I hope you'll forgive me for resurrecting a dead thread. I only discovered this show about a month and a half ago, so I'm arriving late to the conversation.
I think the perfect Chuck Norris guest episode would go as follows:
Thought to be the only witness to a major crime that he didn't actually witness, a nerdy recluse (played by Chuck Norris) is brought to a safe house by the marshalls under 24 hour watch. Several innocent people are killed in the name of protecting the helpless 'witness' (as an example, the neighborhood paperboy is shot in the face when he reaches into his paperbag while delivering on his route. The score could totally sell this scene).
But the tables are turned when the 'helpless witness' reveals his true identity - Chuck Norris. Ideally he would do so by making a very minor change, like taking off a fake beard to reveal an identical actual beard.
A very brief fight ensues, and in the end Norris is taken out with the 'Death Punch'. At which point Monsanto quips something like "When will these movie stars learn that they can't hang with a REAL ACTION HERO. OK - let's do the usual thing and tell the media it was an overdose."
Then he adds a framed picture of Norris to the 'Wall of Vanquished Celebrities'. Other pictures on the wall should include Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, Gary Coleman, Rick James, Layne Staley, Caylee Anthony... you get the idea. Add in some smash cuts of each of these people being exploded by the death punch.
OK... so that's probably not all that funny. I guess that's why I'm not a writer. My point is, the funniest possible payoff of a Chuck Norris guest spot is Chuck getting vaporized with a death punch after spending 10 minutes playing the helpless mark. It plays completely against type, briefly returns to type, and then abruptly concludes against type.
Also, since it's kind of a ranger vs marshall scenario, maybe Travis Hunt could show up and say "Nice, Bro", to take us to the credits.
It's real. It's so real. It's f**king beautiful.
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