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SwimNerd
Offdensen
Posts: 191
Registered: ‎11-10-2009
0

Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Hello, as you can see, I've made my re-appearance, lol. 

 

Just wanted to say, we're still going strong and the boys have decided to make things more brutal and darker.  In honor of the resumation of the show in August they're going back to their roots and am issuing challenges to all fans and Gears all over--to come partake of the brutality of Dethklok at our boards.  www.mordhausmania.yuku.com.  Dethchat will also be resuming August 23, so be prepared.  All are welcome so come and enjoy.

 

Oh yes, Nathan says go die.

This is good brandy.

http://www.myspace.com/charlesfofdensen
http://www.mordhausmania.yuku.com
SwimHELPeR
holkimcardie1
Posts: 14,172
Registered: ‎02-13-2005
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to Offdensen - Message ID#: 55055427

And tell Natey that I love him, too!  :robotwink:

/prepares to go hide deep in the hills/

~ Dethklok Roadie #149 (female) ~ Red Tie Coven # 1 ~ Toki's Candygirl #2 ~ S.H.O.T.T.S. #51 ~ Dethklok Minute Reporter ~
katt_goddess wrote:~~I have not yet begun to weird.~~I still have puff paint left.
SwimSuperfan
klokateer513
Posts: 3,536
Registered: ‎09-21-2009
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to holkimcardie1 - Message ID#: 55057869

A big bag of Cool Ranch Doritos for the boys (remember: don't interrupt Nathan when he's eating them) and the BEST brandy in a diamond-cut decanter for everyone's favorite bread 'n butter!

SwimNerd
mordhaus-online
Posts: 314
Registered: ‎04-20-2009
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to klokateer513 - Message ID#: 55070483

Klokateer 513, if ya want, us boys are always on th' forums an' in chat more often than nat, so if ya gat sem free taime durin' th' day, feel free to come on over! We'd love t'have ya there again. We have a new place where you kin rp as th' boys or rp WITH us. semthin' we shoulda started months an' months back!

 

I guarantee ya you'll have a wonderful taime.

Pickles th' dremmer frem mordhausmania.yuku.com

www.myspace.com/picklesdethklok
www.facebook.com/picklesdethklok
www.mordhausmania.yuku.com - the brutal forum/live dethchat/home of the DethKon 2011.
SwimSuperfan
klokateer513
Posts: 3,536
Registered: ‎09-21-2009
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to mordhaus-online - Message ID#: 55122167

For worse...or for WORSE:

 

MEETING OF THE MINDFUL!

 

Offdensen is seated at his desk inside his office. CFO is seated in an executive chair facing Offdensen.

 

OFFDENSEN: Cigar? Brandy?

 

Suddenly, as if they came from out of nowhere, the Yardwolves appear. One Yardwolf sits near CFO...the other goes to Offdensen and is about to pick up the brandy's carafe with its mouth.

 

Offendsen makes a face to the Yardwolf, only to be met with an intimidating growl.

 

Offdensen self-consciously backs off, knowing NOT to mess with the fangs of...FENRIR!

 

CFO: (To Offdensen) Fenrir's an angry drunk. (Pays his attention to the ohter Yardwolf) Lupa's a social drinker.

 

Fenrir picks up the brandy's container with his mouth and then trots away from Offdensen's office. Lupa follows her mate out.

 

OFFDENSEN: Well, I suppose that leaves the cigars.

 

CFO: Uh....this is a fan-fic. (Adds) A Dethklok fan-fic...(Also adds)...a Dethklok fan-fic written by...(Slight Pause)...Klokateer 5-13?

 

OFFDENSEN: (Lights up cigars-he totally ignores CFO's warning) You know me and the boys at Mordhaus Online offered an invite to Klokateer 5-13 weeks ago. (Puts cigar to his mouth) She hasn't answered m-

 

The cigar explodes right in Offdensen's face. CFO wears a bemused grin, but Offdensen has an annoyed look on his bespectiled face.

 

CFO: (Tries to hide a 'I-told-you-so- expression on his bespectiled face...w/o much success) See my concern?

 

OFFDENSEN: (Tries to fan the cigar's explosive smoke away with his hand) Klokateer 5-13 is good for the business...the business of Mordhaus Online.

 

CFO: But on HER terms...(Slight pause)...the terms being she gets to do what she pleases w/o any reprimands. Holkie knows all too much about it...

 

Flash to Holkie's Hacienda: Tyrant T. Tabby, Lord and Leader of the Dethklok Home For Wayward Kitties, is teaching the Noelly Rolly Kittens to latest in how to be a cat.

 

TYRANT T. TABBY: You wanna make a GAGGING sound when you cough the FURBALL up...it's best when the HUMAN'S not around...they'll put a NEWSPAPER or FLYER in front of you so's you hafta cough on that. (SHOUTS) FIGHT THAT TEMPTATION! (Evil, evil cat-that-ate-the canary-bird smile on his furry-purry lips) Now...gag that furball on the human's BEDSHEETS...that way, the human HAFTA wash the bedsheets...(Gloats)...and we cats get to SLEEP on nice, warm sheets!

 

The Noelly-Rolly Kittens cough and gag up furballs.

 

KITTEN #1: Lord Ty-waant...issit troo 'bout cats an' waa-sheeng mack-ines?

 

KITTEN #2: (Excited) I wanna ride inda wass-eeng muh-chine!

 

TYRANT T. TABBY: You SLEEP in the washing machine...you don't RIDE in the washing machine. Cats RIDE in the human's car...SCREAMING AND YELLING...when we're going to the VET. Remember what I say about the vet: when the vet looks away, SWAT the shot RIGHT AT HIM OR HER...that way, the VET's the one who gets the SHOT!

