Squidbillies

[Explosivo_420]

that's right, YOU!

If you have something to say about an episode, I want to hear about it. All the episodes are listed here, just go to the thread and throw out your favorite quote, your favorite part, or maybe some insight into said episode. just say something!

EPISODES

season one 

 

---

101 - This Show is Called Squidbillies :

This is the first one. The introduction to the Cuyler clan and the townsfolk of dougal county.

discussion thread

"The sheriff's head is covered in meth at which point it melts off and Liz is quick with the reply, "Smoke his head!!!" or something along those lines. I remember that part and how it viciously split my sides." -Leostenbuck

"Hey lil you know what that methlab looks like to me? the mortal eye of god collapsing into itself forever warmed in a sea of neverending oneness less we forget(faster and faster until..) .... im saved!!!!!" HAHA THE SHERIFF WAS WAY FUBAR HAHA" - HiGhC

---

102 - Take this Job and Love it!:

Early is fired and begins a pathetic search for parole-appeasing employment.

Somehow he lands a CEO position with Dan Halen Sheetrock International.

discussion thread

"omg! the name of his work was "**bleep** mattress" pahahahahaha that had me cracking up"  daREMONSTA

"I am now officially in love with squidbillies. "Read dis erotic sumbitch here" L-M-freaking-F-A-O" -SwimIdiot

---

• School Days, Fool Days: The Cuylers are compelled to begin home-schooling for Rusty. Weird things happen on prom night.


• Chalky Trouble: A racism-rally is held in the backyard as Grand Wizard Granny leads a bonfire to burn the white-man's things in effigy.


• Family Trouble: Rusty is finally reunited with his super-fat white momma, Krystal. Somehow, she is unsure who the father is. Or that she was pregnant.


• Office Politics Trouble: Early's homebrew "GLUG" is picked up for mass production by Dan Halen. The new drink is "so gooood" so sayeth the mexican guy making it.

Season 1 (part II) (summaries provided by ZorakFan7231)

• Government Brain Voodoo Trouble - Early and The Sheriff go to see a therapist after Early steps over the line, where more lines are stepped over when the therapist is not who he seems.


• Butt Trouble - Early takes Rusty hunting to make a man out of him, after Rusty makes a few dozen eggs over the night.


• Double Truckin' the Tricky Two - After rigging the lottery time and time again, Dan Halen allows the Cuyler clan to win the lottery. But not the lottery you're thinking of.


• Swayze Crazy - A man posing as Patrick Swayze pulls one over on the Cuyler clan, with Rusty being the only one with suspicions.


• Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble - Early's offensive new hat saves his life after an accident, which makes him see the light and turn over a new leaf for about 11 minutes.


• Meth O.D. to my Madness - Early acquires some property, but unable to pay for it he relies on Lil's meth lab operation to make some dough.


• The Tiniest Princess - On Halloween night, the Cuyler clan have run-ins with monster after monster.


• Asses to Ashes, Sluts to Dust - Granny needs a gallbladder and Early and Rusty must find some money to pay for a transplant.


• Bubba Trubba - The Cuylers' learn a huge secret about their favorite comedian, Plummer Bubba.


• Burned and Reburned Again - A domestic disturbance leads to martial bliss which leads to more domestic disturbances for Early and Krystal.


• Terminus Trouble -Early, Rusty and The Sheriff all go down to Atlanta when Early eventually finds himself on trial.


• Suvival of the Dumbest - Rusty tries to find out where he came from, no-one offers any real answers.


• A Sober Sunday - Early must survive one, long boring Sunday sober.


• Rebel with a Clause - Santa Claus is held hostage in the Cuyler household so Early can finally get the greatest gift of all: the still beating heart of NASCAR racer Jeff Gordon.

Season 2 (summaires provided by ZorakFan3271)

• Webnecks - Rusty's new computer eventually leads to a new technological age for Dougal County, making things better then ever: but at a devastating price

• Beast Implants - A freak accident leaves Granny with the stitched together body parts of other animals - thus, making her a freak. 

• Tween Steam - Dan Halen exploits Rusty's skill of luring deviant pedophiles for a television show. 

• Wingnut - Dan Halen makes science his bitch when he fuses together the DNA of a squid and chicken for a brand new, family-style feast. 

• Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto Is 'Wisdom, Justice and Moderation" - Rusty rectifies his lack of guitar playing skills when he strikes a deal with the Devil. 

• Earth Worst - When the Cuyler's land seems to be threatened with destruction to pave way for a "Smokey Moon Jump", annoying hippies come to the rescue.

• The Good One - Lil's promiscuity provides Early with a new young'un to be proud of. 

