Creative Works

[mercenaryninja94]

if people like it then it could become a weekly series

enjoy

Chapter 1

Stranger

At

The door

It had been a quiet day at the inoue house. Aside from a couple weak hollows things were relatively calm. Tenth squad captain toshiro Hitsugaya and his lieutenant rangiku matsumoto were at home relaxing .it was raining hard, suddenly a clap of thunder erupted and the lights went out. Toshiro could hear someone at the door ‘don’t look at me rangiku said you’re the one who’s standing up’ fine ill get it Hitsugaya growled.  He opened the door there was a man standing there he was tall and had small rectangle shaped  glasses, his hair was black and cut short, his upper lip and chin had stubble on it and his eyes were a deep green, the shinigami uniform he wore was torn to shreds plus was barley couscous and bleeding from his shoulder and right arm. Before he passed out he managed to utter a single word help. Rangiku and Hitsugaya brought him in and treated his wounds as best as they could. They called orihime over from tatsuki's house as soon as the power was back on. It was odd Hitsugaya thought there were no notifications from the soul society about back up. Never the less there was no doubt in his mind that this man was a soul reaper. The next day he called over ichigo and his friends. They all gathered around the strange man who was still lying there.

 He only had these items on him Hitsugaya explained on the table in front of them there was a Zanpakutō, a usp 45 handgun  some extra clips and a strange looking phone that they could not figure out how to turn on.  Uryū looked at the man have you called the soul society yet he asked I did hitsugaya replied  but they could not find any record of a man of his description within the court guard squads also his wounds were consistent with a point blank cero attack, well ichigo added standing around here isn’t gonna solve anything ill go talk with kisuke and see what he thinks about this he flash stepped out of the apartment.  As ichigo arrived at urahara’s shop he couldn’t help but wonder why the spiritual pressure in the room felt different from any that he had encountered before plus the fact that a soul reaper would carry a gun was just not right. As he entered the shop he saw tessai behind the counter oh hello again young soul reaper he greeted if you are looking for urahara he is in the back ill tell him you are here to see him. Ichigo thanked him and went to the back he sat down and waited for urahara to show up hey there ichigo what can I do for you today. Ichigo handed the strange phone to him and explained the situation. I see, well it just so happens that around that time my sensors picked up two massive spikes in spiritual pressure at around the same time. I thought it might be a glitch since the pressure didn’t match an arrancar’s or a hollow’s.  Thanks for stopping by ill be sure to take a look at him later tonight. With that ichigo left he just hoped that urahara could find out who this guy was.

[studster1011]

sounds like regular bleach filler. But in any case it was moderately alright. There was a few spelling errors and a few grammatical slip ups. But overall it was pretty much worth reading.

[mercenaryninja94]

trust me once i get to the main plot things get more interesting

[MegaNaraku]

Your not to bad. I enjoyed reading that. There was only a few grammatical errors. But  thats it. 

You can check out some of my Fanfics as well. 

[mercenaryninja94]

if enough people like it then ill upload the next chapter either later tonight 

or tommorow

[MegaNaraku]

I see. Alrighty then

[mercenaryninja94]

this chapter is a bit short but it adds alot 

enjoy

Chapter 2

The stranger

Awakens

The room he was in was dark. Slowly he opened his eyes. The stranger could move but it hurt. He shifted his eyes left and right trying to figure out where he was. To his left was the door it was slightly cracked open he could hear people talking on the other side. On the right his Zanpakutō was leaning against the wall next to it was an open window where moonlight shone through. As he got out of his bed he knocked over a lamp and suddenly the lights came on. Hey he’s awake someone yelled panicking the Stranger held his weapon ready to defend himself. Where am I he yelled?  Calm down one of the people said. The stranger recognized him it was kisuke urahara the man who ran the shop in the world of the living. When rangiku stepped in the room he looked at her ‘’rangiku thank god what happened where’s hitomi?’’ Rangiku just stared at him she didn’t know who this hitomi person was ‘’Come on quit playing with me you should know her’’ the stranger practically yelled. Hitsugaya looked at him ‘’I’m afraid we don’t know who this hitomi person is now who are you’’? The stranger looked around desperately he suddenly flash stepped out of the apartment.  Hitsugaya quickly followed the both of them were above Tsubakidai park’’ I’m only going to ask you one more time who are you’’ Hitsugaya demanded, why don’t you recognize me the stranger asked, wrong answer Hitsugaya said backing away ‘’reign over the frosted heavens....hyōrinmaru’’ ‘’fine then the stranger said have it your way’’. He held up his Zanpakutō ‘’the passion that lights the sun the fire that forged this blade BURN…. HOSHIRYU’’ suddenly fire overtook his sword and then his arm. Hitsugaya felt the spiritual pressure spike. They lunged at each other. The battle had begun.   

