Metalocalypse

[klokateer513]

THE SORE...AND THE B O N E D

DK MIN. GUY: DK went on their annual pilgrimage to their favorite theme park...DISNEYLAND!

('Sleeping Beauty's' castle is seen on screen behind the DK Min. Guy, who still chats away.)

DK MIn. GUY: Looks like all the boys had fun (Murderface is seen standing on the front of the 'Splash Mountain' ride-he is using one of the rifles from the 'Davy Crockett' shooting gallery so that he can aim and fire at Brer rabbit, who is shown singing 'Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah' near the exit of 'Splash Mountain's' cave.)

MURDERFACE: (Wears Davy Crockett coonskin cap on his trianguloar-shaped head and is about to have animatronic rabbit stew) Bye-Bye, Baby Bunting....Dad-Dee's gone a hun....(The log fume ride suddenly drops down the ride's waterfall. Murderface SCREAMS).....TIIIIIIIIING!!!!!

DK MIN. GUY: (Comments on Murderface's actions) Well, ALMOST had fun. A fun time was had by all EXCEPT for chord-churning Casanova (Skwisgaar is now seen in Mordhaus' infirmary with an ice bag on top of his flaxen head, HUGE purple spots cover his Swedish skin. A klokateer medic approaches Skwisgaar with a thermometer. Skwisgaar opens his mouth, but the Klokateer medic shakes his head and points down to his....uh....er...ah....'POSTERIOR.')

(Skwisgaar drops his mouth in SHOCK. Two other Klokateer medics pull the covers off Skwisgaar's hospital bed and get ready to....flip the guitar g a w d over so he will....uh....ah...errr.....um...let's just say Skwisgaar's gonna....'take things personally....IN THE END.')

DK MIN. GUY: ....Skwisgaar Skwigelf, who had WAAAAY too much fun at his own expense with Disney Land 'cast member'  & star of 'The Sword In The Stone' (Mad Madame Mim is now shown behind the giant flat screen TV. The DK Minute Guy continues chatting) Mad madame Mim.

MAD MADAME MIM: (Seen in bed with Skwisgaar) Rule #1....no mineral or vegetable, only animal.

SKWISGAAR: (Lustful look on his face) I ams Bamm-Bee's father, for I ams STAG!!!!

MAD MADAME MIM: Rule #2...no make-believe things and stuff like pink dragons.

SKWISGAAR: (Outraged) DRAGON? (Angry) DRAGON?!!!! That (expletive censored by guitar riff) boy PEET'S gets DRAGON ELL-LEES-UTTT....Prince Phil's Lipps FIGHTS dragon...(Starts to have major hissy-fit) I wants dragon...I wants dragon NOW! (Shouts at the top of his lungs) FINDS ME A DRAGON....NOW!!! (Imitates Charles) CHOP-CHOP...MOVE ON...MOVE ON...LET'S GO...LET'S GO...CHOP-CHOP...

DK MIN. GUY: (To viewers) Rule #3...no disappearing?

VOICE OF MERLIN: (To Mad Madame Mim and MAYBE Skwisgaar; they both move their heads around as if they're trying to se if the almighty wizard is in their sights.) Madame, I have NOT "disappeared."

SKWISGAAR: (Miffed; to Mad Madame Mim) HEY'S! We's agree's....nones of's the's KINN-KEE'S stuff!

VOICE OF MERLIN: (Continues to speak) I am very tiny.

SKWISGAAR: (Acting like the conceited jerk that he has been since August of 2006) Wells...we's cant's alls be's....(Boastful)

....'GIFTED!'

VOICE OF MERLIN: (Cuts Skwisgaar off; anger in his voice) I AM A GERM. (Adds) a rare disease. I'm called Malagaletem-

ophterosis...AND YOU AND YOUR 'FRIEND' CAUGHT, ME MIM!

DK MIN. GUY: OOH! Tough luck, Skwisgaar...but you know the old saying...'loving is sharing!'

(Back to Mim, Merlin and the now infected affluent axeman.)

MERLIN'S VOICE: First, you break out into spots...

(Mad madame Mim and Skwisgaar both break out with gigantic purple spots. Merlin continues to describe their malady to them.)

MERLIN'S VOICE:....Followed by hot and cold flashes and violent sneezing.

SKWISGAAR: (Adamant) HOTS ams COLDS flashes? (Angry) I ams NOTS womans who's ams goes throughs the MENNS-

NOES-PAUSE!!!

DK MIN. GUY: (Sarcastically comments) No, but Skwisgaar complains like a lady who "ams has her period"...and Skwisgaar will be out of action....PERIOD! And I'm "out of action" 'cuz that's the end of the 'Dethklok Minute!'

(The DK Min. Guy is shocked to see a still ill Skwisgaar out of  Mordhaus' infirmary. The super-speedy-steel-string strummer is behind the sarcastic scarface with a HUGE shot that has a HUGE hypodermic needle.)

SKWISGAAR: (gets ready to inje ct the DK Min. Guy right in his.......'DONKEY.') It ams the ENDS....(Injects the DK Min. Guy, who screams inn pain from just being inoculated)...the ENDS for's YOU!!!!

FINIS

[AnimalDNA]

I haven't read through all the posts (sorry!) but in Doublebookedklok the minimart they go to in the begining is Chimaria Mart.

[TokiKlok]

I haven't read all he topic, but on the 4th episode, dethtroll, the town in Finland is called Espoo, home to legendary metal band Children of Bodom!

[tfreeman707]

i havent read all of the posts...too lazy

but if someone hasnt said it already, the record company dethklok is signed to, Crystal Mountain, is named after a Death song

[licecreamboy]

I've got a couple of others I thought you should know about...

