Family Guy

[R.I.P.Kobbletoe]

(peter as a child)
peter: why did all the dinosours die out?
museum guy: cause you touch yourself at night

[R.I.P.Bman69]

I love stewie

[ticb2005]

(UPS woman comes to Quagmire's door)
Woman: Glenn Quagmire, I have a package here for you.

quagmire: Wait right here!
(Runs off)
(Comes back, naked)
Quagmire: And I have a package for you right here!

Woman: Oh my God!!
(Takes out pepper spray and sprays him)

(Quagmire stands there smiling)
Quagmire: Ha Ha, I've developed an immunity.

Edited 9/28/2003 2:04:01 AM ET by ticb2005

[R.I.P.thatperson]

Remeber that time u called me chris grissel

well yeah i guess so

now burn for it

[ticb2005]

you must have me confused with someone else Mr. Grissel

[R.I.P.guinnesstits]

"Next up after the break, the ####, natures rubix cube."

[R.I.P.unibasser02]

it's spelled ####

[Z-Ro617]

id have 2 say my favorite family guy episode iz peterotica:

Cleveland: "I'm no school administrator, but there iz an extension program goping on in my trousers......"

[Z-Ro617]

POST UR FAVORITE FAM GUY QUOTES!!!!!!

i started this thread a looooong time ago with my 1st username, now i wanna continue but i dont wanna make a new one

[DG3nerAti0n19]

"Why you gotta break balls?" -Chris  "Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story"pt.1

[DG3nerAti0n19]

"I know you ain't puttin' that rock up from here you ain't got no 'J!"

[use-your-ilusion1]

theres so many funny ones ill start of with one of my personal favorites.

*peter* "boy this is more intense than the time i forgot how to sit down*

*peter* "lois noone wants to be peter criss not even peter criss wants to be peter criss"

*lois* "lets just say youre clear for landing"

*quagmire* "gigigety"

[SwimPotato]

Our Son, would like to Plow you... - Peter

[Nyanya]

Stewie: Yea, and God said to Abraham "You will kill your son, Isaac", and Abraham said "I'm sorry, I can't hear you. You'll have to speak into the microphone", and God said "Oh, I'm sorry, is this better? Check, check... check. Jerry, pull the high end out. I'm still getting some hiss back here."

[Castor_Aries]

Brian Griffin [describing The Blair Witch Project to a blind man] Okay, they're in-they're in the woods...the camera keeps on moving...uh, I think they're-they're looking for some witch or something, I-I don't know, I wasn't listening. Nothing's happening...nothing's happening...something about a map...nothing's happening...it's over. [looks around] A lot of people in the audience look pissed.

[animechicka]

peter(when he and lois were at the phantom of the opera show)

"come on, lets see the gross side of your face!"

[bond007osu]

Peter: I read it in a book somewhere.

Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't NOTHING?

Peter: Oh yeah, right.

[XcarnageX]

Stewie: "I just love God...he's so deliciously evil!"

[SpokeyDokey9787]

Brian: Hola! Um... me, me llamo es Brian. Ahh, uh, um... Let's see, uh, nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.
Mexican Guy: Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said, "Me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es", just "me llamo Brian".
Brian: Oh! So you speak English!
Mexican: No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You... you're kidding, right?
Mexican: Que?

pbthhhpt: These commercials are stupid.
Lois: They certainly don't make me want a Minto.
Brian: Totally ineffective.
Peter: Must... Kill... Lincoln.

Boy: Oh Mary, you'll never leave us will you?
Mary: [opens shirt]
Boy: Yes, those are lovely, but it doesn't quite answer our question.

[Vallie]

"Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?"

"Because you touch yourself at night."

[terror44]

u have aids

[BendItLikeBeckham]

Peter Griffin: Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We've just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonderfalls, Fastlane, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, FreakyLinks, Wanda at Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute With Stan Hooper, Normal, Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddie, The $treet, American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, The Tick, Luis, and Greg the Bunny.

[apetite4destruction]

---

Vallie wrote:

"Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?"

"Because you touch yourself at night."

---

[Mr_Brooks]

Stewie Griffin: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!

Lois Griffin: WHAT!?

Stewie Griffin: Hi.

[Castor_Aries]

Richie Cunningham: Mom, Dad, I really like Potsie.

Marion Cunningham: Why not, dear? Potsie's a very nice boy.

Richie Cunningham: Uh, no, Mom. I mean, I really like Potsie.

Howard Cunningham: We heard you the first time, son. You have a homosexual attraction to Potsie.