[mercenaryninja94]

yes but is it better than the bounts???

[studster1011]

Bounts?

Also Chapter 2 was interesting.

[mercenaryninja94]

here is the next chapter 

enjoy

Chapter 3

The

Stranger

Fights

Back

Hitsugaya dodged the stranger’s first attack. It was a line of fire that looked like it could melt solid steel. The stranger’s shikai was powerful Hitsugaya knew he had to be careful one hit and his bankai could be disabled. They lunged at each other and briefly made eye contact. Below them ichigo, his friends, kisuke, and rangiku were watching. Kisuke noted that the spiritual pressure in the area was rising. Ichigo wanted to intervene but kisuke explained that the battle would end in a draw since both of them were at an equal level of power. The stranger sidestepped that last attack was powerful he thought to himself I need to disable him quickly. Hitsugaya attacked him again and then backed away. They were both staring each other down neither one wanted to back out now they lunged at each other one final time. Suddenly they heard a voice cry out Bakudō number 81 Dankū a wall of energy stood between them kisuke urahara appeared ‘’why don’t we settle things in a more civilized manner he said’’. Reluctantly both of them put away their swords. Follow me kisuke directed. They arrived at his shop with everyone else arriving shortly afterwards. They went to the back room and sat at a table tessai appeared and served some tea. Well the stranger said ‘’I guess I should start with my name I’m Javier Flores third seat of squad ten’’ ‘’Wait a minute rangiku interrupted our third seat was killed in the first battle against lord aizen’’, well in case you’re wondering I’m not a hollow or an arrancar Javier said ‘’how do you know’’ ichigo told him, if I were an arrancar the I would have killed you the moment I woke up. So Hitsugaya asked ‘’who is hitomi person you keep mentioning’’ Javier turned to him ‘’don’t you remember toshiro she’s your daughter’’ the whole room fell silent. Why would captain Hitsugaya have a daughter? Who was the mother? Okay Javier said ill start from the beginning.

[studster1011]

Alright now you have me wanting to read the rest haha

[mercenaryninja94]

trust me the stanger's story is great 

i've already written up to chapter 6

[mercenaryninja94]

you know what if i get at least two positive responses within the next 48 hours

ill post the next chapter

enjoy 

Chapter 4

Javier’s story

I joined the thirteen court guard squads as soon as I was old enough. I wanted to make a difference in the life of each soul that came through. By my fifth year I was the top student in most of my classes. The first time I met captain Hitsugaya it was during a training exercise. We took a trip into an abandoned town in the world of the living. They had released hollows for us to practice on… I was one of the four that survived. He saved my life that night and from that day on I devoted myself to finishing my training. At about the same time the captain and rangiku were being seen with a baby frequently. The official story was that she had been abandoned in a box of new uniforms and the captain had been chosen to take care of her by the head of the court guard squads Hitsugaya called her hitomi. Some say that she had been taken in because of the fact that she had great spiritual energy when they had found her. When I finally did graduate I applied for a position in squad ten, I figured I needed to repay captain Hitsugaya for what he did for me. For my first year I was a regular soldier until the former third seat went to the world of the living and didn’t come back. The rumor was that he had gone insane after trying to take on a hollow that went by the name of Grand Fisher. I was personally invited to become the third seat by the captain himself. For some time things were going great. Then the traitor revealed himself.

