe the place (I said church originally idk why probably because of "Steeple" and being half asleep whoops) too, you're a really good writer!! This scene sorta gives me the creeps, seems like something's going on there and I don't know if I like it.... Ok yes, something is DEFINITELY up and I am DEFINITELY not supposed to like it.

 

Ahhh this was really good I can't wait for the next one!!!

 

 

I got no idea. But what I got is a G.E.D. and a "give 'em hell" attitude and I'll figure it out.


Critcker | Last.fm |


GothicLolitaKitty
cidthekittyisfun
Posts: 56,491
Registered: ‎06-19-2006
0

Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63496917

ohhay! for once i read something when i said i was GO ME.

anyways! overall i LOVE the pacing of this story! it starts out normal, you intro the chars, you know something is gonna go down eventually but you dunno when, how, etc....everything seems so normal yet i get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach! and then BAM it hits the fan and all hell breaks loose and thats where you end ch.1 so brilliant! i love your writing i srsly wish i could write like you...or at least better then i do now >_< teach meh decon sensei <3

well i loved the prologue and how you did the ol bait and switch :smileyvery-happy: you rly caputred HS girls well it seems like something theyd say and how theyd over reaction. i love how in chap1 you set it up as if im watching a 1920s mob scene only to find out its a daydream of some chillis cook :smileyvery-happy: so great job on that! i loved how we got introed to a buncha chars and how theyll prolly be connected but idk how!

and im curious about how the livestock is dying off, and this F3 something or other! sure alotta things make you wonder wut gonna cause the zombies, well keep it up this is a rly intriguing story i defz wanna read more <3 also i like my char. shes totz gonna design lady gagas clothes :smileyvery-happy:


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KittehStar
DeaconPhenix
Posts: 4,612
Registered: ‎04-04-2008
0

Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DangerHikky - Message ID#: 63503139


DangerHikky wrote:

Hehehehe oh my god. I really love the way you wrote this. Real sort of pulp detective novel feel to it.

Really good. gosh. The slang's really good too!!!

jhdfashghdfbnsadfg I'm sorry I can't be eloquent at all right now I just really love this gosh wow whoa.

 

 

I am so so so glad you liked the 20's stuff. I was worried I didn't have the tone quite right in Vincent's little intro scene.


 

 



Thanks for the awesome review Hikky. I still haven't gotten any progress with the broken comp so it might be a little bit til a new chapter is up, but I'm really glad you liked it!

Bleach FF: Arc 1: The Battle of Four Dragons Arc 2: Eternal Tomorrow Arc 3: Destiny Exiled




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KittehStar
DeaconPhenix
Posts: 4,612
Registered: ‎04-04-2008
0

Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to cidthekittyisfun - Message ID#: 63505859


cidthekittyisfun wrote:

well i loved the prologue and how you did the ol bait and switch :smileyvery-happy: you rly caputred HS girls well it seems like something theyd say and how theyd over reaction. i love how in chap1 you set it up as if im watching a 1920s mob scene only to find out its a daydream of some chillis cook :smileyvery-happy: so great job on that! i loved how we got introed to a buncha chars and how theyll prolly be connected but idk how!




I was really worried that I had the wrong "voice" for Addy since I've never really written anything too slice of life, especially in the high school range, but it's encouraging to see that you felt it worked. What's going to be really funny in Chapter 2 is how you think there should be an obvious connection between two of the characters but it turns out that they don't even know each other. Anway, I'm really happy you liked the first chapter and maybe when we're both not too busy with other projects, we can collaborate on something someday.

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DeaconPhenix
Posts: 4,612
Registered: ‎04-04-2008

Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63219463

So I have a temporary fix. I'm running on an old ass computer I had sitting in the attic. I was completely surprised that it even booted up properly and it runs like crap but its something for now. Look forward to some more action in this thread.

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DeaconPhenix
Posts: 4,612
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63614445

Just checking in. Computer problems still so I'm not sure when I'll be able to post anything. Its really frustrating since this thing just got under way, but I'm trying to work around it, so I'm going to cut the chapters down into much smaller pieces so that I can get atleast something out to you guys. In an ideal world, I could say that I'd have Chapter 2 ready for next weekend but I can't promise anything. Sorry about the inconvenience.

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DeaconPhenix
Posts: 4,612
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63919809

I'm going to get Part 1 of Chapter 2 posted so there's at least something out. I might have to just to break all the chapters down to keep some sort of continuous posts.

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DeaconPhenix
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 64413071

Chapter 2: Something Ain’t Quite Right Here

 

 

Ted Frey turned on the spotlights he had rigged up on posts, casting stark light upon his devastated farm. The last of the sunlight disappeared below the horizon and darkness fully encapsulated the land, casting eerie shadows upon the carcasses littered across the fields. He had his boys set up the lights in the event that the vet still made it out, but it was nice even having a fellow farmer like Bill Tullahenny out to see the travesty that had occurred earlier in the evening. In his old age, not much got to the elder Frey, but seeing all of his livestock collapse all at once gave his heart a leap worse than when he saw his boy Sonny fall out of a tree and bust his arm a few years back. Of course, Sonny had recovered and was out with his pals climbing trees and swinging from tire swings in not time, but this… this was not salvageable. The pigs and sheep alone were going to cost over twenty grand and he couldn’t replace the cattle if he worked for five years in a row without a dime for himself. This farm, the same farm that Reginald Frey had bought one hundred and fifty years ago, was going up in smoke faster than a wildfire.


