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Kittehpotent
lyberty
Posts: 63
Registered: ‎08-05-2003
0

mature material warning (fill-in-the-blank contest

[ Edited ]
To: Adult Swim / Williams Street
Regarding: the Adult Swim "mature material warning" card
Date: July / August 2007
 
Dear [as],
 
I noticed that you recently changed your "objectionable content not suitable for children" warning.
 
As you apparently don't have an editor employed at Williams Street, I thought you might benefit from a free critique.
 
Current version:
 
"Adult Swim may contain mature material
some viewers might not find suitable"
 
1. The use of "may" and "might" is a redundant and poorly conceived expression of possibility.

Use either "Adult Swim contains material that some viewers might find objectionable." or "Adult Swim may contain material that some will fill objectionable."
As I think we can all agree that it absolutely does (and will continue to) contain such material, the former is the obvious choice.
(Honestly -- "_may_ contain mature material"? What is the possibility that the programming will not have mature material?)
 
2. Note that a sentence consists of a complete thought, and ends with a period.
 
The natural question that arises from the current wording is "Suitable for what?"
 
Some possibilities for turning this into a sentence:
 
"Adult Swim contains mature material
that some people might not find suitable _for viewing by children_."

"Adult Swim contains mature material
that some people might not find suitable _for viewing by anyone, ever_."

"Adult Swim contains material
that some people might not find suitable _for use in cleaning toilets_."
 
Personally, I'd recommend you move beyond the "minimum amount of text required by law", and
instead just label the content for what it is:
 
"Adult Swim programming is intended for non-discerning adults,
and contains material that can be considered morally or intellectually offensive -- often both."
 
Or, you could simplify it:
 
"Adult Swim often contains violent or sexual content, drug and alcohol references, and swearing.
Some people like this kind of thing; this warning is for those who don't."
 
 
Best regards,
Lyberty

Message Edited by lyberty on 08-22-2007 11:11 PM

Re-Registered 08-05-2003 , 03:16 am ([as] Message Board version 2.3);
"The network's night shift caters to robot geeks as well as comedy geeks, with anime like 'Cowboy Bebop'.''
"AdultSwim.com is part of the Turner Young Adult Network."
Kittehpotent
lyberty
Posts: 63
Registered: ‎08-05-2003
0

Re: mature material warning

Reply to lyberty - Message ID#: 38675667

Board:
 
Wait, I get it now! This is another one of the "fill in the blank" contests!
 
So how would you end this sentence?
 
 
Adult Swim contains mature material
some viewers might not find suitable  _for_____________________________.
Re-Registered 08-05-2003 , 03:16 am ([as] Message Board version 2.3);
"The network's night shift caters to robot geeks as well as comedy geeks, with anime like 'Cowboy Bebop'.''
"AdultSwim.com is part of the Turner Young Adult Network."
Kittehmortal
benjover
Posts: 37,288
Registered: ‎11-29-2003
0

Re: mature material warning

Reply to lyberty - Message ID#: 38675908

Pregnant ladies running obstacle courses.
Don't you hate it when you look to the future and get past? Smurf!
Lighten up, because floaters are the only ones who survive the flush.
It's like watching two constipated monkeys in a feces slinging contest.
Pinocchio's a real old out of shape boy! Look out! -->What came first!
Kittehportant
PokeNirvash
Posts: 9,153
Registered: ‎01-01-2007
0

Re: mature material warning (fill-in-the-blank con

Reply to lyberty - Message ID#: 38675667

Adult Swim may contain unsuitable content for those under the age of 18.
Cuz we've got Higurashi. Tons of Higurashi. Not the Higurashi from Inuyasha.
But the Higurashi from anime where moe girls kill each other.
It's as exciting as Korgoth and Dethklok.
Viewer Discretion Advised.
American Cowboys Approved.
Enjoy the show.
Or leave if your stomach is weak.
Don't make us repeat it.
AD Character Assignment: Ririn
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