Re: Favorite Fam.Guy Quotes

R.I.P.goatboylove · ‎09-16-2003

In episode where Chris has the big memeber. Peter joins the NGA(national gun association) and he and Lois watch a NGA film about guns. Man at the end says "Remember, guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do." Man that's funny.

R.I.P.thatstoobad · ‎07-18-2003

there's too many great lines to even consider them all, but this one sticks out in my mind.

stewie: "i rather like this god fellow. he’s very theatrical, you know. a pestilence here and a plague there. omnipotence, got to get me some of that."

R.I.P.InFlames0 · ‎09-07-2003

Man in airport: Aren't you a little young to be flying alone?
Stewie: Arn't you a little old to be wearing braces!

I love that one.

Brian:where are the bags?
Stewie: there right here..(relizing the bags are gone) Rubert I told you to watch the bags. You you were watching the boys agian weren't you. It that steward, the one that looks like Tad Hunter!

any time Joe screams "Bring it on"

R.I.P.josh2003 · ‎09-14-2003

vfvdsbfcghdbcjndsnvc fdbfsvyfvbybvfdybvyfvbfyvbfybvfybvfyvbskvsbvysfffffffffffjjjjjj

R.I.P.jujybo · ‎08-14-2003

Peter: Wow, it's like i died and went to heaven, but then they realized that it wasn't my time yet and sent me to a brewery.

R.I.P.InFlames0 · ‎09-07-2003

i don't remeber that one. huh?

R.I.P.InFlames0 · ‎09-07-2003

NOOOOOOOOOOOO, silly rabbit trix are for kids. Dam long ears trying to takes Easter away from J.E.S.U.S.

Edited 9/16/2003 6:12:14 PM ET by InFlames0

R.I.P.hjookp · ‎08-11-2003

brian(drunk)- HAhah looks like you brought some breasts for us!

or something like that

R.I.P.EinsAcolyte · ‎08-14-2003

theres a few

____________________________________________________________
Da Boom
Lois: You ate a year's worth of food
Peter: ill say im still hungry (drinks the water and gets huge) every1 leave i have to poop...NOW!
___________________________________________________________
Some guy: SHOW ME POTATO SALAD
___________________________________________________________
ya this one i cant remember the episode its on the first volume dvd set but its when they go thro and talk about the countries and then the more u know thing flies over their head then peters like
Peter: ya nothing like them stinking canadians.......................What?........Canada S Ux

R.I.P.pinkrocker18 · ‎09-02-2003

stewie- its not that i want to kill louis its just that i don't want her to exist.
_________________________________________

yesterdays episode (super griffins)

guy- your power is growing nails
meg- (scratches guy)
guy- owww is it bleeding. oh no its not, but owwww.
__________________________________________

(lil griffins)

quagmire- i feel like my #### is gonna drop
quagmire-oh speak of the devil no make that devils.
____________________________________________
(super griffins)

Peter- hi im britney spears can i go in
(peter goes inside)
peter-can i grab a beer. sits on the chair and groans
peter-oh ooo im out off shape.(spreads legs and slouches on the chair)
peter-i need some of your hair to fill up ......
justin-sure
(peter shaves the top of his hair)
justin- aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
peter -now give me a kiss justin
peter- haha now im ........
_______________________________________________
(super griffens)
justin- want some chocolite
one of the n sync members-no um ok. whoo whoo next stop to thighs.

R.I.P.SilverBow87 · ‎09-07-2003

in episode where all the adults are kids and they're running away from the haunted house:
tom: hey tina get used to men runningaway fromyou
tina: tom your so deep in the closet your finding christmas preasents

R.I.P.SOCOMSoldie1 · ‎08-01-2003

My favorite:

Adam West: millions of the tax payers dollars going into finding who keeps stealing my water!

Meg:*running down the street*

Adam:Wait, you know too much!! ...good thing she's only a figmant of my imagination.

R.I.P.EinsAcolyte · ‎08-14-2003

Peter: Hey Lois remember when i was the third hardy boy
Lois: Peter there was no third hardy boy
Peter: Just like there was no apocolypse... HE SHOOTS HE SCORES!!!

also from that episdoe

y...2k...What r u selling chicken or sex jelly?>

R.I.P.Frostmourne · ‎08-13-2003

"i didnt know her very well as a dog...but i did..as a cofee table"-stewie

R.I.P.Link13 · ‎09-05-2003

Sorry these two I just remembered.
____________________________________________________________
Brain: Hey Stewie! What do you want for lunch? (He finds a letter on the T.V)

Stewie's Letter

ear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie.
P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever.
P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.

Brain: Oh My God!

