Ghost in the Shell

[Vladimir]

You knew it was coming.  There was no helping and no stopping it.  We are proud to announce that the first segment of V and CV GITS Update will go up Sunday afternoon. Yjer mre u ombihitsyrf…

(slaps forehead)  Hey, chibi… how ‘bout giving that teleprompter an adjust?

(bump heard off screen)

CHIBI VLADIMIR: That’th what you get for buying thtuff at a powithe auction.  (turns to face camera)  Hewwo!  (flashes peace sign)

Thanks.  As I was trying to say, the Premiere Nights will give you the chance to watch these eps and read the thread in tandem… which you could do anyway if I had a decent home computer. (sigh)

Anyway, I don’t want this thread shuttered because someone mistakes it for yet another out-of-control RP, so we’re going to keep the extraneous chatter down to a dull roar.  We hope you’ll oblige us by doing the same.

Furthermore, I can’t promise I’ll be able to see this thing through to the end, as it’ll take a full year or more for all the episodes to play out… and this is a year in my life that may see some major changes. But I’ll try my best.  Wish me luck.

[let the games begin]

[scoobdog]

Can hardly wait, Vlad.

[ahsayuni_fan]

make it count, Vlad

[Khyphonis]

I knew you couldn't help yourself. Just gotta rub the salt in the wound for this one too, now do you?!

SPOILER (AND no I'm not gonna tag it screw u all):

Motoko's dub in Japanese sounds a little better than the English version, but she does sound kinda 'butch' at times on the Japanese version.
Blame it on the gizmos.

HA I have SPOILED U! HA!

[R.I.P.TheDiscoCrow]

I actually wasn't expecting this. 

...yes I was.

[Vladimir]

(scene opens on an packed auditorium)

VLADIMIR: Wow... I didn't expect a full house on opening night...

CHIBI VLADIMIR: Wike the movie thayd... if you write it, they will come...

V: That's not exactly... aw hell, forget it... I don't really have any huge skit prepared, because I really didn't think anyone the thread even existed until mid-week or so... but I suppose I do owe you something... so... (dashes backstage... emerges in full "Moulin Rouge" drag... starts doing the can-can)

CV: Hhh.  We're twying to entertain thethe people, not put them in therapy... (aside) I pwomithe you... we'll be fuwwy operational next week... but until then, enjoy the snappy patter and cruel commentary that only we can give you.  (deep bow... watches V shake hir moneymaker for all the world to see)  Now if you need me, I'll be backthage, puking in the big guy'th shoeth.

The opening is technically a bit of a bait-and-switch, but do you hear me complaining?  Love the opening theme and the doll motif.

Okay, did anybody else get a chance to read that?

I just threw up in my mouth a little...

A raid on a temple?  What, were they selling good luck scrolls without a license?  Oh, wait... never mind...

In what will be the first of many such occasions, Aramaki saves the government from disaster... and saves the audience from listening to all that bureaucratic b-tching and moaning.

Taken hostage by geisha-bots?  How humiliating is that?

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn (a. k. a. Julia, Jagara, Helba, Nuriko, Cassandra) gives us another top-drawer performance...

Roll call!  Batou!  Togusa! Ishikawa! Saito! Hazu! Bulma! Yamcha! Chi-chi... wait... she said, “Boma”...

Of course the geishas aren’t holding out for better wages, you twit.  They would have gone through their union.  You don’t mess with the International Sisterhood of Sexbots!

(enter fancreature mode)  Did you see that?  How they went all rainbow and shimmery and then went invisible? It was f-ckin’ awesome!

Robotic geisha contortionist wrestling... wasn’t this a “Banzai” segment?

Just because the team is taking on robots doesn’t mean there won’t be plenty of gore.

And you thought you were hot sh-t in a champagne class because you managed to hacked your high school’s server.  But could you blow up a computer by remote?

“One male confirmed dead from head trauma.” I think the fact that his head’s been cracked open like a cantaloupe was her first clue.

Nobody thought to question what was in the funny suitcase?  If the lieutenant suspected something, why didn’t she saw so?

This scene on the highway reminded me of “The Running Man”, and not just because of the title…

Those of us familiar with the GITS universe know that the Tachikomas are unreliable and fickle little buggers.

The guy blanked out his brain.  He’s kind of like a suicide bomber, only… you know… cleaner.

April 14, 2030… this situation must be intense if they made Motoko come in on a Sunday… which may explain why she’s “dressed down”… but not really.

Togusa, you’ll recall, is the most organic member of the team, and technically the weakest.  He’s also a family man, so he also has the most to lose.  No wonder he feels the need for target practice.