• Sharif - The Sheriff loses his job as Dan Halen tests out yet another deadly product on the citizens of Dougal County. 

• Condition: Demolition!  - Early teaches Rusty all he knows about the art of car demolition, with his car as a paint brush. 

• The Appalachian Mud Squid: Darwin's Dilemma - After a documentary reveals the Cuylers' species are in danger of extinction, The Sheriff does all he can to protect Early from his reckless behavior. 

• The Unbearable Heatness of Fire - The Cuyler home is burnt down once again, with the Sheriff's primary suspect being aliens. 

• Tuscaloosa Dumpling - Early and Granny make Rusty go through a series of tests in order to pass a rite of passage, to earn himself the pleasure of fifthly sex act. 

• Armageddon It On! - The rapture has begun in Dougal County, but not everyone's getting in and Early leaves himself and Rusty behind and use it as an opportunity to take people's stuff. (link1)(link2)(link3)(link4)

• Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody about Dan Halen - More Dan Halen than you can poke a stick at in this 11-minute exploratory piece of this enigmatic personification of pure evil. (link1)(link2)(link3)(link4)(link5)

• Flight of the Deep Fried Pine Booby - Early and Rusty's hunt for a rare bird leads them to try and save said bird when they find out the bird has special gas which acts as a great benefit to them. 

• An Officer and a Dental Dam - Granny is dead, and the only way to revive her is through sex. Gross, filthy deplorable sex. With Robert E. Lee 

• The Okaleechee Dam Jam - Water drought is about in Dougal County, and Dan Halen concocts a scheme involving Early's great line-dancing and David Allan Coe. 

• Pile M for Murder - Early, Granny and Rusty want to go muddin', and something strange is going on with Dan Halen as he plans to build Mount Murder. 

• Mud Days and Cornfused - Move over Mud Days, it's Corn Times - courtesy of Mr. Dan Halen, but Corn Times proves itself to be a dangerous alternative. 

• Krystal, Light - Krystal loses a whole lotta weight after winning a whole lotta money, and as such begins dating Dan Halen who has his eyes on the prize.

season 3 (summaries provided by ZorakFan3271)

• Lerm - A run-in with an intergalactic being gains Early a new friend.


• The Liar, The Bitch, and the Bored Rube - Early hates books. Really hates books, and wants Rusty to have nothing to do with them as he plans to bomb a book fair. (link #1)


• The Fine 'Ol Solution - Early doesn't want to do the jobs the Mexicans do, but doesn't want the Mexicans to do them and tries to figure out a way of keeping them out.


• Anabolic-Holic - After a fight with a ex-wrestler, Early pumps Rusty full of steroids so he can successfully fight for his honour.


• Confessions of a Gangrenous Mind - Granny relays the story of her time as a slave - and all the sex she's had.


• The Big Gay Throwdown - An special gay event in Dougal County leads The Sheriff to pull a special gay sting operation.


• Atone Deaf  - Early tries to make up for all the bad things his done after being arrested for crashing into a bar.


• God's Bro - Dan Halen puts the entirety of Dougal County in danger to dispose of a dead hooker, when God's brother stops by for a visit.


• Reunited and it Feels No Good - A family reunion unites the Cuyler who went away to get a better life; one for which he wants Rusty to have.


• Not without my Cash Cow! - After Rusty is taken away to his new family, Early claims his been kidnapped so he can get Rusty back, in order to keep receiving money from the government, but along the way discovers the joys of media sensationalism.

season 4 (provided by Swimmod_Luuv in this thread)

• Need for Weed: the drug episode, where Lil is running the lab through her facehole in the floor


• The Many Loves of Early Cuyler : this is the one where Early marries all the women in the county.


• Dead Squid Walking: Ga Ga Pee Pap episode. Episode rating:  Funnier than hell.


• Young, Dumb, and Full of Gums: them dougalcountyites are trying to beat up the water


• Holodeck Redneck: The Sheriff is in therapy and then it's really Early and Granny sees her Granny in the star trek holodeck


• Frivilolacious Squidigation: It starts out with them riding a big cool carnival ride.  Early's suing Dan Halen in this one


• Fatal Distraction: the GPS episode, which is too funny for me to distract myself by commenting on it as it plays.


• Clowny Freaks: My rating:  Funny as hell. (The "ICP" episode)


• Lean Green Touchdown Makifying Machine: the football one which is funny but eh


• America: Why I Love Her: the one where the animals sing about stuff.

season 5

• Asbestos I Can


• Class of 86


• Velvet Messiah


• The Big E


• Keeping it in the family way


• Snow Daddy


• Ball Mart


• The Pharoah's Wad


• Return of Gaga Pee Pap


• Trucked Up!

season 6: July 2012?