____________________________________________________________
*He sings it

Brian & Stewie: *You and I are, so awfully different, too awfully differnt, to ever be pals.*
Stewie: Do you want to go first.
Brian: Yeah i'll go, *your favorite hero is the Marquis De Sade.*
Stewie: Oh your one to talk, *you got a #### from Phylicia Rashad.*
Brian: Oh one time
Stewie: *I have a style flair, just look at my hip hair.*
Brian: Oh yeah thats quite a nice do there.
Stewie: Oh thanks
Brian: For me to poop on.
Stewie: What
Brian: Oh come on you look like Charlie Brown.
Stewie: Oh #### snoopy.
Brian & Stewie: *Theres not a whole lot that we got to agree on..*
Brian: *Cause I love the strains of a classical score.*
Stewie: *And I like that singer who looks like a ####.*
Brian: Ricky Martin
Stewie: Love him
Brian & Stewie: *Were too different to ever be pals...You and I are,(do, do, do) so awfully different,(do, do, do) too awfully differnt,(do, do, do) to ever be pals.*
Brian: Your heads as massive as a meteorite.*
Stewie: Oh very funny...*you have a weenie like a christmas tree light.*
Brian: *I bet money, you'll marry a honey, who's pretty and funny, and her name will be Ted.*
Stewie: Oh a gay joke.
Brian: I just work with what you give me.
Brian & Stewie: *You might think were in sync but we stink, as a duo..*
Brian: *Cause you get a kick out of carnege and guts.*
Stewie: *And you get a kick out of stroking your...*
Brian: Whoa whoa whoa, you cant say that on TV
Stewie: What, ego.
Brian: Nevermind
Brian & Stewie: *Were too differnt to ever be pals.*

Funny, Funny Stuff

"There is no one who does not carry scars upon his heart. If there were such a person, he would be but a shallow soul." -Hiei

R.I.P.kajunkwen · ‎09-17-2003

Brian: "Whose leg do you have to #### to get a dry martini around here?"

R.I.P.InFlames0 · ‎09-07-2003

you know whats stupid that they edited things that were on the show.

R.I.P.Garfield · ‎09-17-2003

I dont remember it exactly how it goes, but this is a good one:
The griffins are in court, and peter is on the stand;

Peter:Brian is a better father than i am! i mean, he knows that stewies favorite book is-

Brian: good night moon.

P: and chris' favorite ice cream flavor is-

B: chocolate chip.

P: And the name of Meg's real father is-

B: Steven M

everyone looks at megan, and she is listening to music with headphones on, hearing nothing. he he. i like megan.

evilGnome · ‎07-01-2003

"I don't like to lie to Lois, but its the best way to keep her from knowing the truth"

R.I.P.Rodann8 · ‎09-12-2003

Peter, as death, bursts into airplane ####.

Pilot: You're not a pilot! I know every pilot in the world!

R.I.P.orion2435 · ‎08-30-2003

quagmire- "who wants to play Drink the Beer?"
peter- "I do" (takes a drink)"what do I win?"
quagmire- "another beer!!"

peter- this is really the blood of ####? man, that guy must have been wasted 24/7

R.I.P.Shigromia · ‎08-18-2003

Brian and Stewie are on a truck filled with illegal imigrants

Brian: "Umm.... lets see. hola mi llamo es Brian."

Guy: "well actually when you say mi llamo you don't need the es."

Brian: "Oh so you speak English?"

Guy: "No only that sentence and this one explaing it."

Brian "Are you serious?"

Guy: "Que?

-----------------------------------------

Dianne: "Bob you're so far in the closet you're finding Christmas presents."

-

R.I.P.JMS61086 · ‎07-10-2003

Stan Thompson was Megs real father.

I give up, time to have fun!

R.I.P.xoverbitex · ‎08-25-2003

Ah, but how can you boil it down to one?

Family Guy - Funniest Sh*t Ever

-overbite

R.I.P.KelliKatt · ‎07-09-2003

*Chris rides up*
Old man: Oh hey there young fella. Bring any good news today?
Chris: What?
Old man: Come on over here son. Hand me the paper so I don't need to use my grabber. Mmm...that's a nice muscly throwing arm you got there.
Chris: Uh, thanks.
Old man: Got a nice tip for ya right here in my pocket, but my arthritis. Why don't you reach in there and fish it out for yourself?
Chris: Oh that's ok mister! I don't collect to the end of the month. I'll see ya tomorrow!
*rides off*
Chris: Weird....
__________________________________________________

*Chris rides up*
Old man: Hey muscly arm, why the long face?
Chris: Oh it's this girl, I can't talk to her. It's like girls are a different species or something.
Old man: Aw who needs em'. You like popsicles?
Chris: Well, sure.
Old man: Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I have a whole freezer full of popsicles. Mmm...
Chris: No thanks, I gotta get going.
Old man: Oh, don't make me beg now.
Chris: Hahaha, you're funny. Bye!
*Chris rides off*
Old man: Get your fatass back here.
________________________________________________

*the family gets home*
Lois: Oh it's so nice to be home.
*presses button on answering machine*
Answering machine: You have 113 new messages.
Lois: Oh my..
*answering machine plays*
Old man: Uh yeah, I was just wondering..uh..mmm...where the newspaper boy was?
*beep*
Old man: Haven't seen the newspaper in a couple days..wonderin' if ya ever gonna come back.
*beep*
Old man: Guess who? Sorry to leave ya so many messages. Just lonely, thinking of the muscly arm paperboy wishin' he would come by and bring me some good news.
*beep*
Old man: Where are ya?
*beep*
Ah, you startin' to p.iss me off you lil piggily son of b.itch....call me!
____________________________________________

Ahahahahahaha....oh man, do I love that episode!

Edited 9/18/2003 8:21:39 PM ET by KelliKatt