Ted watched as the much younger Billy Tullahenny crouched over one of the sheep, scrutinizing it as if he would be able to determine why the sudden mass death had occurred. Bill kept a kerchief up to his face as the bodies were already beginning to smell, a cross between revulsion and horror in his eyes. Knowing that the young man wasn’t going to glean any information that Frey didn’t already know, Ted tried to lighten the mood, leaning over and asking in his best Bugs Bunny voice, “what’s up Doc?”


“I figured if anyone would, you’d know it was no time for joking, old timer.” Billy stated.

“Listen boy, my business just went belly up, so if I’m not keeping some sort of humor, I’m apt to put a shotgun barrel in my mouth.” Frey shot back solemnly, drawing back from Tullahenny and lighting a smoke.


“Yeah, you’re right Ted. I’m sorry.” Tullahenny responded. He hurriedly got back to the original topic, exclaiming, “I did find something odd though. The stomachs in both the sheep and pigs were rock solid, like they’d been eating concrete or something. What’re you feeding them?”


Frey’s face screwed up as he shouted, “the same feed and slops you are, Bill! What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”


“That’s the problem. All of my livestock are sick. If it’s something in the food, I’m wondering if it’s a parasite.” Billy replied.


Ted calmed a bit, stating, “sorry, I didn’t know. What kind of parasite could do this though?”


“I don’t know, Ted, I ain’t no vet. I think we need to call the inspector and see if the markets have been dirty.” Billy spoke. He stared down at the dead sheep for a long time, pondering all the factors to this horrible situation. After a bit, he added, “that still doesn’t explain why they all died at the exact same time.”


“What’re the chances of that happening?” Frey asked.


“Astronomical. It’s practically impossible.”


The two farmers stared at each other, unable to formulate any reason for the sudden collapse of Ted’s livestock. After a moment, they heard a squelching sound coming from an unknown source. “Do you hear that, Bill? What the hell is that?” Ted asked.


“Sounds like someone’s walking through the mud. Maybe the vet’s here.” Billy got up and they both looked around in the dim light, utterly unable to determine the noise.


“No, it ain’t mud.” The old man defined it. “It sounds….it sounds like choking.”


“Holy shit!” Billy yelled as the dead sheep at his feet lurched upward, its head swinging up with a speed and angle unnatural to any animal, let alone the docile farm creature. The noise was coming from the sheep and it tried to baa, but all that came out was a gargled gasp. It lunged at Tullahenny, trying to bite him, but he jumped backwards, screaming, “I thought you said these things were dead!”


“It was dead, Bill! Come on, you looked at it yourself!” Frey hollered back.


“Then what is it doing walking around?!”


“Parasite must be messing with their brains.” Ted concluded rather irrationally as he watched the sheep lurch toward Billy as if all of its legs were broken. It made another attempt to attack Billy, but the young man kept back out of its reach. Unfortunately, he stumbled and tripped backwards, falling to the ground, and the sheep shambled after him.


“Shit.” Ted said, scrambling back to get his shotgun. “Gotta put the damn thing back down.”


“Hurry up, Ted!” Billy screamed as the sheep lunged at him once more, prepared to remove a healthy portion of his leg. Before it reached him, a shotgun blast ripped through the air and the animal dropped to the ground in a splatter in of its own blood.


The two looked at each other and Billy yelled, “what the hell just happened?!”


“I don’t know.” Ted replied in a daze, obviously shaken by it all. “Why don’tcha come up to the house and we’ll wait in case the doctor shows up.”


“Y-y-yeah sure.” Billy stated. They waited for another hour, refusing to talk about the sheep. They drank beer and chewed tobacco and played cards in silence instead, their minds unable to cope with seeing a dead animal get back on its feet with a seemingly bloodthirsty hunger. When it became apparent that the veterinarian was not going to show, Billy left the Frey farm, hoping that a good night of sleep would put his mind to rest. By the time he got home, all of Billy’s livestock were dead as well. Little did he know, so was Ted Frey.

 

 

Dona eis requiem

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McDavey
Posts: 4,375
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 63496917

“Steeple Hill is tiny, New Jersey is dirty, this American beer is terrible, but I’m having the time of my life!” The off beat kind of guy I was more or less thinking about. cool. I am trying to catch up on your stuff Deacon. That Kadee  seems to have some kind of physcic abilty it would seem to me. I am also wondering if the F-Dare 3 is the epicenter of the the zombieapocalypse. More commetns to follow as I get more time to read.

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DeaconPhenix
Posts: 4,612
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to McDavey - Message ID#: 64740569

As much as I hate to say this, this story is already becoming way too much of a struggle to continue in its current state. I'm sorry for everyone that put the hard work into creating characters for it, but I think this project is officially scratched.

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Grumpy Cat
JQuest15
Posts: 28,671
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 64776263

No worries Deac, Im ok with it if you can't continue. Tis a shame since it does have promise but that happens more than you know.

 

You can't do it, then you can't do it.

 

Still it was fun while it lasted =)

KittehStar
McDavey
Posts: 4,375
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 64776263

I can live with that. if you keep doing your bleach story I won't complain :smileyhappy:

GothicLolitaKitty
cidthekittyisfun
Posts: 56,491
Registered: ‎06-19-2006
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Re: Alone With the Revenant

Reply to DeaconPhenix - Message ID#: 64776263

awww thats too bad :smileysad:
still its ok i mean i understand, its hard to rly complete a project!
id still like to read more of your work,
maybe u can do a one shot zombie story or something.
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