The Swim Archive

[GQ37]

Dante was from the ABC (now on Comedy Central) show Clerks.

[Glitch]

Not that I don't like your choice but batman could have had more funnyness potential than the Cap.

P.S. And that my friends is why being a pacifist only leads to violence in the end, you make everyone angry!!!

[R.I.P.Hypatia]

i want to try my hand (it's late and i've been nerding out, so i could use a diversion)

... especially since i started the AI thread


philomela
(in the throes of an identity crisis)

[GQ37]

This is the last one of the night. I'm starting to burn out, I'll start fresh again tomorrow.

Pikachu v. Orko
A red and white ball is thrown onto the field and out pops Pikachu. Orko flies in a little hapharzardly, he appears to be drunk, again. Pikachu quickly fires a ball of flame at Orko. Fortunately for him he manages to dodge at the last second, with his BAC he would burn up in a matter of seconds. Orko begins a spell, "Alakazoo, alakazizzle let me defeat my foe with the power of the Drizzle!" Suddenly Pikachu feels very... moist... but that's about it. "Crap!" Orko exclaims and takes another pull from his bottle. Meanwhile Pikachu is bouncing around the field in a manner that is visually stunning, what with the white movement lines and all, but other than that it serves no real purpose. Orko begins his next spell "By the power of Grayskull! I have the power!" Nothing happens. "Oh right!" he realizes "I'm not He-Man." Pikachu launches another fireball that narrowly misses. It's at this time while Orko dodged/fell to the ground that he notices the red and white ball. He picks it up and presses the button. *POOF* Pikachu disappears inside it again. Orko pulls a baseball hat out of his hat and hits a grandslam knocking Pikachu into the next county.

Winner: Orko

The Big One!
Homer v. Birdman
Homer, drunk on his own power, and Duff, laughs at Birdman. "You're team is almost as pathetic as your legal career you hack!" he slurs. Birdman responds by chucking his briefcase into Homer's, now even larger, stomach. As Homer is doubled over in pain Birdman files for a Writ of Habeas Corpus then uses his powers given him from the sun to blast the crap out of Homer. Homer is thrown several yards and lays motionless. Convinced of his victory Birdman grabs his cell phone and calls his trusty sidekick Avenger to tell him the good news. While his back is turned Homer gets up and launches himself at Birdman. In horror Harvey turns, and tries to fire his beams again. But to no avail. He used up his energy in the last blast, and now Homer's massive girth is blocking out the sun making it impossible for him to recharge! Homer drives his winged opponent to the ground and begins to pummel him into oblivion. When he is finished, Harvey's face is an unrecognizable pile of goo. To add insult to injury Homer heaves up the case of Duff he downed before the fight all over Birdman's $1200 Armani suit. Nolo Contendre.

Winner: Homer Simpson

Tomorrow: The stunning conclusion

[GQ37]

Go for it, I'm burned out. I'm going to save the conclusion till tomorrow. It'd be cool to see some other people's takes on these.

[R.I.P.Dark_Raven35]

What happens next? I'm dying to know.

[GQ37]

Yeah, I thought about using Batman, but I wanted more variety. Plus I wanted to do something with Captain Planet as a dirty pervert, and that seemed like the best place to do it. In retrospect you're right though. Batman would have been better.

[GQ37]

All right a sneak preview of the matches but that's it. I'm getting tired and the stories are becoming derivative of each other. I want to keep it fresh.

Round 2:

Ein v. Orko
Stewie v. Captain Planet

and in the finale

Homer v. The Tick

[R.I.P.Dark_Raven35]

I'll handle stewie vs Captian planet in script form

Captian Planet: hello little boy.... dont you know to keep the ozone clean and to recycle?
Stewie: I'll give you somthing to recycle you FLAMBOYANT LIBERAL!!(whips out ray gun and fires shots at Capt. Planet)
Capt.Planet:Whoa... hold on there little guy(Picks up stewie by back of shirt.)you're gonna hurt yourself w/ that thing.
Stewie: Unhand me you abiguously gay ecomaniac.(stuggles drops to the ground, rolls and grabs ray gun)
Stewie: Take this you left wing idiot!(shoots capt. planet's head off.)

Winner Stewie.

[GQ37]

LMAO!! Have you been peeking at my notebook?

[R.I.P.Dark_Raven35]

*Smiles evilly*

[CDPal]

what sohuld happen in the current battle it should be
5v5 at once

Leader:Reign and his army:Reign being misunderstood from his crappy tv program comes to actly seek glory.With him and his half naked men(some are fully naked)on there half dressed horses might be hard to the current champ's team.

She-man:He-mans gay evil twin a male or a female will we ever know?

Gay Hamtaro bot:After the cancel of his program in o novemember 13,2003 after cn thought that his program was moved to Adult swim and everyone complained that the shows hamster stripper percent was a mere 95% percent and nobody liked the show in the first place it was cancelled.......After that he became a drug-e and started to sell drugs on the mass market after that he was arrested for murdering some of his only co-workers including 10 humans and 4 hamsters.Using his uter stupidity he was lucky enough to find a hamster looking robot with marshmellow cannons.oooohhh and the robot was pink.Now hes joined with reign cause reign promised hamtaro gay sex from his army.

