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Posts: 38,014
Registered: ‎08-23-2003

Friggin Girardi

[ Edited ]

Yeah it's nice to get a chance to sit down and watch Saul of the Mole Men again knowing that it actually does get better. 

Even with that knowledge firmly in place, I just couldn't help but think the pilot s.ucked some major assage. I get the premise of multiple show openings, I've seen it work better in other projects, but for me in the Saul pilot it plays like a mishmash of ideas thrown together by a group of people who weren't prepared for their series to air by the intended airdate. And things really don't pick up right away. The first two episodes of Saul are probably not even as good as Assy McGee was. I think Assy was a much tighter show its first few episodes out. I think the difference between a show like Assy McGee and a show like Saul of the Mole Men though is potential growth. I think Saul is a much more open and imaginative concept and has a lot of places it can go, whereas Assy McGee is just doomed to be a one-note, basically tinny and flat sort of concept. Yeah, good writers can breathe life into anything, but you really have to have an incredible writing staff to pull off something that so dead-ends itself from its very conception like Assy did.

But Saul - on the plus side - lots of potential. Tons of room for growth. On the minus side - wow those first couple episodes are genuinely awful television. And I don't mean "oh those fellows sure are witty the way they used over-the-top stupid humor". I mean, I don't think they used that type of humor effectively at all. As in - the show begins (for me) not in the "so bad it's funny" category. Or in the "ironically wacky" category. But rather in the "absymally horribly awful" category.

And I blame Girardi.

Who else could it be? Everything that guy touches turns to crap.

It's obviously not Hugh Davidson. I mean come on, the guy's written for Robot Chicken. ROBOT **bleep** CHICKEN. That show is through the friggin roof. Everybody loves it and everybody loves Hugh for bringing several minutes of it to life.

Tom Stern? Please - the man is a genius. He was one of them baby geniuses even. If you get the opportunity to see baby pictures of him - do. Because he has this big giant freak baby head. And that never went away. His head is enormous to this day. So - but if he was a genius baby, now that he's an adult with a fully grown adult brain - you might as well just go **bleep** yourself if you think this whole mess is his fault. Freaked?? Are you **bleep** kidding me? That movie is **bleep** awesome and Adult Swim should show it. Also his early shorts with Alex Winter. Those things rule you and own everything you claim to possess as yours.

Craig Lewis? uh - don't think so. Barkin up the wrong tree there. He has a long track record of successful toonage. Like that uh - that Johnny Bravo. He did that. "Hoo! Hah!". What are you kidding me? forget about it. The guy's solid.

Josh Gardner? Man Show, Jimmy Kimmel (that guy owes me five bucks) Live, Gerhard Reinke's Wanderlust?? Gerhard **bleep** Reinke?? He became that character. He literally transformed himself surgically to become another person just for that role. He had his hips fluffed and widened for comic effect. and his nose lengthened. That - is **bleep** commitment.

The cast? You've got to be **bleep** kidding me. Frank? Uncle Frank from the Jimmy Kimmel show who does the voice of that robot thing? Gary Williams, Dana Snyder, Irina whatserfaceia? She's just plain **bleep** hot. You can't blame her for stuff. Arturo Gil? Jeff Bennet? Alex Winter? Grey DeLisle? That other Kimmel - whatsisname Kimmel? The - possibly brother or cousin of Jimmy Kimmel?  Brilliant. These are proven commodities people. These people are bought and sold every single day for their various talents.

Music? Tim Burns. Shut yer hole. Tim Burns - is a musical - genius. Duh. You make me sick even suggesting it. And Trey Parker. Who here doesn't appreciate Trey Parker coming down out of his ivory South Park tower in Colorado, pulling his head out of his own **bleep**, and lending some lyrical support to his creative brethren. Right when they need him most? Are you going to be the one that pulls the trigger on that? no. Didn't think so.

So let's see, what's that leave?

Oh yeah Girardi.

I know what you're saying, you're saying "well hey now - without Girardi, there might never have been a Crank Yankers or Minoriteam". And to that I say - that is exactly why those shows aren't around any more. And I can hear you now "well but - the costumes, puppets and everything about the design work in Saul is really cool and entertaining and interesting" and - yeah sure. It is. But it's not his work that's the problem.

It's the Girardi curse.

Which is and has been shrouded in mystery. Because they don't want you to know. That whole like "trilateral shadow cabinet" thing that Kimmel's got going on.

Girardi does great work, and from what I understand he's a great guy and everything - but yeah. Every single thing he touches turns to crap. It turns to crap and melts all over the floor and you have to pay a special cleaning service to come in and hose it all down because your regular cleaning service isn't going to touch that.

And that is exactly what's going to happen to Saul of the Mole Men. And ultimately, it's not his fault.

It's the molocchio.

A gypsy curse that's been handed down for generations of Girardis. All because somewhere way way back in his family tree some **bleep** didn't pay the lady.

But all that is in the past, what concerns me right now is the future of Saul of the Mole Men.

And I have a solution.

Change his name. In the credits. From "Peter Girardi" to "Felix Malcolm Holmgren" or "Hogliss Traine" or something. Even Jon Smith. Something that will confuse the Molocchio so that it can't find him in the credits. Because if it can't find him in the credits, then you're golden.



I help because I care.

Message Edited by SwimMod_Luuv on 04-25-2007 10:06 AM