[RoshiBlues]

YOU should go back to each episode discussion thread

and therein use the best description

[Explosivo_420]

whoa....that's a neat idea!

I think I will try this.

[DBZ4ever]

I looked back through the pages of the folder and I did not see many episode discussions(But I only skimmed quickly). I don't know how many exist but if some are found and used whoever posts the description should give credit to the original author, especially if it is just copy and pasted.

I will try and do some of these from time to time. I know one or two I can do right off the top of my head for sure.

[ooIpmahC-iarumaS]

Or if you watch the episodes that air, writing a summary as you watch or after you watch would be pretty easy

[lifeunderwater]

young,dumb and full of gums, has something to do with my meth teeth post.

[Explosivo_420]

season 1

• This Show is Called Squidbillies : This is the first one. The introduction to the Cuyler clan and the townsfolk of dougal county.
  
• Take this Job and Love it!: Early is fired and begins a pathetic search for parole-appeasing employment. Somehow he lands a CEO position with Dan Halen Sheetrock International.
  
• School Days, Fool Days: The Cuylers are compelled to begin home-schooling for Rusty. Weird things happen on prom night.
  
• Chalky Trouble: A racism-rally is held in the backyard as Grand Wizard Granny leads a bonfire to burn the white-man's things in effigy.
  
• Family Trouble: Rusty is finally reunited with his super-fat white momma, Krystal. Somehow, she is unsure who the father is. Or that she was pregnant.
  
• Office Politics Trouble: Early's homebrew "GLUG" is picked up for mass production by Dan Halen. The new drink is "so gooood" so sayeth the mexican guy making it.
  

[Explosivo_420]

Season 2

• Government Brain Voodoo Trouble: Early and Sheriff take advice from a counseler. Turns out, that guy was just a rapist. The, Rapist.
• Butt Trouble: Rusty lays a few giant blue eggs, and grows concerned. Early is convinced they're "draculurs" but Sheriff thinks they deserve a shot at life.
• Double Truckin' the Tricky Two: Early tries to pull one over on the Lottery. Squirrel Skull.
• Swayze Crazy: THE Patrick Swayze comes to visit the squids. Unfortunately some other guy claiming to be Patrick Swazye comes in and things get confusing.
• Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble: Early sports a raunchy hat featuring the tumescent girth of an engorged.....uh......donkey hammer. He also fins some fine-ass speakers.
• Meth O.D. to my Madness: A gripping tale that preaches to the mortal sins involved with runnin a meth hog farm.
• The Tiniest Princess: On Halloween night the squids deal with two pesky monsters.
• Asses to Ashes, Sluts to Dust: Granny goes to the hospital and requires emergency breast augmentation surgery
• Bubba Trubba: A new comedian inspires the Cuylers to "Do it to it" until it's revealed he is actually an alien from the planet Ala Bama.
• Burned and Reburned Again: Early and Krystal reunite and things don't go so well. Early runs out of skin to tattoo.
• Terminus Trouble: Early and Rusty go to ATLANTA! unfortunately they end up in court when an Atlanta Braves thirdbasemen looks at Early "crossways"
• Suvival of the Dumbest: A new squid (Patton Oswalt) turns up and connects with Rusty who is curious about his origins.
• A Sober Sunday: Dan Halen proposes a new law to ban liquor sales on sunday. Early does not respond well.
• Rebel with a Clause: Santa takes a visit to the torture chamber of the cuylers' home. He is brutally kept until his elves deliver the one gift Early craves, the still beating heart of Jeff Gordon.

[lifeunderwater]

I wish there were some way to dedicate, swayze,crazy, to the late actor, and dancer.

[lifeunderwater]

obviously, by you
and we should be eternally grateful

[Leostenbuck]

Ep. 1 - "This Show is Called Squidbillies" :  The sheriff's head is covered in meth at which point it melts off and Liz is quick with the reply, "Smoke his head!!!"

Or something along those lines. I remember that part and how it viciously split my sides.

