Dear Sweetheart Onee-sama of my Entire Life,
I can't believe that we are finally getting married. I dreamed of this moment so long as I held you down with my kisses upon your twisting body, tasting the sweat under your breasts as your chest heaved up and down as you screamed. God, I love the way your voice sounds when you cry out my name! It feels like a thousand angels nesting in my ears and eating my brains away to the point where I just must take you with your implied consent!
But do you remember how we met? Neither do I. It's like you just dropped out of Heaven into my lap and then straddled my lap and told me that you wanted me to finger-blast you into oblivion, but I said NO!
No, I want you with me forever. I want to know every inch of you right up through your colon like hot butter, your small intestine like the sweetest mochi in my lips, your large intestine where I want to give you babies, and your ovaries where I want to give you my lemon syrup.
You always did play hard-to-get: running away from me, screaming when I jumped on you, hiding and fainting in fear that I would be behind you with some sort of binding object. But I would never hurt you, babe. GOD, I LOVE YOU!
I love your chest, the perfect size for my mouth that I want those cherries on my uvula!
I love your legs, wrapped around me as you choke my throat with those honey-sweet thighs!
I love your hair, up or down or pulled back as I kiss you in the bath!
Oh, I love it when we're in the bath. Sometimes you don't know, but I make you know. I want you to know that you'll be my waifu. I will dote on you, smote all those who come onto you, give rote eulogies at their funerals. Our love is the greatest love of all, and I will murder all of your friends to prove it. What a bunch of ####gots.
Look into my eyes, and you will see that I have one tooth, and it's dedicated to biting you with my love-bite. I want to infect your insides with my dirty girl-bits, and when you are filled with my gummy jungle-sauce, I will give you my hungy-butt to smoke.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I FINALLY HAVE YOU! I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO! I WILL HOLD YOU UNTIL WE DIE AND OUR SKELETONS FUSE TOGETHER INTO A SINGLE CORPSE AND HEAVEN WILL BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR BEAUTY!
So please, put down the gun and get out of that closet. I don't want to ruin our wedding dresses in a passionate display of spousal aggression.
I could eat you up, up, and out to space, I love you so.
Love, Mrs. Minami Shimada a.k.a. your sweet ####-dump Miharu
Your dog's condition has been upgraded from stable to frisky.
AdultSwim.com is part of Turner Entertainment Digital which is part of the Turner Sports & Entertainment Digital Network.
