Family Guy

[R.I.P.evilways]

joe:You can't annex my pool
peter:According to the Geneva Convention
Article 4
Paragraph 3
Sentence 5
Word 3...."The"

Edited 9/12/2003 12:20:06 AM ET by evilways

[R.I.P.evilways]

Quagmire:Whats all the noise out here? I was just layin in bed, jerkin- ...out of a deep sleep!

[R.I.P.Celcious]

My Favorite is

Stewie: I say Paco, get a mop before Rex bends a french bicuit on the convayeur belt.

[R.I.P.Samori]

Stewie: For every sprinkle i find i shall kill u.

Chris: Stop hoging all the ugly!

[R.I.P.Fignuts2]

teacher-when u want to say yes in french u say ''wee-wee''

peter-(laughs hard) u got to be kidding me. what do u say when u want to say no, ''doo-doo''..... now excuse I got to go take a wicked yes.

[R.I.P.Hasishiko]

My favorite Stewey quote!!
"What the hell do you think your doing?
How am I supposed to take over the world,
When the outlet to the world is shut down?
#### you, #### you all!"

Stewey kicks major ####!!

[R.I.P.rob0t]

Lois:Let me warm it up alittle
Peter:ah ah ah....SHAZZAAAAAAAAM

[R.I.P.Adamant]

Free Tibet? I'll take it!... Hello, China, I have something you may want... but it's gonna cost ya- that's right... all the tea

[R.I.P.irishrocker]

"Holy crip he's a crapple"

[R.I.P.Dr_Manhattan]

Gigady

[R.I.P.triocular]

tonight:
(Stewie)"... and don't forget the taint..."
I can't believe that was aired, and last nights Peter monologue when the outhouse was knocked over.

[R.I.P.Dr_Manhattan]

stewie"now clean my button. in a circular motion...and don't you look at me!!"

[R.I.P.Polyphemus]

Chris: "It'll give me a chance to get away from the evil monkey who lives in my closet."

[cuts away to the monkey baring his teeth and pointing.]

Chris: "The sad thing is he wasn't always evil."

[monkey in suit walks into his house.]

Monkey: "Honey, great news. Guess who just made partner."

[walks into bedroom to find his wife cheating on him. All three monkeys start jumping and making sounds. Evil monkey rips off clothes and does trademark motion.]

[R.I.P.inaheartbeat]

cop to brian- "why are you holding the babies hand?"
stewie to cop- "i met him on the internet, he lured me here with promises of candy and funny stories."

[R.I.P.wackootaku]

lol! man, you guys have some good memories! those ones are pretty funny. some of my faves are:

Cripple: Losersayswhat (in a robotic voice)
Joe: What?
Cripple: Ha, ha, ha. You stupid b@$t@rd.
____________________________________________________

Lois: We'll take the bo-
Peter: Wait Lois, a boat's a boat, but a box could be anything. It could even be a boat. You know how much we've always wanted one.
Lois: Then just take the -
Peter: We'll take the box.

-Later-

Lois: We'll take the box, you said. All we ended up with are two tickets to a stupid comedy club.
Peter: Hey, its not like I haven't done something dumb before. Remember when I was suppose to get the boat.

-Flashback-

Lois: We'll take the bo-
Peter: Wait Lois, a boat's a boat, but a box could be anything. It could even be a boat. You know how much we've always wanted one.
Lois: Then just take the -
Peter: We'll take the box.

-Present-

Lois: Peter, that was 15 minutes ago.
_________________________________________________

Mrs. Peuterschmidt: Who wants a cookie.
Stewie: I smell death on you.
_________________________________________________

Peter: He's even meaner than the vacuum repair man.

-Flashback-

Repair man: I fixed the problem. It seems there was a half-eaten meatball lodged in the pipe.

Peter: Did you save the meatball.

Repair man: Uh, no.

Peter: You b@$t@rd.
___________________________________________________

Peter: Lois, sometimes it's okay to swear.

-Flashback-

Cop: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God.

Peter: I swear...., you b@$t@rd.

[R.I.P.cmartyn02]

Dude, you were close but no cigar on Brian's last line here...

Brian: Hola, mi nombre es brian.

Immigrant: thats pretty good, but you dont need the es in there. its just hola, mi nombre brian.

Brian: oh thank God you speak English!

Immigrant: nope, just that sentance and this sentance explaining it.

Brian: You're kidding, right?

Immigrant: Que?

[R.I.P.wackootaku]

he also said "Me llamo es Brian", not "Mi nombre es Brian".

The first one means roughly "I am called is Brian" and the second is "My name is Brian".

Just being picky >_0

[R.I.P.abefrohman]

Pac Man Ghosts: Hey, you wanna eat us? Were turnin' blue. Huh? Huh? Awwwww. He's not budgin', let's go to Q-berts.


I gotta get back to Loretta... it's our anniversary and the gettin's good.

Ow (boom) Ow (boom) Ow (boom) When's it gonna be my turn?

[R.I.P.janglurevil7]

When peter loses his job, he gets really fat (fisherman ep)
And he's in a kiddie pool, getting a bath

Lois: Dont forget to get under his chins chris!
(stewie pops up from underneath him in a snorkel)

Stewiw: O its a bloody mess down there lois, i need some alone time. (walks off)

[R.I.P.morpheous]

the entire "cant touch me" song from "E Peterous Unim" in the secound season, lol, awesome stuff

[R.I.P.morpheous]

wait no, ive got a better one, when lois wasnt "cooking fast" in the episode where peter becomes a feminist, and

where peter says "Hey, what do you call a woman who takes to long to cook breakfast"

Lois"Peter, i swear if you........."

Peter" YOU CALL HER LOIS, hehehehehehehehehehe"

stewie" HAHAHA, yes, the fat man made a funny. I rater enjoyed that...hmmmm....yes....You cook very slowly, in fact, if you where any slower at cooking, well, you wouldn't be cooking very fast now would you, HA!!!



hahahahaha, it goes on, but that was the best

[R.I.P.JERKALERT]

Stewie in the epidode where Brian and Him get glued together for 2 weeks.

Stewie: You like changing my dirty diaper don't you!
DOn't you!....Don't forget the taint.

[R.I.P.PalmettoC]

Stewie--

"Look at him. He runs like a Welshman. Doesn't he run like a Welshman?"

[R.I.P.Kanluyen]

when Peter tells i think lois or somebody that he can take her anywhere she wants exept the disco ball cause they dont let him in there anymore and they show
Peter walks in(with everybody dancing) with a stick and a blind fold knocks down the disco ball with the stick like a pinyata, picks up a shard, puts it in his mouth and says
"stupid mexicans and their glass candy"

[R.I.P.Link13]

They're at the zoo and Peter lures the baby joe(kangaroo)out of his mom's pouch.

Peter: I have always wanted to do this.

Lois: Look here are the marsupials. Oh my god, Peter get out of there.

Peter: Hey Lois, look at me I'm Roo. Come on ma let's go see Pooh try to get the bee's out off their hive by pretending he's a rain cloud.

Stewie comes out after Brian put animal food in his back pocket in the peting zoo.

Stewie: I.. am.. going.. to.. kick.. your.. a$$