Washed up blossom:after the big pay cut blossom was removed from the powerpuff girl group and was replaced witha hobo which could be hired cheaper but the hobo wasn't complaining cause he got a free pink suit. Blossom tried to get a deal with warner brothers and nickolodean but they didn't hire her.After being in 10000 episodes she thought she had super powers but they were just specail effects.She ended up being a bum on the street.how she's joined with reign cause she sitll thinks she has super powers.

Santa claus:He joined reign cause reign promised santa that reign would show santa his goodies and santa didn't need to bring him anymore clothes.
Remember this guy has "magical" powers prob the mightiest on the team

vs

winner of the previous tournament
carl off aqua teen
zorak with a tank
inuyasha
fry off futurama

[Glitch]

Here is my script of Stewie against Louis(SP? stewies mom you get the picture)

Stewie,tired of eating those god forsaken Pees, invents a gun that shoots pees. But this is no ordinary pee shooter, it can pierce through titanium. The next day Stewie is sitting at his booster seat during dinner as normal. "Haha" says stewie as he pulls out his pee shooter. "And now mother it is time for you to die", says stewie. He fires the gun but Louis reaches over to tie peter's bib on. The pee misses her and hits Peter.Of course, peter's head is harder than any metal and peter giggles as it bounces off of him. "####, I say, It seems I will have to find different methods to kil-" Louis picks up Stewie and carries him out of the room with Stewie Yelling" Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooo!!!!!! D-amn you to hell!

[R.I.P.brakster]

I respect the rules of youre thread, and Im not trying to encourrege this on this thread, but that was one of the best laughs Ive had in a long time! Feel free to write more comedy on the discuss thread cdpal, you have talent!

[R.I.P.Dark_Raven35]

*Bump*

[R.I.P.Chibi_007]

(First off, ignore personal beliefs and others posts and have fun with this one ^_^)

I think Lisa’s spiritual form should come back and kick some serious @$$! She is now gifted with immense omnificent powers granted to her for her good deeds and recycling while alive. Powers that she shall use to thwart off her enemies and cleanse the world with.

Now she and the undead/zombie-like Stewie can fight to the death (...again...) in the ultimate rematch of the living dead!!!!

[GQ37]

And Now! The Conclusion!

Round 2:

Stewie v. Captain Planet:
Stewie is still gloating over his victory over the now fricassied Lisa when he is spotted from above by a weepy Captain Planet. Captain Planet swoops down, approaches Stewie, and says "Hello little boy. Would you like to come to my van for some ice cream?" "What the deuce!?" Stewie replies "Are you trying to pick me up, you washed up, ambiguous, symbol of humanity's guilt over destroying the environment?" "No, no!" He responds, "I just wanted to know if you wanted a sundae." "Very well," says Stewie "I shall have a chocolate sundae, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!" "All right my van's right over here." Captain Planet says as he tries to lead Stewie away. Suddenly, Stewie's pervert alarm goes off, and he realizes his near fatal mistake. Stewie quickly draws yet another laser cannon and blasts Captain Planet out of existence.

Winner: Stewie

Ein v. Orko
Still drunk from his last battle, Orko is ill prepared for the battle with Ein, who now has a taste for blood after his savage victory over Dante. Orko prepares a spell, but suddenly Ein flies through the air at him. In a scene similar to the killer rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Ein grips Orko around where his neck should be. Unfortunately Orko is some kind of freakish alien with a different anatomy. Orko now begins to shriek in a high pitched voice. It turns out Ein has latched onto Orko's genitals. Now unable to speak much less cast a spell, Orko is powerless to stop the systematic mutilation he suffers at the hands of the little corgi.

Winner: Ein

Coming next...

THE FINAL BATTLE

[GQ37]

THE FINAL BATTLE

Homer v. The Tick:

The Tick is still searching for the talking woodpecker when he stumbles upon Homer standing over the mangled corpse of Birdman. The Tick yells out a mighty "SSPPOOOOONNN!!!" and Homer let's out an "AAAUUUAAUA!" and the battle is joined. The Tick batters Homer with his mighty fists while Homer slurs out "Sstop pummeling me! You're fists are really hard!" Homer belts Tick with full and empty beer cans, but to no avail. Suddenly the woodpecker flies by and the Tick is distracted. He begins to chase after the bird saying "Keen!". Homer takes this chance to grab one of Stewies blaster rifles. He opens fire and hits the Tick square in the back, putting him down. He has a drink and stumbles over to what he believes to be his vanquished foe. But he has forgotten one important fact. The Tick is nigh invulnerable. The Tick nails Homer with a mighty blow that rocks the countryside for miles around. When Homer's lifeless body lands a few weeks later it is no longer recognizable as a human being. The Tick dusts himself off and says "Score one for JUSTICE!!" However, he doesn't see
Stewie and Ein sneaking off in the distance. Goodness has triumphed over evil today, but evil has not been vanquished.

Winner: The Tick

The End?

[Glitch]

Stewie can ride ein like a horse and they can fight Tick together!

SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

[R.I.P.Dark_Raven35]

Hey i though i took care of Capt planet

[Glitch]

The tension is killin' me! I want closure!

[GQ37]

I left it open ended so if anybody else wanted to participate they could. Anyone else want to give it a try? It's fun!

[R.I.P.Dark_Raven35]

What's the next match..... i'll write one

[GQ37]

Well, you could continue with the last one, Stewie, Ein and the Tick all survived. Or you could just pick your own characters and go crazy with it. Go for it, I look forward to reading it.

[R.I.P.Dark_Raven35]

Bump