[scrapyard]

dude i luv this thred

ima havta watch some again cuz i 4get so easliy

but i got some good destrptions

inever can remmbr ep names!!! fuuuuuudge'n stonre

at atny rate

remmbr when rusty gota zit i ewas lol
&& my fav is swzye when they think that dude is swazye

cuza the poster on the wall thats my fav ep

maybe not fav but most m emorable

sides i gota remmbr more so i can post again here more decently

[Explosivo_420]

Well, if you want, you can like describe an episode right after you had recently watched it and I'll help you find the right episode title to put it under! Or better yet, throw in a whole season on disc and go SWAYZE CRAZY

[scrapyard]

my fav one was from few weeks ago

idk even what year it was from i mean season k

&i dont think there was a plot or anything

but early was tolyz crazy &kept run'n around

f'n stuff up &1/2 way thru it me &my romate

were like wtf is go'n on in this ep

do u know that one lol

oh **tut-tut** i bet i can go n2 the dvr history on the cable box

&see wtf im talkn bout holy jam

i'll let u know

[RoshiBlues]

you type like you stoned

[scrapyard]

dont judge me

also &that u type like u aint american

[RoshiBlues]

i aint aloud to post my long form birth certificate

[scrapyard]

stop deniy'n me civil liberites

[ZorakFan3271]

EPISODES

season 1

• This Show is Called Squidbillies - The heart-warming tale of how the Cuyler clan came to be, involving illegal meth labs, jail time, bestiality and flashbacks that may or not have happened. 
• Take this Job and Love it! - After losing his job, Early goes on a job hunt with the assistance of The Sheriff to gain employment. 
• School Days, Fool Days - After an unfortunate **tut-tut**-fighting incident, The Sheriff informs Early that Rusty must get an education. Early home-schools Rusty the only way he knows how. Which he doesn't know. 
• Chalky Trouble - The Cuylers hold a "Anti-White Rally" where revelations are revelated.  
• Family Trouble -  After last episode's revelations, more revelations come about concerning Rusty's paternity. 
• Office Politics Trouble - Early's new alcoholic beverage makes Dan Halen richer and Dougal County blinder. 

season 2

• Government Brain Voodoo Trouble - Early and The Sheriff go to see a therapist after Early steps over the line, where more lines are stepped over when the therapist is not who he seems. 
• Butt Trouble - Early takes Rusty hunting to make a man out of him, after Rusty makes a few dozen eggs over the night. 
• Double Truckin' the Tricky Two - After rigging the lottery time and time again, Dan Halen allows the Cuyler clan to win the lottery. But not the lottery you're thinking of. 
• Swayze Crazy - A man posing as Patrick Swayze pulls one over on the Cuyler clan, with Rusty being the only one with suspicions. 
• Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble - Early's offensive new hat saves his life after an accident, which makes him see the light and turn over a new leaf for about 11 minutes. 
• Meth O.D. to my Madness - Early acquires some property, but unable to pay for it he relies on Lil's meth lab operation to make some dough. 
• The Tiniest Princess - On Halloween night, the Cuyler clan have run-ins with monster after monster. 
• **tut-tut** to Ashes, **tut-tut** to Dust - Granny needs a gallbladder and Early and Rusty must find some money to pay for a transplant. 
• Bubba Trubba - The Cuylers' learn a huge secret about their favorite comedian, Plummer Bubba. 
• Burned and Reburned Again - A domestic disturbance leads to martial bliss which leads to more domestic disturbances for Early and Krystal. 
• Terminus Trouble -Early, Rusty and The Sheriff all go down to Atlanta when Early eventually finds himself on trial. 
• Suvival of the Dumbest - Rusty tries to find out where he came from, no-one offers any real answers. 
• A Sober Sunday - Early must survive one, long boring Sunday sober. 
• Rebel with a Clause - Santa Claus is held hostage in the Cuyler household so Early can finally get the greatest gift of all: the still beating heart of NASCAR racer Jeff Gordon. 

[Explosivo_420]

I already did those!!!!!


Awwww, it's ok zorak, I'm sure most of those are phrased much better than mine.


We'll go through 'em later and just pick out the funniest/best ones

[ZorakFan3271]

---

Explosivo_420 wrote:
I already did those!!!!!


Awwww, it's ok zorak, I'm sure most of those are phrased much better than mine.


We'll go through 'em later and just pick out the funniest/best ones

---

Whoopsie doodle. Didn't realise that would be a problem, but then I read the start again - sorry. 

