01-15-2009 05:44 PM
01-15-2009 06:33 PM
-Early: "That's right Rusty, this here is a hologram crafted by aliens in space to connive me outta my rightful thinkin' that it was snake people from the sky what dun burnt this house down!"
-Granny: "snake people!...from the skys!"
01-17-2009 09:33 PM
01-21-2009 06:36 PM
Early: Numbers?! Numbers?! Numbers was created by the prehistoric hispanics so they could thieve all the jobs from the Romans. Dinosaurs too. Hell yeah.
Sheriff: Dinosaurs what?
Early: Computers, yeah. Romans.
01-22-2009 03:23 AM - edited 01-22-2009 03:25 AM
hahaha, thats one of my favorites
Krystal: "that flap wagon ain't gon pull itself"
Dan Halen: "Is this about the ecoli thing?..look filling the wave pool with animal urine is a worthwhile experiment. Let's not throw the baby out with the imported chinese wolf pi$$."
01-23-2009 03:44 PM
01-24-2009 03:26 AM
01-24-2009 10:02 PM - edited 01-24-2009 10:03 PM
For forgetting his actual name? psssshhhhh.
But yeah, I seriously can't remember the guy's name... what the hell is it?!
PS: For those that don't get the Jon Ingram fan club newsletter, I got temp-banned for flaming a troll.
01-24-2009 10:10 PM - edited 01-24-2009 10:11 PM
Also, I googled it, and it's Todd Hanson... Let's hope, for my sake, I don't forget again.
ALSO ALSO: I just put two and two togethe rin my crippled brain and realised maybe you thought I was referring the the character and not the voice actor, haha... I seemed to remember readin he was a writer for The Onion in the interview someone linked to here.
01-28-2009 08:54 PM
go on and wash the truck-boat-truck..... but leave the boat to me.... dont touch that sumbichin boat... that boat is not a toy..... the boat is mine
Ahhh early what wisdom will you bestow upon us next time
01-28-2009 08:55 PM
01-28-2009 10:50 PM
01-28-2009 10:52 PM
Rusty: Daddy no!
Early: Keep em' closed I'm gonna win!
Rusty: Daddy how could you?
Early: Rattlesnake at a tie weddin', my signature move
01-28-2009 10:58 PM
Early: Satan come into me dark lord and I will serve you. For I am your vessel.
Granny: Early no
Early: I got to go muddin' one last time. Hell I'll repent later. He knows my heart.
Rusty: Wait Daddy no! I wanna stay with you!
Early: Then touch your Funfetti weiner!
01-31-2009 07:16 PM - edited 01-31-2009 07:18 PM
One of my all-time favorite episodes was on last night:
Dan Halen: Go behind the Dumpster and mate the tangy with the mild.
Rusty: Well, how I go about doing that?
Dan Halen: Tie Tangy up, have a black chicken f**k it in a fake rape scenario while Mild watches helpless because that's what gets him off.
Also, the expression of Early's face... when he's s**king blood from the chicken... I had flashbacks of my dad when he eats "Crawdads"...
This show is stealing MY MEMORIES.
EDIT: Color-coded that s**t!
02-02-2009 08:55 PM
Sheriff : hey lil you know moonshine is illegal in this county?
Lil : oh thats just my methlab
sheriff: huh? you know what it looks like from here? the mortal eye of god collapsing into itself with the insatiable color of the soul forever warmed in never ending oneness listen lets not to reject the one.... im saved
narrator ; turns out rusty had shamnpooed the sheriff with over half a million dollars of crystal meth
lil: smoke his head!!!
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