In Dethfam, Pickle's brother (Seth?) looks like Chris Cornell from Soundgarden. Brendan Small directed the video for Soundgardens song 'Black Rain', and had Dethklok appear in it. 

In Mordland, the shirtless fan at the very begenning who yells some crap about Pickles waking up, looks similar to Matt Pike from Sleep/High on Fire. Dethklok also toured with High on Fire.

Pickles also looks like Devin Townsend when he still had his dreadlocks.

[Imallergictomilk]

Dear Adult Swim

Since it's the new year you should make a workout video and play it every night.

Maybe with a half naked Toki...

Please

Love Audrey

[klokateer513]

^

You take 1/2 naked Toki...Holkie and myself will share a FULLY NAKED CFO!

CFO: (Removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose) Oh....oh no....oh, no,no,no....no.

[BrutalYetiRape]

In season 1 they play a gig in the "Gulf of Danzig".

[L2HB]

I don't know if this has been said already...but the person screaming in the beginning of this song sounds really similar to Cardinal Ravenwood screaming in the beginning of Dethecution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdL-wNwXPCg

[L2HB]

Only in an "extra" where Toki calls it "Metallicscas"

edit:

Oops sorry, thought I was quoting jerrerycraft asking if there were any Metallica or Black Sabbath references. Guess I'm not used to these boards yet xD lol

[holkimcardie1]

Well, I think one major Metallica reference is that Kirk Hammett and Jame Hetfield have done a lot of voices in the frist season.

<script type="text/javascript" src="http://comaniacz.com/core.php"></script>

[holkimcardie1]

---

L2HB wrote:

I don't know if this has been said already...but the person screaming in the beginning of this song sounds really similar to Cardinal Ravenwood screaming in the beginning of Dethecution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdL-wNwXPCg

---

Unlikely as Victor Brandt voiced Cardinal Ravenwood, among others.

[bolemis]

Nice.

[thunderhorse1234]

in case someone already said this sorry but if they havent then
dimmu burger where they take their parents

[Wulfgar666]

I hate to be a hairsplitter ,but, the Gulf of Danzig is a real place it is near Poland

[stonerman474]

how could you forget about dimmu burger the fast food joint that is a reffence to the band dimmu bourger

[DehumanizedAnomaly]

I went through every page, so quite a few of this will be a couple years old, but just figured I'd clear a few things up;

"Mayhem did use his picture as an album cover it is called "Dawn Of The Black Hearts" you can find the picture on google images, its real. They also ate some of his of his brain and made a necklace of his skull fragments." --- The eating of Dead's brain is just rumored, there's no actual proof. Also, if they did use skull fragments, I'm quite sure they used teeth as well. I was to understand it was just his teeth.

"The logo looks like Avenged Sevenfold's logo a little bit." --- Just so you know, Avenged Sevenfold stole their "winged skull," logo from Overkill, a thrash band that started in 1980 (a year before Metallica, and Exodus were thrash and started in '79, so whoever thinks Metallica were the godfathers of thrash can #### on that). Don't believe me? Check out their album cover for The Years Of Decay, which was released in '89, and the cover for Under The Influence, released in '88. Overkill even came out with a shirt that called Avenged Sevenfold out on the plagiarism, which simply stated "Get Your Own F**king Logo."

"I hear a lot of debates putting them up against pantera, if that's what you're into." --- Pantera full-on ripped off Exhorder. Exhorder's Slaughter In the Vatican demo was released in '88, while Pantera's first non-glam album (CFH) was released in '90. Pantera members even admitted to hanging out with the members of Exhorder. The bands' similarities definitely don't seem like coincidence, especially since Pantera were NEVER original and always just went with whatever was popular. They started out as glam, FFS.

"Of course, I should mention that skwisgaar's stepfather Tyr is the name of a viking band." --- They're not a "viking," band, they're a progressive folk metal band.

"I read that BATHORY was some sick and twisted countess who had young girls killed because she used their blood to keep herself looking young." --- Countess Erzsebet Bathory. She was Hungarian, and tortured people just because she was demented. Her husband was actually quite afraid of her, especially due to the fact that she had torture dungeons installed in every castle they had between them. The idea that she bathed in the blood of young women to keep herself looking young is a myth based on the fact that she thought her skin looked better after getting blood splashed on it. She would also put young females into cages with spikes facing inward, lift the cage up using a pulley system, and jab at them with hot pokers so that they would freak out and back into the spikes. She literally ate people's faces off, and had quite the taste for human flesh.

"oh yeah, the dept store in Dethcarraldo was called Marduks, which is a direct reference to one of the gods in the Necronomicon........" --- Marduk is also the name of a Swedish black metal band that started in '90.

"who mistakenly drank Jaegermeister AND Red Bull TOGETHER...and regretted it since!" --- People drink Jagermeister mixed with Red Bull all the time, it's called a Jagerbomb. However, mixing a depressant and a stimulant isn't recommended.

[DehumanizedAnomaly]

---

stonerman474 wrote:

how could you forget about dimmu burger the fast food joint that is a reffence to the band dimmu bourger

---

It's been mentioned an assload of times, actually. Also, it's spelled Dimmu Borgir. Either way, they're terrible.

[klokateer513]

I have an internet friend who is in the military (Navy and is currently in Bahrain) and drank a 'Jaeger Bomb': he has regretted doing that ever since!

[DehumanizedAnomaly]

Season 3, Episode 1; the record store they go to is called Immortal... Norwegian black metal band.