Here's Season 3 and 4

Season 3

• Webnecks - Rusty's new computer eventually leads to a new technological age for Dougal County, making things better then ever: but at a devastating price
• Beast Implants - A freak accident leaves Granny with the stitched together body parts of other animals - thus, making her a freak. 
• Tween Steam - Dan Halen exploits Rusty's skill of luring deviant pedophiles for a television show. 
• Wingnut - Dan Halen makes science his **tut-tut** when he fuses together the DNA of a squid and chicken for a brand new, family-style feast. 
• Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto Is 'Wisdom, Justice and Moderation" - Rusty rectifies his lack of guitar playing skills when he strikes a deal with the Devil. 
• Earth Worst - When the Cuyler's land seems to be threatened with destruction to pave way for a "Smokey Moon Jump", annoying hippies come to the rescue.
• The Good One - Lil's promiscuity provides Early with a new young'un to be proud of. 
• Sharif - The Sheriff loses his job as Dan Halen tests out yet another deadly product on the citizens of Dougal County. 
• Condition: Demolition!  - Early teaches Rusty all he knows about the art of car demolition, with his car as a paint brush. 
• The Appalachian Mud Squid: Darwin's Dilemma - After a documentary reveals the Cuylers' species are in danger of extinction, The Sheriff does all he can to protect Early from his reckless behavior. 
• The Unbearable Heatness of Fire - The Cuyler home is burnt down once again, with the Sheriff's primary suspect being aliens. 
• Tuscaloosa Dumpling - Early and Granny make Rusty go through a series of tests in order to pass a rite of passage, to earn himself the pleasure of fifthly sex act. 
• Armageddon It On! - The rapture has begun in Dougal County, but not everyone's getting in and Early leaves himself and Rusty behind and use it as an opportunity to take people's stuff. 
• Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody about Dan Halen - More Dan Halen than you can poke a stick at in this 11-minute exploratory piece of this enigmatic personification of pure evil. 
• Flight of the Deep Fried Pine Booby - Early and Rusty's hunt for a rare bird leads them to try and save said bird when they find out the bird has special gas which acts as a great benefit to them. 
• An Officer and a Dental Dam - Granny is dead, and the only way to revive her is through sex. Gross, filthy deplorable sex. With Robert E. Lee 
• The Okaleechee Dam Jam - Water drought is about in Dougal County, and Dan Halen concocts a scheme involving Early's great line-dancing and David Allan Coe. 
• Pile M for Murder - Early, Granny and Rusty want to go muddin', and something strange is going on with Dan Halen as he plans to build Mount Murder. 
• Mud Days and Cornfused - Move over Mud Days, it's Corn Times - courtesy of Mr. Dan Halen, but Corn Times proves itself to be a dangerous alternative. 
• Krystal, Light - Krystal loses a whole lotta weight after winning a whole lotta money, and as such begins dating Dan Halen who has his eyes on the prize. 

season 4

• Lerm - A run-in with an intergalactic being gains Early a new friend. 
• The Liar, The **tut-tut**, and the Bored Rube - Early hates books. Really hates books, and wants Rusty to have nothing to do with them as he plans to bomb a book fair. 
• The Fine 'Ol Solution - Early doesn't want to do the jobs the Mexicans do, but doesn't want the Mexicans to do them and tries to figure out a way of keeping them out. 
• Anabolic-Holic - After a fight with a ex-wrestler, Early pumps Rusty full of steroids so he can successfully fight for his honour. 
• Confessions of a Gangrenous Mind - Granny relays the story of her time as a slave - and all the sex she's had. 
• The Big Gay Throwdown - An special gay event in Dougal County leads The Sheriff to pull a special gay sting operation. 
• Atone Deaf  - Early tries to make up for all the bad things his done after being arrested for crashing into a bar. 
• God's Bro - Dan Halen puts the entirety of Dougal County in danger to dispose of a dead hooker, when God's brother stops by for a visit. 
• Reunited and it Feels No Good - A family reunion unites the Cuyler who went away to get a better life; one for which he wants Rusty to have.
• Not without my Cash Cow! - After Rusty is taken away to his new family, Early claims his been kidnapped so he can get Rusty back, in order to keep receiving money from the government, but along the way discovers the joys of media sensationalism. 

[Explosivo_420]

well I did mine may 2nd, I thought this would be a thread to get descriptions but you're the only one to help and for that I kudos you sire.

[SwimMod_Luuv]

I think the best thing always is to try to work everything in somehow. 

I think it's cool if everybody that wants to pariticipate gets a little piece of the wiki.  That way it's made up by fans for fans and it sorta belongs to everybody.

[Explosivo_420]

working on the OP, and I decided to use ZorakFan's summaries for season 2-4, and I'll probably go through swimmod_luuv's season 5 DVD watch-a-thon thread and get descrpitions out of that.

Also, just added the idea of putting User Reviews/Thoughts/Opinions/Memories....unsure what to offical label this part.

Underneath the episode description I will be adding quotes from users around the boards (in reference to the episode at hand, and always linking back to the original post) that reflect on favorite scenes, opinions, backround information. AND THEN in those original posts I'm considering embedding clips (whenever they remember a favorite scene or mention a specific moment).

Feedback is welcome!

[Explosivo_420]

ok I will try to find the time to finish this whole thing and get it ready for season 6 and then the best review from the episode threads will be used!