A serious look began to form on Javier’s face. We trusted him… all of us. The most shocking part was that no one saw it coming. From the very beginning he used us like pawns in some kind of game. he spoke one word softly but filled with rage…Aizen. How could he just betray us like that none of us were prepared but all of us suffered. Soon he started to launch covert attacks against the soul society. By this time hitomi was four years old. He looked like he was going to break down and cry but he quickly regained his form. I guess I should tell you guys what that phone looking thing is, some months ago the department of research and development approached me with a new device it was a way to travel from the world of the living to the soul society without the use of a senkaimon. The only catch was that it operated on spiritual energy.  They also issued me an experimental weapon that could fire kido bullets. About two days ago the captain and rangiku were out on patrol. I was stuck doing paperwork when a hell butterfly appeared. The orders were to go and protect the west gate from some arrancars that got through. When I arrived the captain was busy fighting one that called himself   Nnoitora Gilga. Rangiku was stuck fighting some hollows that he had brought with him. Hitomi had been in the area when the attack had begun. I rushed over to see if I could do anything. The captain only gave me one order that day to get hitomi to safety and to protect her at all costs. I had forgotten that I had the device with me at the time. Hitomi was scared I could see it in her eyes I picked her up and tried to get her out of there but an arrancar by the name of szayel aporro appeared in front of me. I used my Zanpakutō to block his cero but it wasn’t enough he had hit me and hitomi point blank. The only thing I remember from that point on is hitomi holding on to my hand and then the feeling of her letting go. 

[studster1011]

**beast** your cliffhanger chapter endings. More i need More!

[mercenaryninja94]

remember if i get one more positive response within the next 48 hours i'll post the next chapter so spread the word

[studster1011]

but i hate advertising

[mercenaryninja94]

as long as people know about this and comment i'll keep writing

[DeaconPhenix]

The storyline sounds really promising, but you really have to work on punctuation, paragraph breaks, and run-on sentences/fragmented sentences. It's makes it really difficult to read it as it is. Other than that, you have a good intrigue going. I wonder why Javier remembers stuff that Hitsugaya and Matsumoto don't.

Anyway, if you need an example of some of the grammar things I was talking about or feel like a good read of a fellow writer's Bleach story, click the "Battle of Four Dragons" link in my signature.

[mercenaryninja94]

if people keep spreading the word then i'll keep posting so go around and tell people

[studster1011]

That's 2 positive comments now where's chapter 5?

[mercenaryninja94]

if i post all of the chapters in one night then i'll run out of material quickly

if you want to know then the next chapter will be up tomorrow afternoon at 3:00 central time

[jman9227]

holding out on us 

[mercenaryninja94]

trust me it's worth the wait

[mercenaryninja94]

well here it is 

i don't have much to say about this one 

so enjoy

Chapter 5

The search

For

Hitomi

Begins

''I'll understand if you don't believe me'' Javier said ''I have to go find hitomi now'' as soon as he got up the pain had come back ‘‘hold on orihime said you're not strong enough to leave yet stay here and rest we'll go and find her for you'' ''thanks but no thanks'' Javier replied at that moment he began to cough up blood, Fine you win I’ll stay here but promise me that you are going to find her’’ orihime looked into his eyes ‘’I promise she said’’ .  Do you have a description or maybe even a photo kisuke asked unfortunately no I don't but if you give me something to write with I can make a rough sketch. Ririn came in and handed Javier a sketch pad and some pencils he began to form a portrait the girl was small and had long blue hair and brown eyes , she looked like she was about five years old, ''hey kisuke’’ ichigo said didn't you tell me that you detected two spikes in spiritual pressure at about the same time that he arrived'' ‘’right again ichigo’’ kisuke said bringing in a map. He set it down on the table so everybody could see. Alright he said the first spike was detected right around here he pointed at the area around orihime's apartment the second spike was detected only one minute later near here he pointed towards Yumisawa Children's Park ‘’oh great’’ Javier sighed ‘’at this point she could be anywhere so our best bet is to split up and search the town in pairs’’ yoruichi and ichigo you search the area where the second spike was originally detected hold on Hitsugaya interrupted ‘’since when do you give the orders’’ if I recall what you said earlier you are only a third seat’’ that’s true Javier replied ‘’but you gave me the order to protect her not as a superior officer but as a trusted friend and when a friend gives me an order rank means nothing to me’’ fine carry on Hitsugaya  growled okay Javier continued orihime and rukia head for the shopping district Chad and Uryū head for this area he ordered pointing toward Karakura High School, rangiku and Hitsugaya I want you to search the area around Karakura Community Park,  does everyone understand, they nodded good one more thing try and remember that she’s only five and she’s never been to the world of the living before. She is alone, scared and possibly injured bring her back safely, I’ll stay here with kisuke and see if we can repair the device together. The next morning they would begin the search.  Javier just hoped she was okay. He didn’t want a repeat of the midnight incident. 

[studster1011]

moar please.