Incoherent Babbling

[Norman_Greenbaum]

Gary Oldman loves winging his chowder, playing in powder, jacking four-barrel cars without any trousers. Used to be beat down, goes to show how you can get thrown down uptown.

[Castor_Aries]

"You look," Cyndi Lauper said, "like Wilbur Mercer."

"I am," Gary Oldman said. "I'm Wilbur Mercer; I've permanently fused with him."

[Norman_Greenbaum]

Wilbur Mercer pulled a comb from Gary Oldman's skin-tight Moroccon leather trousers. In the presence of pomade and hot tungsten, the comb gleamed. Gary Oldman pulled the oil-moist plastic fingers through Wilbur Mercer's tight curls. Kevin Costner tried to swallow the growing lump in his throat. Winona glanced at the growing lump in her jeans.

[Castor_Aries]

I'm afraid that I can't stop being Gary Oldman. Once you start it's too late to back off.

[Norman_Greenbaum]

Gary Oldman is your tool; Gary Oldman is your Phillips wrench. Gary Oldman would submit your work as his own if you let him, would refuse credit. Gary Oldman knows the only way to self-determination is the will to action, this is why Gary Oldman keeps a vial of contempt for those laggards who sit on shore when the ship is ready to weigh anchor.

-nt

[Castor_Aries]

Gary Oldman can never die, not in ten thousand years. Gary Oldman is immortal.

[Norman_Greenbaum]

Gary Oldman is numb: numb to your anti-asiatic ways, numb to the slippery Hong Kong smile on the end of that water bottle you only love, only too much.

[Castor_Aries]

The toad is the critter most precious to Gary Oldman, along with the donkey. But toads most of all.

[Norman_Greenbaum]

Gary Oldman is the weakness in this plan, the original intent...

[Castor_Aries]

So this is what Gary Oldman sees. Life which we can no longer distinguish; life carefully buried up to its forehead in the carcass of a dead world.

[Norman_Greenbaum]

No, in outer space, there is a Gary Oldman, but it's not the one you think. That Gary Oldman is a dead Gary Oldman, the kind we use here to unclog the sink.

The sink, the sink, don't leave me with the sink.

Oh God, not the sink, not that sink, not that Gary Oldman sink. Leave me, leave me to work the sink, the Gary Oldman ice skate sink.

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[Castor_Aries]

Once having seen through Gary Oldman's eyes, I probably will never stop.

[Norman_Greenbaum]

So I ask Andy: what do you think is next for Gary?

And Andy is all like: Gary?

Yeah, Andy, Gary.

Gary who?

Give me a break Andy. Gary Oldman. I know you read the thread.

So Andy's all like: yeah, I'm just messin' (who even says that?) probably some new Kevin Costner movie.

And that's when I knew Andy was just making fun of me.

[Castor_Aries]

"The legs of toads are weak," Gary Oldman said. "That's the main difference between a toad and a frog, that and water. A frog remains near water but a toad can live in the desert."

[Norman_Greenbaum]

Andy curled a lip. "There is no desert".

Gary Oldman immediately dropped his gaze, as if there was a stag  beetle lunching on the twine that held Gary Oldman's shoes together. A long moment passed, the kind where MacGyver considers his next move.

Gary Oldman, weary from his time in the Pontiac, asked, "Andy, how do I get to Monument Valley?"

[Castor_Aries]

Gary Oldman said it was wrong but I should do it anyhow. Really weird. Sometimes it's better to do something wrong than right.

[Norman_Greenbaum]

If Gary Oldman taught me anything, it was to nap responsibly, It has been my own failings that have embarassed me hence.

[The_Siberian_Captain]

I liked him in The Firm.

[Castor_Aries]

For a toad Gary Oldman suggests a perpetually renewing puddle, unless it's a horned toad, in which case a kit containing sand, multicolored pebbles, and bits of organic debris will do fine. And if you're going to be putting it through its feed cycle regularly, Gary Oldman suggests you arrange a periodic tongue adjustment. In a toad that's vital.

[Norman_Greenbaum]

If there were more than a deuce's bait of Gary Oldman, we'd finger the trollop.

[Castor_Aries]

Gary Oldman is free.

He is Anonymous.

He is Legion.

He does not forgive.

HE DOES NOT FORGET.

Expect him.

[Norman_Greenbaum]

Gary Oldman gave his underpants to his mom. The pride felt in the lack of brown stains is something Andy and David forget from time to time.

[Castor_Aries]

There are three Gary Oldmans -- Good Gary Oldman, Bad Gary Oldman, and Crazy Gary Oldman. They can all serve aces.

[Norman_Greenbaum]

Don't you want some Gary Oldman to love? Don't you need some Gary Oldman to love? You better find some Gary Oldman to love.

[Castor_Aries]

A silhouette of Gary Oldman is all you wanna see. You know that nothing is for free-yee-yee-yee.