The Swim Archive

[DJRL]

This bump is from the way back!! If you can read this and reply in 40 seconds you win sweet sweet candy

[DJRL]

This bump is for the Big V himself. He is obviously unhappy with the board or else he would have made more appearances. I am seriously suprised that he didn't do a flying shark v. flying croc fight. Oh well.. see ya around big V

[verpetas]

The reason I have been absent from this thread is that I am in Europe right now, and it is prohibitively expensive to sit and compose good fights from internet cafes. Expect my next fight in a month or so.

[verpetas]

Attention all!!!

In an effort to preserve the sancity of the Dark tournament of comedy, I propose the following  battle:

Q-bert vs Brak

In the Avocado Jungle of Death.

A steamy day greets our fighters  as they weave thier way around the hordes of amazon women to the center of the ring. Q-bert finds an old pyramid and begins jumping up and down the steps. The changing colors are hypnotizing. Brak begins dancing and wondering aloud "Who got the butt?"

Who got the butt, indeed, Brak?

Some say Deus got the butt. Is this, in fact true? I can´t say for sure. I know Verpetas ain´t got the butt.

Q-bert has nearly competed his task of changing the colors on the steps. This may spell trouble for Brak. Unaware of his danger, Brak continues singing and dancing. A jolly old song, it is, about the little gnomes that live under mushroom caps. Brak has gotten hold of some soap and begins a song about taking a shower. Q-bert finishes his pyramid and goes to work on another one. I have been witness to some boring fights here in the Dark Tournament of comedy, but this chunk of lamery certainly gets at least honorable mention.

Just when it seems the crowd is about ready to leave, a lone amazon warrior jumps from the crowd, grabs Andy in her lusty arms and whisks him off to her hut for some serious snoo-snoo. Brak falls silent. Without his voice artist, Brak becomes nothing more than a poorly drawn and choppily animated relic of mid 60´s children´s programming. Q-bert wates no time in hopping down off his pyramid and jumping once on Brak´s head. Brak´s noggin turns blue and explodes.

Winner: Q-bert (and Andy, the lucky dog)

[R.I.P.Rei-ayanami-000]

Me yeah have i told you about the time that i pissed my pants becuase i was to lazy to get out of my chair and then i pissed on my girl friend too and shes like what the heck whay did you do that and im like you told me to and shes like when i said then go i didn't mean on me!!! and yes i am a girl im bi

[DJRL]

Jesu, V.. I thought you had fallen off the face of the planet. I am glad to see you are having fun in Europe I hope the adventure goes well. I about peed myself when I saw a response.. I was thoroughly excited.

BTW Nice action sequence.

[DJRL]

Bump.. because someone wants to read this!

This bump brought to you by flaming clown cakes.. The only cakes guaranteed to blow up and put someone in the hospital on their birthday.

More fights on the way!!!

[Azira_Miko_no_Meikai]

Yeah!!! I love these fights!   :ut roll of pennies in donation box::

[verpetas]

Bump it, baby. Just once for old times sake.

[Azira_Miko_no_Meikai]

XD

[DJRL]

He LIVES!!!! The Big V will now have a dinosaur kill 5 year old human.

[Azira_Miko_no_Meikai]

YEAH!!! KILL THE HUMANS!!

[DJRL]

Bumps & a need for original material.. PLEASE POST I BEG OF YOU!!

[Azira_Miko_no_Meikai]

umm    Me dumb, me cant think right now............give me money.

[DJRL]

Thinking of a few fights..

The love below vs. speaker box

Vanilla shake vs. Chocolate shake

V's mom vs. my mom


Bumpidities

[civilinufan]

Obviously, Zoidberg will defeat all comers. All hail the great Dr. Zoidberg!!

[DJRL]

I believe that Zoidberg only battled once in the arena and lost miserably to the Evil monkey. Sorry.. but you can certainly write him into one if you want to.

[civilinufan]

You've obviously never seen the episode "Why must I be a crustacean in love". Zoidberg totally kicked **bleep**!

[Azira_Miko_no_Meikai]

Yeah well, the evil  monkeys kicks more a.ss

[DJRL]

I don't know if Evil monkeys kick **bleep**, but this fight sure will..

The Love Below

vs.

Speakerboxx

The fighter big boi and andre 3k walk into the newly built thunderdome. The announcer, Harry Karrey, steps up. "Ladies and Gentelmen what a great day for baseball, the Cubs are winning 5-0 in the bottom of th... *bam* I am sorry for that retardo, Ms. Phylus Diller is now the announcer, "Ladies and Gentelmen welcome to the top event. Hey yaaaaa buddy your pants look a little low. And mr. boi's are just fine. These two square off and its go time!!!

Big boi starts with a left catching mr 3 grand with his hook and putting that skinny **bleep** **bleep** to the canvas. 1... 2.. I can't believe it folks it might be a thunderdome record, 5.. 6.. still no movement, 8.. the ref is caught up by some marvelouse light fixtures that are brought to us by funky clown pies. Andre awakes after a few hours and the match restarts.

Andre has the better angle this time since he used his famous Hey ya multiplication trick and became 6 people. A left, a right, 6 lefts, 4 lefts, 2 rights, and big boi will not topple! He stands strong untill 6 rights, that puts him on the canvas. Secretly the jay-Z roc crew is standing ready to destroy the speakerbox/love below for its triple platinum status, with Big boi on the canvas andre 3k will have his **bleep** handed to him. 1 .. 2.. the rocawear crew rushes the stands and jumps andre. Big boi stands and watches, then comes to a realization, we used to kick **bleep** as Outkast. So big boi throws off all the roc crew and begins their super technic!! THE OUTKASTOMECATRON FORMATION!!

*bleep bew bern beep* the Outkastomecatron is fully developed and charged. They begin the assault by dropping phat bombs on them hommies. The roc crew is stunned and completely caught off gaurd. *Rumble rumble* the thunderdome is destroyed again, but we have a winner. OutKast!!


There is no after game announcement due to the lack of further funding.. Stay tunned.

[Azira_Miko_no_Meikai]

::is the only one at the stadium::

WOOH!!!

::is lonely now::

[verpetas]

The next match I write will be between a board moderator and his old S/N.

No kidding. I found out who one of the mods used to be.

Stay tuned for this exciting development.

Who is it?

Spread the word.

[civilinufan]

---

Azira_Miko_no_Meikai wrote:
Yeah well, the evil  monkeys kicks more a.ss

---

That so - called 'evil' monkey couldn't kick an a$$ if it was right up in his face!

[Azira_Miko_no_Meikai]

---

civilinufan wrote:

---

Azira_Miko_no_Meikai wrote:
Yeah well, the evil  monkeys kicks more a.ss

---

That so - called 'evil' monkey couldn't kick an a$$ if it was right up in his face!

---

You wanna fight?

[DJRL]

---

Azira_Miko_no_Meikai wrote:

---

civilinufan wrote:

---

Azira_Miko_no_Meikai wrote:
Yeah well, the evil  monkeys kicks more a.ss

---

That so - called 'evil' monkey couldn't kick an a$$ if it was right up in his face!

---

You wanna fight?

---

If you guys want to fight.. I will get to write someone into becoming beheaded.

* bump * Brought to you by flaming ninjas, the gayest ninjas that use only kitanas and pens to kill people.

V- I know Nu's s/n but I worry about deletion.

Newest newer thunderdome- 35% funded. Thank you sponsors: Flaming ninjas, exploding clown cakes, The funderdome, and the National endowment for the arts and killing.