“How are the grandchildren?” All in rehab, juvey, and the littlest one ran off to Okinawa with some gaijin twice her age… but thanks for asking.

Where’d Ishikawa come from just now?

Maybe that secretary wasn’t attacked after all.  Maybe her brain exploded from the sight of a middle-aged salaryman jacking into the body of a geisha… oy gevalt, I just made that sound twice as bad as it actually was…

So this is what Motoko meant when she mentioned Togusa’s special talents… but what exactly did he just do, and how… it kinda reminded me of Miho Karasuma from WHR…

So that dead guy we saw earlier was actually the perp, who somehow ripped out the victim’s brain-box, put it inside his own head, and masqueraded as the victim… how times have changed.

Ha! And you can’t even read the dingdamned file!  You dumb 5chmuck!

“Thanks for saving me… what can I do for you?” You can start by gettin’ those hands up, brain-boy!  This is a bust!

It’s just a mechanical brain, but it’s still gross as all hell.

Micro-machines?  How can a bunch of tiny little cars help her regain her brain function?

All bow before the power of Aramaki and his bureaucracy-fu.

As expected, the ending theme kicks serious azz.

[scoobdog]

---

Vladimir wrote:

Robotic geisha contortionist wrestling... wasn’t this a “Banzai” segment?

---

Lol. You know, that show wasn't half bad, either. At least for a Fox show...

Was I the only one that was somewhat confused by the plot? It was all visually stunning, but I had a heck of a time trying to follow who was spying for whom and who was cybernetically enhanbced and who was not.

Btw... Was that not the coolest two way radio system?

[Vladimir]

It helps if you've done your homework beforehand.  To prep myself for this series and this project, I read over the manga and took the time to see both "GITS" and "GITS 2: Innocence" (miraculously, that last was playing in my area, which is typically skipped by productions like these).

The character profiles provided in the "Shows" listing of this website may help you sort things out, as will the plethora of fansites out there.  But I'll admit I had to watch this ep twice to grasp the plot.  Everything in the GITS franchise is like that... nothing is ever as cut-and-dried as it looks at first glance.  All the plotlines have plots within plots and counterplots and counter-counterplots. 

Message Edited by Vladimir on 11-07-2004 07:05 PM

[scoobdog]

That's pretty cool. I take it the movies help at least a bit: I know the second one was in pretty wide release here, so I'm sorry I missed it now.

[R.I.P.slayer_damien]

i cant wait the countdown begans

[R.I.P.TheDiscoCrow]

---

Vladimir wrote:

This scene on the highway reminded me of “The Running Man”, and not just because of the title…

---

Yeah, I know what you mean.  Tis' not the first time that I've seen a modern anime that looks like it stole a scene from a cult-classic 80's action film...well maybe it is, but still, when are people gonna realize that copyright infringment is bad?  You can't just copy someone else's ideas.

Chibi Crow: Yeah! you thaid it big gwuy!!

TDC: You get back in your cage damnit!!

[Vladimir]

CV: (O)_(O) It'th... it'th.. a miniature verstion of TheDithcoCwow... and it'th awive... it'th not a puppet or anything... what kind of thick pottage of thorcewy and twithted thienthe have you perpetwated upon the world?!  WHO GAVE YOU THE WIGHT TO PWAY GOD, YOU... YOU... MONTHTER!  (shuddering)

V: Too much espresso and five seconds of TBN while channel-surfing... not a good combo.

[Vladimir]

(last Sunday night, 2:01 AM EST)

(V and CV staring at the TV... completely blank)

V: Well... that was... interesting...

CV: Yeth.  The thame way theptic tank backupth ah intewethting.

V: Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad.

CV:  Look.  For monthth now thethe people have had me ekthpecting wedneck thquidth who thpit and shoot thingths.  (downs a handful of honey-roasted cashews) Then they throw up—in multiple thentheth of the word—that... that... whatever the f-ck that wath.  Fwankwy, the thquidth would have been an impwovement.  Towardth the end of the show, I wath tharting to identify with that one thquid.  I felt like getting dwunk and shooting thingth mythelf.

V: Tell us how you really feel.  I’ll admit I could have done without all those shots of that hentai martial arts schoolgirl.  And way to preserve Space Ghost’s dignity, like he had any in the first d-mn place.  (sips his tea... Plantation Mint, iced with chicory)  Anyway, what did you think of that second feature? (also helps himself to some cashews)

CV:  Hhh. (samples his own blend... Cinnamon Stick with Sambuca, on fire)  A gweedy little pipthqeak who whineth conthtantwy and thweahth wike a charwoman.  I don’t buy it for a minute.

