Family Guy

[R.I.P.Chelloveck13]

(Arrows fly past just barley missing lois hitting the chair shes sitting on)
Lois: Stewie, why dont you play with your toys in the other room.
Stewie: Why dont you burn in hell!
Lois: Well no desert for you!

[R.I.P.Werdz]

The episode where Peter checks his breast for cancer
Peter-"There's a lump...oh no wait that's a cheeto"

[R.I.P.Vash002]

Stewie-do her do her do her Oh who hasn't done her lose the pigtails and we'll talk

[R.I.P.trigun411]

look i feel in a pool with all my clothes on how halarious is that!

[R.I.P.inuyasha4me2]

Stewie: Today's a bad day to be a ####!

(or something like that... can't possibly remember all the funy things in FG...it's all funny!)

[R.I.P.RealMonsters]

My favorite fam. Guy ouote is

Steway:When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless!

[R.I.P.Vash002]

My favorite FAMILYGUY episode wuz ...Petopia when thelights were off and stewwie tried to stabb louis and peter and brian kept loooking at louiss boobs.

[R.I.P.wooties]

Man, I see these topics EVERYWHERE! But I love it when stewie said "That girl needs to get laid, big time" since meg was being a biznitch.

[R.I.P.dipitydoodoo]

Peter: "First I'll say come again, and then I'll laugh

cause I said 'come'."


I use that quote just about once a day.

[R.I.P.Vash002]

My fav your a griffin and griffins never no when to stop.. clear #### clear .. #### Thank you doctor you saved my life.. clear.hahahahahaha

[R.I.P.Vash002]

Wait I have a question what song does stewie sing when he say "I know what it takes to be cool"

[R.I.P.crochpocket]

peter- #### loves me a bunch, `cuz he put skippy in my lunch.

(revised from a lack of perfect memory)
crochpocket.

[ETtheExtraT]

The whole "Dustin Hoffman interview" in the episode where Meg goes to work at the news station.

"Dusting Hoffman is almost IMPOSSIBLE to book, but we got him!"

*cuts to interview*

Tom Tucker: "It's been a while, Dustin, and I've got to say you look great."

*cut to a clip from "The Graduate"*

Dustin Hoffman: Are you trying to seduce me (edited voice) MR. TUCKER?

*cut back to Tom Tucker in the studio*

Tom Tucker: No I am not trying to seduce you, Dustin Hoffman, you really look great.

*cut to a clip from another Hoffman movie*

Hoffman: "Uh-oh, twelve minutes to Wapner."

*cut back to Tucker*

Tucker: "Yes, I understand your hectic schedule. But if there's anything I can ever do for you--"

*cut to clip from "Hook"*

Hoffman: "BRING ME PETER PAN!"

Tucker: "I'll keep my eye out for him. Thanks, Dustin."

-----

Another good one is the ever-classic Lois/Peter exchange.

Lois: "This could be the perfect chance for you to bond with Stweie!"

Peter: "Bond? .... Jaaaaaames Bond... Okay, Lois, I'll do it!"

[R.I.P.CAOCAO]

its #### not penies

[R.I.P.CAOCAO]

yur wrong u #### twit

it goes

lois: peter did u get that thing taken care (shes referring to the mafia hit peter had put on her)

peter: o u mean that growth (flash back

doctor: uh mr griffin thats not a growth thats your ####

peter: uh what about the....

Doctor: ####

[R.I.P.CAOCAO]

its me llamo brian meaning i am called brian which is the correct way to tell someone your name in spanish

[R.I.P.Artis]

Quagmire- GigadyGigadyGigady
____________________________________________________________
Peter's Boat : S.S. Mightier than superman, batman, spiderman, and the incredile hulk combined.

____________________________________________________________

Peter: It's my duty as a father to provide for my family.. Heh Duty, heheh diarrhea
Peter: Hey Lois
Lois: Yes Peter?
Peter: Diarrhea
____________________________________________________________
Peter: Isn't it a glorious day Mr. Sun?
Sun: It's always a beautiful day with two scoops of raisins!
____________________________________________________________

Old guy: Hey there paper boy, You got some muscly arms. I got a nice tip for oyu in my pocket, but I can't get it on account of my bad arthiritis. Why don't you fish out a little jingle-jangle
____________________________________________________________

Kool-Aid Man H YEAH
____________________________________________________________
Stewie: It's funny. Fred Rogers, kinda sounds like...Eliminate!
____________________________________________________________
Peter gets kicked in the shins
AHHH for like 1 minute

[R.I.P.imreven]

Stewy-Hey,how you doing there?...You felling alright mmmn? You want a sooooooooda mmm?....well #### it i tried
____________________________________________________________

meg-im going to my room and wait there untill i die

stewy ill be there in a minuete
____________________________________________________________

Tom tucker-and now heres ali with our blacky whether forcasts ali?

Ali-its gonna rain!!!

Tom tucker-thanks ali

Edited 9/26/2003 10:11:50 PM ET by imreven

[R.I.P.gollygweez]

what about:

Jasper: How do you like sex and the city?
Brian: the show? well, its allright..
Jasper: I didn't mean the show OOOh I'm NASTY!!!!!


Not exactly on target but...

Stewie : lets splurge on ice cream , have a girls night and be HUGE FAT BITCHES.
Where they don't know what to do with the 20 dollar bill

[R.I.P.Wobijokid]

Joe: Peter check this out
(Peter walks under a police arresting machine)
Voice: Warning, Suspect, You are under arrest
Peter: hey thats prtty cool
Cleveland: hey let me try
Joe: Cleveland NO!
(Cleveland walks under the police arresting machine)
Voice: WARNING, MINORITY SUSPECT MINORITY SUSPECT
(These baseball bats come down and start #### cleveland)
VOICE: Hes got a gun
(A hand drops a gun in front of cleveland)

[R.I.P.Wobijokid]

Peter: whats your friends name?
Al Gore: #### Army
Peter: hahahahaha.ha.ha haaaaa, no really whats his name
Al Gore:.... #### Army
Peter: pppppppphhhhhhhhhhahahahahahaha

[R.I.P.Rinkusu]

My favorite quotes


Stewie: I want an in-flight happy meal, BUT NO PICKLES!, For every pickle i find, I SHALL KILL YOU
---------------------------------------------------
Chris: Hey birthday boy want some ice cream?
Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles, for every sprinkle i find I SHALL KILL YOU
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Cult Leader: who are you????
Stewie: i'm a boy *hiding* Anything you want?
Cult Leader: YES I WANT OUT OF HERE
Steiwe: fresh out of that but we have a nice cold plate of death! *fires ray gun at cult leader*
--------------------------------------------------
Old man: I've got some change in my pocket, but you know i have arthritus so how bout you reach in there

Old man: You like popsicles?
Chris: Yeah
Old man: Well i got a whole box of them down in the basement!
-----------------------------------------------------------

Stewie: AHHHHH I'M A WOMAN *runs off*

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Stewie: Ah your a baddddd boy, you know you want this you bad boyyyyyyy

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[R.I.P.dragonballgt]

Peter in I am Peter, Hear Me Roar

Peter: I'd like to say a couple of truths to the men in this audience. It's your fault we have so much crime in this country! And it's your fault we have so much violence in this country! You are ruining our society and you should be ashamed!
Then it goes to a scene with Peter running from a million angry black guys.

[R.I.P.CAOCAO]

yeah he was drunk and he went on stage at the million (black) man march he meant just to talk to men in general but well u kno what happened

[R.I.P.Kobbletoe]

......wait a minute what movie, cause if its anything with Greg Kenear you can just wack me off right now