Lucy, Daughter of the Devil

[SwimMod_Luuv]

The High Emperor sets the agenda for the Knights of Swim in all its varied folderdoms and provinces.

The post of High Emperor is turning over for the 2012 Apocalypse.

A new High Emperor will be named based on the votes of the knights and the regular folks who feel like voting on it.

The winners of each folder will then square off against each other in their respective "general" folder.  

The winner of the final vote will be the new High Emperor of the Knights of Swim, and that's whose voice I will speak with when setting the Knights agenda.

Voting:

You can vote once per folder (one time in Aqua Something, one time in Birdman, one time in Sealab etc etc).

You can only vote only once per folder, and you can't change your vote.  So once you've posted your vote in any given voting thread, it's locked in.

The higher the Knight rank, the more the vote is worth.  Regular users can also vote.

Questioning the Candidates:

To help you decide, if you are on the fence, you may pose questions to candidates.  You may pose them to all candidates in general, or to individual candidates, or to any single or subgroup of candidates you wish to address them to.  You can also try to get them to promise things in exchange for your vote.

[SwimMod_Luuv]

Meet the Candidates:

Special Father Giuseppe Cantalupi:

Platform:  "In the year of our Lord 2012, we were faced with a great apocalypse.  Dark forces were aligned to strike, with only a few committed souls standing between them and the utter destruction of the Human race."

Tagline:  "Tipacanoe and Satan too."

DJ Jesus: 

Platform:  "Come with me, and you'll be in a world of pure imagination.  Take a look, and you'll see, Into your imagination.  We'll begin with a spin, traveling in the world of my creation.  What we'll see will defy explanation.  If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it.  Anything you want to, do it.  Wanta change the world?  There's nothing to it.  There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination, living there, you'll be free, if you truly wish to be." 

Tagline:  "Escape with Jesus into a world of pure imagination."

Lucy: 

Platform:  "I like to think of myself as the spoiler candidate.  I don't really care if I win, but if I do, nobody else will win."

Tagline:  "Don't vote for anybody.  Vote for Lucy."

Special Sister Mary:

Platform:  "Fire and brimstone!"

Tagline:  "KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!"

Satan:

Platform:  "I like tacos.  I wear sweaters a lot because I'm always cold.  Could be that I'm just getting old.  And no that wasn't an intentional rhyme, sometimes they just come out of me.  Like some of my most inspired schemes really are born from almost no thought at all.  Like this bid for the High Emperor thing.  I didn't really put any thought into it at all, I just did it.  And that's what a leader does.  He doesn't worry about the consequences.  He just jumps in with booth hooves and does it.  And I did not mispeak when I said 'hooves' instead of 'feet'.  That was intentional.  It was my subtle way of saying you should vote for the candidate that has hooves instead of feet, which is me."

Tagline:  "Vote for the candidate with hooves instead of feet, which is me."

[itsacoaster]

Where is Senator Whitehead? Certainly he would throw his name in the hat.

I would write in his name in exchange for being the first openly Satanic candidate.

[SwimMod_Luuv]

Senator Whitehead can't be a Senator AND High Emperor.  That would be conflict of - like habeus interest.  or something.

ch - what r u thinking?

[itsacoaster]

Well if he were High Emperor, he wouldn't have to care about petty topics like conflict of interest.

That's the whole point of becoming High Emperor: not caring.

[Korosvich]

I got a few questions for the candidates.

Satan if you are high emperor, what benifits will we receive? I want some of those sweet black magic skills I hear all about.

DJ if you are elected can I borrow your car, or atleast get a ride to that party you told me about? Also how many parties we talking if you are in charge?

[SwimMod_Luuv]

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Korosvich wrote:

Satan if you are high emperor, what benifits will we receive? I want some of those sweet black magic skills I hear all about.

---

"Well, as you know, I'm nothing if not known for my 'you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours' life philosophy.  Which is also why I don't wear polyester, which you would think I'd be into, but I'm not.  For some reason it always makes me feel itchy when I wear it."

---

Korosvich wrote:

DJ if you are elected can I borrow your car, or atleast get a ride to that party you told me about? Also how many parties we talking if you are in charge?

---

"Hey man, if I had a car, it'd be all yours, but I don't drive.  I usually get rides from hot chicks.  I can give you some numbers if you promise not to mention my name."

"As far as parties go, nobody parties like the DJ Jesus.  Not the Dhali Lama, not the Pope, not even Mother Theresa herself, who was subcanonized as the patron saint of partying down in the 80s, when partying down was what they called it, can hold a candle to yours truly when it comes to parties."