V: Really?  ‘Cause I was thinking that if your bedroom wasn’t wallpapered with posters of half-dressed Gundam Wing pilots, you two could hook up.

CV: (death glare... followed by a splash of flaming Cinnamon Stick on V’s crotch)

V: GYAAAAA! MOTHERF-CKING HELL! (runs around the house in a frantic dash for the fire extinguisher)

CV:  Heh.  Doethn’t even know enough to thtop, dwop, and woll.  YOU DUMBATH! (wipes out the the rest of the cashews in one gulp)

[Vladimir]

• So the opening aria’s going to on every week? Tres cool.
• Something’s wrong at the plant.  What, Homer throw up on the control panel again?
• Things We Learned from Anime #166: Never approach a mecha several times larger than yourself without being in a mecha of your own... especially when the other mecha is a military prototype.  Do we understand why?
• As usual, the suits twitter and frown like constipated church ladies.
• Remember, kids: to keep your Tachikoma happy and functional, give it a treat occasionally, but don’t spoil it.
• I guess the Tachis have a special kinship with the Major because she almost as much a machine as they are.  Maybe they think that if they’re good little mecha and eat all their veggies, they too will grow up to be a glamourous action-hero fembot with a hooker’s wardrobe.
• In this ultramodern world, just because Kago-san is dead doesn’t mean he’s not a suspect.
• No one wants to take responsibilty for what a situation everyone knows won’t end well... no one except Section 9.
• This is why Kusanagi’s the leader of this outfit. She knows how to cover all the bases and who’s the best man to cover each one.
• “You get all the fun jobs, don’t you?” Dunno... seems shaking down a couple of suitmonkeys might be easier than corralling a rampaging tank with a mind of its own.
• “The major gets mad when we chatter.”  I’m thinking it’s probably all those high-pitched kiddy voices at once.  Any Tachikoma of mine would be programmed to sound like Jane Seymour, Roma Downey, or Vanessa Williams.
• “So far it’s only destroyed the same kind of tank, so it probably won’t fire on us.”  Pray tell, how do you know this?
• Oooh, does somebody have a crush?
• “I didn’t think Section 9 really existed.” And that’s how you know they’re doing their job right.
• Not to sound contrary or anything, but just because nobody’s taking credit doesn’t mean it’s not a terrorist act.
• Aramaki’s no fool.  Right from the get-go he knows the Kenbishi people aren’t giving him everything he wants.
• “So we just wasted the day watching the huge a—of a tank.”  Sounds like my commute home from work, only I’m staring at a school-bus yellow Hummer with a “NO FAT CHICKS” bumper sticker.
• The tank even has the means to hack satellites.  Some things never change: annoyance with machines smarter than you are.
• The salaryman who referred to Section 9 as a “sawed-off police force” deserves ten rounds with the major, no holds barred.  But the pig would probably enjoy it.
• Aramaki has a good point.  “Gentlemen, we proudly present to you our newest superweapon, which features an unprecedented technological innovation—AI so uncontrollable and malicious it makes HAL9000 look like a MicroPet!”
• In case you’re watching the clock, it’s been 35 minutes and Oba hasn’t so much as peeped.  I’ll fire up the hot coals, you go fetch the rectal pear.
• They got Sparky!  NOOOOOOOOO!  Waitaminit... she’s alright, hell, she’s even cracking wise...
• Even as their creation prepares to lay waste to greater Tokyo, Kenbishi drags its feet...
• A full missile projectile array, decoys to draw away laser fire, auto-hack... but does it have cupholders?
• Hah!  Kago is the perp!  I so totally called it!
• “They f-ck you up, your mum and dad.  They may not mean to, but they do...” Philip Larkin, “This Be the Verse”
• “When my body dies, I’ll be free of my religion...” Interesting theology you got there.
• This is starting to remind me of that that bloke who stole that tank from a National Guard armory and trashed downtown San Diego.  There’s even a documentary about it.
• Finally, the CEO caves, if not to save innocent lives, then to save his company.  It’s always about the company with these people.
• That must be some seriously high-polymer thread... or piano wire. 
• How exactly can the Tachikomas stand on the rooftops without crashing through the ceilings?
• And there’s your cheesecake shot for the night folks... or should we say hot buns?  Lemme see that Tootsie Roll.
• The multi-ped’s thoughts: What the bloody hell... who told you could climb up there?  What am I, a f-cking jungle gym?  Stop that, dammit!  You’re interfering with my perfect revenge!
• “Look, Floyd!  Now they’re shooting goo at it!  You’re getting all this on camera, right?”
• “Kenbishi has anti-multiped weaponry?  They should have handed that to us right off the bat!”  Yes, Batou, they should have.
• Once again, the ‘rents come ‘round to throw a wrench in the works.
• “It was very strange, a feeling of neither pride nor vengeance...” How do you like me now, Ma?  Thanks a lot.

