This is the title of a book.
Well, not really, but it should be.
Could you imagine?
I mean not reading the book, books are boring.
Just Jesus in casual pants.
Wouldn't that be awesome?
They might even be stain resistant.
Could Jesus get a stain?
Why is Jesus even spilling on himself?
I wouldn't have thought he'd be the messy type.
Just think about all the fricken times he musta spilt his wine and was all, "Crap! I just stained my favorite robe!"
See, this is why he wears chinos now.
With sandals.
Yeah, he totally wears sandals year round.
In the snow even.
He doesn't care it's cold, he's Jesus.
Then again, he might not like the snow, he is from the middle east.
It's hot as hell there, he doesn't just wear that robe as a fashion statement, you know.
I mean, you put him inside air conditioning and he's totally out of style.
Robes just aren't awesome style these days unless you're Hugh Hefner.
Hef could pull off a robe anytime.
Robes and pyjamas.
Do you think Jesus wears pyjamas?
Silk ones, like Hef wears.
And then he totally has a white robe over the top of his pyjamas.
Only not a middle eastern style robe, like reading the newspaper style.
Yeah, Jesus built for total comfort, fresh from bed.
That's the ticket.
With slippers.
Jesus is like that, you know.
Well, you don't know, you've never met him.
He's been dead for a while and nobody has managed to turn him into a zombie.
But then again, since Jesus saves, would Zombie Jesus turn himself alive again?
What would happen if a zombie was a vegetarian in life before they died?
Do they still eat brains?
Probably not, although the tofu would be boned.
Then you'd get zombie tofu.
I mean what are you going to do when zombie tofu starts attacking?
Shoot it? The stuff is designed to be split up anyway.
Tofu doesn't even have a head, man.
No head!
It's some scary shit when tofu starts going on zombie rampages.
You can't even kill it by eating it because then you'd become a zombie too.
Plus, as gross as it is normally, it probably is 100 times worse zombie flavored.
Yuck.
Crap, I lost my train of thought.
Now I gotta wait for the next train and that's not for another hour.
Luckily there's a snack bar in this train station.
Do they have spicy cheese doodles?
I hope they do, or maybe giant pretzels.
Yeah, that's the ticket, giant pretzel.
Now I could use one.
It's not really my ticket, though.
That's just silly, trying to board a train with a pretzel as your ticket.
Just wait until the guys comes through to check your ticket.
What's he gonna do, punch a hole in my pretzel?
Rediculous, he'd just glob up the hole puncher.
It would be totally fucked for the rest of the day.
I can't do that to the ticket checker guy, he's just doing his job.
Nope, I gotta buy a real ticket, made from paper.
I just hope I make this train.
i think that's all.
BEHOLD! The truth shall be known!
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