 

NOELLY-ROLLY KITTENS: (Cheer) YAY!

 

HOLKIE'S VOICE: (Sing-song) I'm hooooo....(Holkie appears and sees the Noelly Rolly Kittens yakking up furballs all over her bedspread. She becomes irate and SCREAMS at the top of her authoritative lungs)

 

HOLKIE: (ANGRY) KLOKATEER 5-13!!!!

 

The image of Holkie's dear, departed cat, Bruce, appears.

 

BRUCE: Nope...(Evil look on his face...so evil, his eyes turn red)...just us cats.

 

Bruce, Tyrant and the Noelly Rolly Kittens snicker a la Sebastian from 'Josie and the Pussycats'

 

Back at Offdensen's office...

 

OFFDENSEN: Cats are cats. People...are different.

 

CFO: As in embarrassing cartoon characters for the sake of their stories?

 

The home of Blood Hawk 1991. Blood Hawk 1991 answers a private message from Adult Swim when all of a sudden...

 

NATHAN: (Kicks Blood Hawk 1991's front door down and announces in his usual roaring voice-for some oddball reason, he is dressed like a Viking) DETHKLOK COMEDIC TRIBUTE BAND...(Raspy, intimidating roar) KOO-KOO KLOK!

 

TOKI: (Enters frame of what used to be the front door; he is also dressed up as a Viking) I's has a structed payment, but's I's needs cash now...

 

NATHAN & TOKI: (Singing in unison) CALL J.G. WENTWORTH!

 

MURDERFACE: (Enters-he looks like he's dressed as Hagar the Horrible) 877-CASH-NOW!

 

SKWISGAAR: (Arrives; also decked out as a Viking; sings) I's ams have annuity, but's I needs cash now!

 

NATHAN, TOKI, MURDERFACE & SKWISGAAR: (Singing in unison) CALL J.G. WENTWORTH!

 

PICKLES: (Enters, he is dressed like a Vi....yeah-yeah...you get the picture. Holds up a Viking shield and sings) 877-CASH-NOW!

 

NATHAN: (Sings) 877-CASH-NOW!

 

(Dead silence)

 

NATHAN: (Temporarily exits; he yells at an unknown person) GET IN HERE! (Nathan yanks and pulls CFO...who...embarrassingly enough...is dressed...as BRUNHILDE...a Valkyrie (female Viking).

 

CFO: (Red-in-the-face...redder than his 'power tie'...sings his line) CALL J.G. WENTWORTH.

 

CFO & DK: (Singing in unison) 877-CASH-NOW...CALL NOW!

 

Back at the office o' Offdensen:

 

OFFDENSEN: (Now has the look of uneasiness) I.....(Very, very, long pause)....see.

 

CFO: You still want Klokateer 5-13 to be a frequent visitor to Mordhaus Online...knowing everything I just told you?

 

OFFDENSEN: (Dismissive) As I said, Klokateer 5-13 is good...

 

CFO: (Interrupts)...Is good for the business. (gets up from the executive chair) Well, I see that this meeting was a mistake.

My presence went nowhere. Still, it was nice doing business with you...(Extends hand as if to shake Offdensen's hand)...

despite the outcome.

 

OFFDENSEN: (Gets up to shake CFO's hand...but is unaware that his posterior..aka...butt...looks like the butt of a Mattel Ken doll...it has the old round serrated Mattel seal, make, model and number printed) I will see you and the boys when Metalocalypse has their second 1/2 season premiere September 26th.

 

CFO: (Catches a glimpse of Offdensen's Mattel-molded booty...and wears a Mona Lisa smile) NOTED!

 

FINIS

SwimHipster
NoelyRolly
Posts: 1,314
Registered: ‎01-06-2010
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to klokateer513 - Message ID#: 55281235

dude I LOVE that commertail i always see it after Jerry Springer. i love it. now i love it EVEN more...Wow wee the kittens return....
Dethklok Roadie #519. (chick)
Im the Rolliest Noely.:smileyhappy:✡im Jewish!✡
#1 Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin fan. (")

I promote and support BrokeTrek

Ladies do NOT start fights but they can finish them...
SwimSuperfan
klokateer513
Posts: 3,536
Registered: ‎09-21-2009
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to NoelyRolly - Message ID#: 55295373

:smileytongue: Glad I made you happy yesterday!

 

The kittens do something SINISTER to YOUR MOTHER (check pvt. message)!!!

SwimHipster
NoelyRolly
Posts: 1,314
Registered: ‎01-06-2010
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to klokateer513 - Message ID#: 55307137

:smileysurprised: oooOoooo

u ams funny
Dethklok Roadie #519. (chick)
Im the Rolliest Noely.:smileyhappy:✡im Jewish!✡
#1 Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin fan. (")

I promote and support BrokeTrek

Ladies do NOT start fights but they can finish them...
SwimSuperfan
klokateer513
Posts: 3,536
Registered: ‎09-21-2009
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to NoelyRolly - Message ID#: 55307311

^

CFO: Noted.

 

(I'll send you a pvt. message...right now, I'm going through the boards)

SwimNerd
Offdensen
Posts: 191
Registered: ‎11-10-2009
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to klokateer513 - Message ID#: 55307379

Oh my...
This is good brandy.

http://www.myspace.com/charlesfofdensen
http://www.mordhausmania.yuku.com
SwimSuperfan
klokateer513
Posts: 3,536
Registered: ‎09-21-2009
0

Re: Mordhaus Online Board Updates

Reply to Offdensen - Message ID#: 55577273

^

Beware, Offdee....BEWARE (Mr. Molded Mattel Butt.....hee-hee-hee)!!!!