[civilinufan]

ROFL!

[Vladimir]

Heads up: I leave for the old homeplace on Sunday morning and probably won't get a chance to make a decent report until Monday.  But I'll get on it as soon as I can...

In the meantime, here's the chibi dressed like a Vegas showgirl.  Doesn't he look darling?

CV: You are tho atking for thethe peacock feathahth to get shoved up your ath.

[R.I.P.Novas]

Well, lets bring this to the surface shall we...

[Stoß]

[Vladimir]

(at a workstation in a public library... swarms of children and old people abound)
V: I'd like to apologize for the lateness of this update.  I foolishly assumed that I'd have regular access to a computer while I was home for Thanksgiving--(interrupted by argument in background)
OLD GEEZER: (throttling the hapless librarian) What the hell do you mean, I can't eat here!  My money ain't good enough fer you?  I killed me ten Ja.ps at Okinawa with a bottle-opener--don't think I still can't do a number on yer scrawny a--!
HAPLESS LIBRARIAN: Sir, I'm trying to tell you, this isn't the S&S Cafeteria!  That's across the street!
OG: Don't you tell me what to, you little sh-t!  Now get back in that kitchen and get me some d-mn oatmeal!  (suddenly, the old man is felled by a carp to the Achilles tendons... the librarian looks down to see her pint-sized savior)
HL: You saved my life!
CV: All in a day'th work.  Now where do you keep the gay artbookth?
V: >_<  Anyway, my little brother's workstation is so full of games and reports and crap it won't even start without freezing up... so here I am.  Frankly I wonder why I'm even doing this, as the last update only got one response.  Needless to say, this update is dedicated to civilinufan... and Novas as well... thanks for the ego boost.
(back to the help desk, where the librarian has a new problem)
CV: (turboslapping the HL)  DO! YOU! NOT! THPEAK! ENGWISH! I! NEED! NEKKID! MEN! NOW!
HL: I knew I should have accepted that contracting internship in Mosul!
V: I'll just let you people have the update while I coax the chibi away from the poor wage-slave.  Anybody out there got a Whatchamacallit?

Message Edited by Vladimir on 11-23-2004 02:04 PM

[Vladimir]

