The Swim Archive

[I_am_Jacks_STD]

Dear Bwunhiwda,

Yo'h so wovewy.

Yes, I know it, I can't help it.

Oh Bwunhiwda, be-ee my wove.

Caw da Wahmbuwance.

hawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhawhaw

[Castor_Aries]

Dear Jack Itch,

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.  It just means you'll have to call the wahmbulance in the morning.

[CyberneticXmasGhost]

(opening to letter) (name of recipient),

(Body of Letter full of unrelated and strange things)

Call the wahmbulance.

(letter closing),

(my name)

Message Edited by CyberneticXmasGhost on 04-19-2006 05:29 PM

[Castor_Aries]

Dear Cybering Santa,

The body of this letter is full of related and familiar things.

Call the wahmbulance,

Castor Rated

[CyberneticXmasGhost]

Dear Mr One Dollar Bill Head Icon,

I will not by into the lies perpetrated by the media. I will use my superior willpower to resist you.

And to call the wahmbulance.

CyberneticXXXmasghost

[Castor_Aries]

Dear Pippi,

Your longstocking has fallen out of the hot air balloon.  To retrieve it, call Dr. Love, not the wahmbulance as was your first impulse.

[scrapyard]

dear pippi,
dont call dr love. cuz i did & all i got was frenched by gene simmons

[NatetheGr8]

Dear Scrappy:

Scooby Doo called.
He's fallen in a well and not even Lassie can save him now.

Ree red roo rall rhe rahmburance.

[scrapyard]

dear scooby:

all wells lead to china. & u need 2watch out, cuz i hear that them
there chinese, when they play joke, they go pee pee in your coke.

so have a whieneken instead.

then call the wahmbulance.

[NatetheGr8]

Dear Scrappy: STOP: Just returned from China TOP: The food was excellent TOP: Avoided drinking coke TOP: Saw Baby Jessica along the way TOP: She's really gotten hot since the last time I saw her on the news TOP: This is going to be a very expensive telegram TOP: I should probably stop TOP: But not until you call the wahmbulance TOP: Tell the gang I said hi TOP: Yours truly, Scooby TOP:

[NatetheGr8]

Dear S.Y.

The photos you requested of Bigfoot should be arriving very soon.
It was difficult capturing the beast in his natural environment as he has a deep fear of flash photography.
We don't know what you want them for and we don't want to know.
Just please don't leak them to the press.  Because when the crowd stampedes you to get its hands on them, not even the wahmbulance will be able to help you.

Sincerely,

N.T.G.

[CyberneticXmasGhost]

This is a haiku.

To tell you that you need to

Call the wahmbulance

[CyberneticXmasGhost]

Dear Losers,

I replied to my own post. Deal with it.

Address all your complaints to the wahmbulance.

[NatetheGr8]

Dear XXX Cyb0ring with a Ghost:

Emily Dickenson returned from the dead to say your poetry isn't so great.

Call the wahmbulance.  And while you're at it, call Ghostbusters.  Who else are you gonna call?

*Slimer*

-NatetheGr8

[CyberneticXmasGhost]

Dear GreatNate 88,

Emily Dickenson also never took a shower.

pwned.

Now to call her a special disinfecting wahmbulance.

[NatetheGr8]

Dear Cyb0rNETick Christmass Spirit:

I informed Emily Dickenson about her lack of hygiene.
She did not take kindly to it.
It turns out that not only does her poetry s.uck.  She also s.ucks brains.

I am now a zombie and will be coming to eat your brains around three o'clock today.
Please do not be tardy to our rendezvous point.

Oh, and you may want to call the wahmbulance.  This may get messy.

ZombieNatetheGr8

Message Edited by NatetheGr8 on 04-26-2006 12:02 PM

[ProfessorSnagglePuss]

Dear NattheGr8,

You're not great.

Also, I hit your grandma in the face with a couch.

Call the wahmbulance

[NatetheGr8]

Dear PSP:

Your initials are the same as a dreadful electronic gadget.
The Nintendo DS pwns j00r faise.

And if you ever call me Nat again you're going to need more than just the wahmbulance to save you.

[ProfessorSnagglePuss]

Dear Natt,

Word on the block is you like being called that, so I thought I would.

Hey, there's an elephant crawling up your big ol' fat butt. Check that out.

Call the wahmbulance

[NatetheGr8]

Dear Prof. Snaggle Puss:

Your namesake is an effeminate pink feline with narcissistic issues.

If you don't stop looking at yourself in the mirror when the wahmbulance runs you over I won't even scrape you off the undercarraige of the vehicle.

Oh, and that elephant?  He says your mom was great last night.

Better call the wahmbulance.  She's going to need help getting out of bed.

[Castor_Aries]

Dear Nathaniel VIII,

Her last name is spelled Dickinson, not Dickenson.  Call the wahmbulance.

[NatetheGr8]

Dear Castor Oil:

My posts are uneditable.  Could you call the wahmbulance for me?

[CyberneticXmasGhost]

Dear NatetheN00b,

I'll edit your posts, all night long.

And if you don't like it, you can call the wahmbulance.

[NatetheGr8]

---

CyberneticXmasGhost wrote:

Dear NatetheGreatestExampleofManfleshtoEverWalktheEarth,

I'll massage baby oil into your skin, all night long.

And if you don't like it, you can call the wahmbulance.

---

[CyberneticXmasGhost]

Dear NateMasturbate,

Please don't pin your own sexual lifestyle on me.

I think it's time you learned to except your own sexual preference and stop projecting it on others.

That, or call the wahmbulance.