UN A-PEEL-LING
BY: Klokateer 5-13
When last left, DK and their lawyer/manager/stoopid sloppy drunk getter/pal-arounder/CFO CFO where going bananas over...
bananas!
Well...banana stickers, actually.
The potassium party suddenly gets crashed: Holkie, dressed like Carmen Miranda and wearing a GIANT tutti-fruitti hat on her crimson head o' hair, shakes her groove thang in front of an embarrassed CFO's bespectiled face.
HOLKIE: (Shaking her rattles; sings) I'm Chiquita banana and I've come to say!
Bananas have to ripen in a certain way!
NATHAN: (Whispers to Pickles) OVER-ripen!
Pickles nods in agreement...Holkie still makes a fool outr of herself.
HOLKIE: When they are flecked brown spots & have a golden hue
Bananas taste best and are best for YOU!
PICKLES: (Puzzled) Brown spots? When I SMOKE dem, I get PURP-PLE...or HAWT PINK...
HOLKIE: (Still singing to CFO, who reaches for his desk drawer and takes out a Costco-sized bottle of ibprofen) You can put them in a salad...
(Holkie does something completely SHOCKING and APPAULING and could get her booted from her AS moderator duties:
she IMMEDIATELY lifts up her Carmen Miranda dress and does her own Serveta Skwisgaar non-Christmas flashing at CFO, who takes off his glasses and pinches his nose)
HOLKIE: You can put them in a ...(LOTS OF EMPHASIS)...PIE-AYE!!!
Toki immediately throws up. Murderface leers at Holkie and tries to have his way with her, but he literally and figuratively gets pie...in his face. Skwisgaar closes his eyes and plays his Gibson Explorer nervously...Nathan stares down at his banana, and tosses it over his burly shoulder.
PICKLES: Sumtimes I see RED spots....or yella...
HOLKIE: (Singing) Any way you want to (Another blantant sexual reference) 'EAT" them...It's IMPOSSIBLE to (Innuendo...blah-blah-blah) BEAT them!
CFO: (Whines...loooks like he's about to cry) HELP ME!
NATHAN: (Films his 'father figure' with a video camera) We would...but it's just too FUNNY!
HOLKIE: (Singing) But, bananas, like the climate of the very, very tropical equator!
So you should NEVER put bananas...IN THE REFRIDGERATOR!
Suddenly and without any warning to Holkie, a pair of unknown hands spring up from CFO's desk, grab her and throw her in CFO's brandy refrigerator. Then, the mysterious hands are revealed: those hands are...MINE!
K 5-13 is dressed...stupidly and ridiculously...in bananas with a rope-like string sewn though them: she is SUPPOSED to resemble Josephine Baker wearing her infamous banana dress and doing her even more infamous banana dance!)
K 5-13 sings to CFO...badly...in French. (She strip teases by pulling off the bananas very, VERY SLOOOOOWLY and one...by....one.
CFO: (Lets out a LOUD moan)
NATHAN: (Shakes his raven head; to CFO) You've got the weirdest fans!
CFO: (Puts head on desk; feeling defeated) HELP ME!
PICKLES: Sumtimes, I see PINK ELLA-PHANTS!
TOKI: (Puzzled) On PARADE?
FINI...for now CFO has to recover.
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