• Another peaceful Sunday morning in Tokyo... crows gather, gentle breezes blow, and androids commit suicide en masse.  Actually, I thought they were triplets at first.
• The Tachikoma is following obediently behind the car, without even the need for a hitch.  What a good girl!
• Now, I know they're invisible, but they're walking all over the plant... what if someone bumps into one of them?  "Think I'll lay off the blotter this weekend, Floyd, yesterday at work I bumped into a Tachikoma that wasn't there.
• They called the android "Jeri"?  Does it come with its own sock puppet? (A macaroon to whoever gets this joke first.)
• Shouldn't the plant manager suspect that Aramaki is communicating all this information to a third party via a neural link, considering that he's with a high-level intel and law enforcement agency?
• Tonight's cheesecake shot... unconscious android cheesecake, but cheesecake nonetheless.
• And nobody notices as Kusanagi and Tachi-san phase back in right in front of everybody.
• This is getting interesting... the first crime this series that's not related to high-ranking government officials... yet...
• I know these people can sort information at the speed of light, but 8000 user records... geez...
• Why does this Tachikoma remind me so much of Tetsuko from "Super Milk-chan"?
• I guess when you're in Section 9, you don't have to worry about hit-and-runs with cop cars.
• "He complimented me."  It's clear that Aramaki appreciates his staff, but he's rarely this upfront.
• The lair of the criminal... hey, he's pretty cute for a deranged mastermind.
• Note the projector and the screen: they're important on multiple levels...
• I don't see what's so bad about Geri.  She reminds me of R. Dorothy Wayneright.  Trivia question: what actress has she been modified to resemble (hint: she was more popular in France than America)?
• Italy... the perfect getaway for a master hacker on the run and his dated lovedoll.  For a hideaway, I suggest Poveglia, that little island off the Venetian coast that's supposed to be haunted.
• "Grief is a waste of time.  If it's between grief and emptiness, give me emptiness." Fine, but just make sure those aren't your only two options.
• As usual, the talking head on TV doesn't know shiitake mushrooms...
• Since Section 9 doesn't know everything involved here (yet), the idea that someone is trying to corner the market on an increasingly rare item is definitely worth considering.
• "Public service, what a joy." I just found this line and the inflection Crispin Freeman gave it funny as hell.
• When you're built like a tank (figuratively and quite possibly literally) and you carry a badge, subtlety isn't to be expected.
• Is it just me, or is this place much larger than your average Japanese apartment?
• If that projector and those film reels look old-fashioned now, they probably come off as nearly primordial here...
• Togusa may have limited cyberization, but with the proper equipment, he still gets the job done.
• Poor Borma.  He can't even run those scumbags in for a vice charge.
• "...but (McLaughlin) came home to Japan to avoid (Canada's) draft."  I don't know what happened, but I blame Bush... if only because it's fashionable.
• The rant about the sexism inherent in the construction and use of these fembots, is, of course, a priceless trompe l'oeil.  If anyone has the direct quotes for this part of the ep, I must have.
• "Then what do they make them do?"  I assumed your mama filled you in on that info when you were twelve.
• "You're always going to find someone who's nostalgic fro a piece of the past." In other words, everyone...
• "I'm not good with other women... when I'm around other women, I feel miserable." And now you're fleeing the country because of a crime you committed out of love for a glorified blow-up doll.  Hello, I got a phone call here for a Mr. Lou Zer...
• See, in the old days, Kusanagi would have to phone Aramaki, who would arrange a phony news announcement about road construction.  It still could have worked, but it would have been much harder to do and would have required Aramaki to call in some favors.
• Not only is the road out, it's not even there.  Friggin' Mapquest!
• In any other show, there'd be this firefight between Batou and McLaughlin as he and Jeri flee through the woods, with the girl inevitably taking a fatal bullet and making a final confession of love before passing.  McLaughlin's not the only one who's seen too many old movies.
• "Negotiation was always my specialty."  And it's a skill he so rarely gets to use.  Feel his pain.
• She had to dump him right here, right now... she couldn't have broken it off by fax or IM like normal people.
• Y'know, this breakup actually went pretty smoothly, considering law enforcement was involved.
• I know there's been Jean-Luc Godard allusions out the wazoo here, but this plotline reminds me a little of the Greek myth regarding Pygmalion, albeit a seriously twisted version.  Google it sometime.
• What's your problem, Batou?  Kusanagi's allowed to get mushy after hours.
• "Twentieth-century films are great; nothing beats 'em."  But if the last few years are any indication of what 21st century cinema has to offer, that's not really saying much.
• So it was all pre-recorded and rehearsed... or was it?

[civilinufan]

Keep it up!

[R.I.P.Novas]

Well, thanks for the dedication...and yet again, great work on the reviews...

I think the reason why not many people are posting is they are trying to keep this a "low roar" as you requested.  However, I think they brought it down a notch too low...

Lets kick it up a notch people...!

[BAM!]

[civilinufan]

Every week when I watch the show I always imagine what you will say about it.

[R.I.P.Novas]

Oh, I forgot to ask, since I am not sure if they have Pygmalion in theatres near where I live. 

I wonder if they have this play in VHS format, I cannot seem to find it.

[R.I.P.GuardianEatos]

---

Vladimir wrote:

You knew it was coming.  There was no helping and no stopping it.  We are proud to announce that the first segment of V and CV GITS Update will go up Sunday afternoon. Yjer mre u ombihitsyrf…

(slaps forehead)  Hey, chibi… how ‘bout giving that teleprompter an adjust?

(bump heard off screen)

CHIBI VLADIMIR: That’th what you get for buying thtuff at a powithe auction.  (turns to face camera)  Hewwo!  (flashes peace sign)

Thanks.  As I was trying to say, the Premiere Nights will give you the chance to watch these eps and read the thread in tandem… which you could do anyway if I had a decent home computer. (sigh)

Anyway, I don’t want this thread shuttered because someone mistakes it for yet another out-of-control RP, so we’re going to keep the extraneous chatter down to a dull roar.  We hope you’ll oblige us by doing the same.

Furthermore, I can’t promise I’ll be able to see this thing through to the end, as it’ll take a full year or more for all the episodes to play out… and this is a year in my life that may see some major changes. But I’ll try my best.  Wish me luck.

[let the games begin]

---

I'm not sure I understand what this thread is about, but I think you should know that it is unlikely for you to get a Ghost in the Shell card played on TV, being as Ghost in the Shell premeirs after all the cards are aired.

[civilinufan]

You don't understand. This is a humorous review of the episodes that he does.